Do you see a gender therapist? thread...

[Mallory]

I'm still a skeptic when it comes to speaking with someone about my issues and them being resolved from it, but I hold nothing back which in itself is a way to vent and express yourself openly in a protected environment. Ive been through 3 sessions, one hour per week (Sunday evenings, great start to the week), and I honestly don't ever want them to end.

Why do I see a gender therapist? I want and need to transition.

[ImagineKate]

As far as how she's been useful to me, she (they, actually) has helped me to:

Work through this with my wife, who isn't fully on board but understands that we still need to co-parent and that I need to be alive and well.

Come out to my parents and siblings.

Ease into workplace transition. The first therapist early on suggested I talk to HR.

Talk to my kids. They are 4 but they need to know how to cope with what daddy is doing. 

Go out as myself. The fact that I present female for the sessions has helped me push myself to present outside of home. Yes I do get clocked/sir'ed but that will get less and less hopefully. And it will help me deal with it. But if I do it right I do pass, at least I think so. I use the women's bathrooms with no problems either.


Also:
"Do you have a therapist?" was a question I was asked for informed consent HRT. My therapist knows and works with my nurse practitioner and doctor so I was able to get my HRT pretty painlessly.

My therapist can help with the NJ form for driver license changes, but I can also get the form signed by the doctor. I might just end up doing it there as they can do the letter for the passport and naturalization certificate changes too.

My therapist can write one letter for SRS, and she can refer me to someone else who can write the second letter. SRS is at least a couple of years away though.

All in all extremely helpful. I initially went because I needed to sort myself out but I found that she has been indispensable.

Now, my therapist is just one part of my own health and well being. The clinic I go to for my HRT is another. They closely monitor me. This place (Susan's) is also important. I can come here anytime for a shoulder to cry on or to get support. I also made a couple of friends here who have been absolutely helpful and supportive on my journey. I have been meaning to go to a local support group which may be helpful but honestly I just don't have the time for them.

[Muffinheart]

If it wasn't for my year in therapy back in 2008, 99.9% chance I wouldn't have transitioned.

[Hikari]

For me, only when I need something that needs letters or signatures from mental health person do I see a gender therapist. I probably could have really used it like years ago, but these days, I am very secure in my gender identity and transition, though I don't doubt seeing a therapist generally could benefit me (and most people).

[Sophie Lou]

I am not self-medicating with HRT; I see an endocrinologist.

Its just so damn confusing at times. Or maybe its just fear and I switch back into my dude identity?

Moving forward for me, at this point, means beginning Laser on my beard. This is my first irreversible step.

[BunnyBee]

You, and others in this thread, might want to check the surgeons requirements for the letters.. For example, Brassard requires the letter(s) be written by a mental health professional..

Prob will worry about that more when it is remotely in the cards

[LizMarie]

A couple points.

First, I see a therapist who also specializes in gender identity issues. For the first six months, I saw her almost weekly, which added up in terms of cost but turned out to be completely worth it. Then we dropped to once a month, then every two months, now it's about every three months, unless I find an issue I want to discuss with her. She's getting me a referral for a second therapist, in this case a licensed psychiatrist, who can also sign off on my GCS letters. I do not regret seeing Micki Washburn one bit over the last 35 months.

Second, depending on which surgeon you choose, you are likely to need one or more letters from a mental health professional stating they believe you are ready for GCS. In Dr. Chettawutt's case, I've been informed I can do one letter, if both mental health professionals sign it so my therapist is planning to do the letter and get that signature before I need to depart. You may want to give yourself six to twelve months lead time with a therapist and then a second therapist in order to get your letter(s) if and when you choose to do that.

Third, I've commented about this once before but transgender children who have accepting parents are as secure in their gender identities as cisgender children. It's when families are not accepting that we begin to doubt, to question, etc. It's when families browbeat us into submission that we wonder if we're the ones that are wrong. There are two corollaries to what I am writing about here. First is that cultural conditioning can harm people like us very greatly. Second is an effect of hormones. One therapist has written extensively about her observations and she has confirmed these observations with other therapists - to wit, trans women get on estrogen, start to feel fine, mistakenly believe themselves "cured" or that their GID is gone, so they detransition, stop taking hormones, and then after a few months as testosterone comes back, they fall back into GID and depression. You may want to ask yourself if this is happening to you.

Frankly, I've felt so wonderful early on with estrogen that I too questioned this but forearmed with this knowledge and my therapist (who also was aware of this) I was able to avoid doing the wrong thing and assuming I was "cured".

