Do you see a gender therapist? thread...

[Sophie Lou]

I started HRT a month ago. I'm wondering if I should see a gender therapist? Talk therapy has been ineffective in the past with me...I guess that I was good at hiding things from even myself.

This path of physical changes can be so scary. There are huge, irreversible decisions. I Don't know if I'll ever  be sure
of these decisions. But I keep going forward with this...

If it was free, I'd go...

Do you see a gender therapist to get you through this?

[CaptFido87]

Hi Stellarj1,

I would certainly recommend seeing a therapist. If you haven't see one by now and are starting HRT, than it sounds to me that you might be self medicating. This isn't necessarily bad but It could cause problems if you don't know exactly what type of E to be on and such.

You sound kind of like me. You want to tell what you feel, but the words just don't come out. I was trying to talk about some sensitive topics with the only person I've come out to, and I only managed doing about half and mumbled through it. It's hard to hear our own problems as they sound worse than everyone else's problems.

Now I haven't personally seen a therapist yet but I intend to. I have so much on my mind that'd it'd be good to get off the chest. The same probably applies to you as well. If you can't be honest with yourself than who can you trust. A few sessions will open you up and finally get it all out. I'm sure of it.

Best of luck
Marty (Sammi)

[stephaniec]

well, not quite sure if I can answer this, I've been seeing the same therapist for two years. She works in a hospital setting with a team of psychiatrists. She's told me I was her first transgender, but on the hospital web site she's listed as treating transgenders. I like her a lot so it really doesn't matter to me one way or the other but given the fact it's a hospital setting and all the psychiatrists around I'm guessing she knows more then she's letting on.

[DanielleA]

I stopped seeing my gender psychologist 2 years ago as she went on maternity leave. She was the only person I knew who truely understood my issues and who could offer propper advice. I don't know if you are self medicating but if you are, then see your doctor about it. It is just safer.

[FrancisAnn]

Our friends are our best therapist for me. I have lots of women friends & we talk about most everything openly.

[Jessie Ann]

I have my first appointment this weekend.  I was told to come as the real me.  I have only been me in public once before.  I really felt great but I'm not sure what the folks next door will think when they see me getting in the car and heading out.   

[CrissyMarie]

I see my gender therapist on a as needed basis and if I have the available funds.  I may make an appointment once every 3 months, and she hosts a transgender group every week on Thursday, which I got to about every other week.  So in the sense of is it nessasary, no..but is recommended as you will be needing letter eventually if you wish to progress further in your transition.  Such as future SRS or a letter of recommendation for hormones and it stating you are transitioning.  These letters are needed for things such as license changes to have your correct gender marker changed and surgery as well as assists in helping to cope and learn about your new chosen gender.

[BunnyBee]

I stopped going soon as I got my letter.  My therapist did talk therapy too, and I didn't feel like it did me any good either.  I wanted her to, like, tell me what to do, I didn't want to blabber on and on while she nodded.  Anyway, HRT kinda fixed my mood, so there is no need for it anymore for now.

My endo is good for any more letters needed in the future, so that's good too.

[JulieBlair]

I see a gender specialist twice a month for a one hour session.  Regina transitioned over a decade ago, and continues to polish her credentials.  That we have walked similar paths is helpful for me.  That she is insightful and bloody smart is even more important.  I have no burning issues these days, but I take comfort in knowing that there is someone who knows me well, tells me the truth, and is unafraid of the challenges of life as a woman.  A woman with the unique experience of having transitioned.

Peace,
Julie

[ainsley]

I self medicated and then got a physician to prescribe for me long before I ever sought out a therapist.  I knew what I wanted, researched endlessly and felt confident in my own judgement.  I went to the therapist when I needed my letters for SRS.  When I first contacted her on the phone and went through my story, she even told me that I don't need her for anything more than satisfying the requirements.  I naively agreed.  So, I started seeing her to get my letters and ended up gaining a lot of much needed insight to take care of some loose ends with my transition.  After I got my letters and tied up my loose ends, which took only 5 sessions with her and one session with a PhD, she and I agreed that I would not come back until a month or two before my surg. date.

So, IMHO, you may not need them now, nor ever, but you likely would benefit from them in the long run.

My 2 cents.

[Eveline]

I saw a gender therapist for awhile before I transitioned, but she was kind of flakey and I decided I was OK without her.

