Well to give a bit of background info, I am about to be 24, I have been on testosterone for about 3.5 years now and had chest surgery about 2.5 years ago. I am in my final year of undergrad and also working at an internship. I am also very stealth.
So this is the problem I need some advice on or if anyone has had a similar experience. Before I finally got out of my denial and started to physically transition I dated women and have always only been interested in women. I never saw myself as female and whenever I dated women they eventually realized this or I told them and it all worked out because they would treat me male. In my late teenage years up until I transitioned I dated a few women, who were very attractive and all either bi or later identified as straight. I felt I was good at getting women and would be really into them when I was talking to an attractive girl or flirting or whatever. I did have a serious relationship of 2 years, who was the only girl I felt I was really "in love" with. Our relationship ended around the time I began to transition, for other reasons.
Anyways, after I began transition I have "talked to" only 2 women in the past 4 years. One was just a post breakup fling with a girl who was bi but I ended it because I wasn't over my ex. Then nothing for about 3 years. Then I pursued this amazingly beautiful woman a couple years younger than me. I asked her to get some lunch and we eventually kissed and I felt pretty into her. She seemed a lot more into me though. I had to confess to her that I transitioned, which surprisingly she took very well and didn't care. Only thing is when it came to hooking up I never took my pants off and she never tried. I was way nervous. Anyways... She had a lot of guys pursuing her because she's an attractive girl and things eventually ended because, well women and their games... Basically she wasn't as great of a person as I thought she was..
SO my main point/question is this.. I literally have only seen 2 women( for a very short time) in four years. It really doesn't bother me too much because I am so busy with work and school and my travel adventures that I don't really focus on it. But sometimes it gets to me and I feel like I am missing out/a failure/ lonely. I feel like I am not as attracted or interested in women anymore. It's weird. For example, I've had many awesome conversations with some good looking women but I never have the intention of flirting or asking her out on a date. I feel like its just a friend thing. I also am self-conscious about my height (5'4) and I think that makes me feel like they wouldn't take me seriously anyways. I can't tell if this is because I am letting my height and genital issues subconsciously keep me from feeling interested in women or if its something else. Has anyone had this experience? (And no I am not interested in men at all)