Hi. Hugs, lots of hugs.
So sorry that this has reared its head again for you. Do you have someone you can talk to? Has something happened recently to change how you have been feeling - a memory trigger, a person from the past, a fight with someone or a loss? Usually self harm is an expression, a symptom of something else that is going on for you. Understanding what might be behind the self-harm is the first step to getting it back under control - to know that it isn't the best way to stop you from feeling the pain/or to stop you from feeling numb. I agree with Izzy, please talk to someone who can help you ASAP.