During transition (the last two years), reading this board has been an unofficial therapy - so many stories and such good advice. 

In a couple of months, I'm planning to see a local psychologist who is familiar with trans issues, pretty much just to get my GRS letter...

[Petti]

I see a therapist but she does not specialize in gender issues. We are working towards getting me hooked up with one who can. Unlike Ainsley two posts up, I don't feel confident in my own judgement. I would feel much more comfortable if a professional confirmed what I believe to be Gender Disorders. I cannot afford to make any mistakes with respect to fully knowing how I tick.

When you said, "There are huge, irreversible decisions. I Don't know if I'll ever be sure of these decisions" I feel the same way. I need to be what I feel is absolutely 100% sure. Please do understand I have been formally diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and my reluctance here is based on the fact that I feel my Gender Issues may be attributed to bi-polar. I don't want to take hormones, socially transition, maybe even get SRS and one day snap out of it saying to myself "holy hell what happened."

I must be certain, and a therapist gets me closer to that certainty.

[Rachel]

I have gone to two therapists. The first for a year and it saved my life. I had a lot of issues to deal with that I carried with me from childhood then add being trans and getting hrt. My present therapist I have seen for a little more than a year and we focus on improving on my gaps, enabling and empowering.

My therapy is covered by insurance now but the first 6 month it was not.

I do not see a gender therapist to "get through this". I see a gender therapist so I can find internal peace and to express externally how I am internally. Along the way I have a lot of hurdles and some I trip over and some I have difficulty getting over. My therapist helps me to see the path when I can not.

[JoanneB]

The absolute best therapy I have gotten has been from my TG support group and especially a couple of angels there for me when I needed them. I spent over 50 years going it alone, been on/off low dose HRT several times, experimented with transitioning twice in my early 20's. Thought I knew everything there was about being a transsexual. Yet I was totally floored my first ever group meeting being in a room filled with people whose life stories and feelings were almost identical to my own.

Several moths later I began seeing a general therapist. He helped with the healing process helping me unlearn decades of unhealthy thinking. Almost 2 years ago the opportunity came to me to begin seeing a for real Gender Therapist. By then I had already been living part-time, on HRT for several years. Yet I still had tons of shame and guilt I carried around. She has helped too.

I spent a good 50 years of my life not being a talker. I was a target of ridicule as a kid, became a loner, a geek, a natural introvert. One on one I am nervous, groups forget it. Total lock up. To be clear it's talking about personal feelings. Thanks to my job when needed on a sales call this introvert engineer can channel my inner salesperson. Part of what I call being a chameleon, something that comes naturally to a trans person.

During group and with a therapist I knew, for my own good, I need to talk. To open up. To say things I didn't allow myself to think or feel. I needed to call upon that inner salesperson for help. Today, I see that inner salesperson as a sneaky way Joanne tried to see daylight. 

[ImagineKate]

I see one twice a month. I may reduce the frequency sooner or later as I progress.

She is very helpful though.

[Christine Eryn]

I have seen several over that past few years. I don't need to go, but I do anyways because I am so close to getting FFS and feel I need as much support as I can get.

[Hailey zy]

I see a gender therapist but i've really only started seeing her to get a recommendation for a doctor to start HRT.  I had a different before that i would see about different issues. When i came out to first therapist see had no knowledge about transgender people. Once I've start HRT i plan on returning my first therapist again.

[kelly_aus]

I saw a gender therapist for about 4 years.. With a close to 1 year gap between the last 2 appointments. I found it enormously handy, even though I was quite clear about what I wanted and who I was.. The opportunity to offload some/most of the baggage I'd acquired in life was very handy - didn't really need to be carrying that crap forward in to my transition.

My endo is good for any more letters needed in the future, so that's good too.

You, and others in this thread, might want to check the surgeons requirements for the letters.. For example, Brassard requires the letter(s) be written by a mental health professional..

[Sabrina]

You should most definitely see a gender therapist if you have questions. That individual will help you figure out what's going on. For example, my therapist helped determine that I in fact do have gender dysphoria which I have had since childhood and helped me come to terms with it. My recommendation is to give it a try with an open mind.

[YoungZep]

I just started seeing a therapist; just a hour of conversation made me feel a lot better. Try not to self medicate as the risks can be very dangerous.