[Mariah]

Stellarj1, I have been seeing one gender therapist now for 8 months and the second therapist I start see in March. Both are able to right the letters need for SRS. A gender therapist is extremely helpful and beneficial for me. All of us were good at hiding things from ourselves over the years. In my case it was my sexual orientation and just how feminine a lot of my mannerisms were coming in.
Mariah

[Alexis79]

As of last week, I am officially here. Going again Thursday and honestly...I can't wait. I wish I had more time and money to go more since it made things more concrete in myself. I've had a rough go if it so far this week, and despite high performance at work, I'm utterly miserable because it is all I can do to keep working to distract from how wrong I've started to feel in boy mode. I love that I get a place to start the process of breaking down the walls that I've hidden behind for so long.

[DT4u]

I would consider seeing a therapist before beginning hrt. As silly as it may sound sometimes confirming our idendity with a therapist can be helpful. I chose a transgender friendly therapist. Needless to say health first! Going on Hormones is life changing but so is the grave. A therapists blessing and a doctor doing necessary test and blood work will at least ensure safety.ll

[CosmicJoke]

I did see a therapist and a psychiatrist for over 7 years. The therapist was just a general therapist, not specific in gender issues. Then, my psychiatrist had not a clue what to do with me. I pretty much fought with him on my desire to be female whilst he was so caught up in everything BUT my need to transition.
Neither of them were significantly helpful as they were more of a pain for me than anything else, though I did have one goal in mind. I made sure that goal was reached.
I would recommend a gender therapist from the get go. You won't have to jump through the hoops, though it may depend on the doctor's personality...

[Katie]

I NEVER went to a therapist for anything trans related EVER. That was me. I just knew exactly what I was and executed whatever I needed to do to be the person I am today.

[Virginia]

There are a whole host of physical and psychological reasons a person may feel the need to express themself as their gender not assigned at birth that have nothing to do with being transgender. I see starting therapy with a gender therapist much like going to a neurosurgeon to remove a tumor because you have a  headache. There is enough awareness of gender dysphoria in the psychological community to start with a general therapist and switch to a gender therapist if needed down the line.

My first therapist was a GT. She pegged me as late onset transsexual in denial at my first session. Three years of therapy later what my gender therapist had misdiagnosed a gender dyphoria was correctly diagnosed as Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder (DID/MPD). When the only tool you have is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail. Given the rarity of transsexualism, I think a general therapist would have been more open to other options.

[Lynne]

We don't have any gender specialists or gender therapists in our country. If I wanted to go to a therapist I could only go to the psychologists who write the letters for gender change but I wouldn't consider them experts on the topic and they are not really affordable for me. The 1.5 hours(and $75) I spent there to get my letter was enough for me.

I guess a really good therapists who really understands transgender issues can be helpful, but in the end they cannot confirm your gender, nobody can, but you.
They can help you by asking good questions, listening to you, helping you through rough times and directing you to other doctors if you need it.

I have never been to any psychologists or psychiatrists in my life besides the one time when I needed to see each of them once for 1.5 hours to get my letters for gender change and I don't plan to visit any of them in the future.

If there were better therapists in the area who I could trust and afford I would maybe consider it but right know the problems I'm having can't be solved by a therapist.

[Mara]

Yeah, I have been seeing a very experienced gender therapist for like four months now. I plan to go for at least a few more months, maybe up to another year depending on circumstances.

I sometimes hate going to therapy. I'm not even sure what the real benefit of therapy is or what I hope to get out of it anymore now that I've decided to transition and am on HRT. But I realize that I'm lucky for being able to go at all, so I'm taking the opportunity and giving it my best effort. But at this point, I'm mostly doing it because I may need their help when seeing new doctors, getting my legal gender changed, etc.

[Ashley1212]

I have been seening a therapist for a few months. I go every two weeks. She has experience with trans issues. Therapy is something I needed. I have meet other that dont need to see any one. It is something that works for me. I look foward to seeing her. She is helping me set my time line and with all the other steps that I didnt know about. The only bad part for me is that i have to pay out of my pocket. I see it as an investment to my happiness.
Ashley

[Sabrina]

Seeing a therapist is always a good idea. They can help you understand what you're going through.

[jeni]

I have never seen a gender therapist, but I have had general therapy with the same psychologist for about 2.5 years. Initially this was to treat mild depression, and it worked really well for me. It was after a bit more than two years that I realized that I was in fact transgender, but that happened on my own---it was an interesting session when I came out to him. The therapy was unquestionably helpful in my understanding myself, but we never talked about gender issues prior to that, and barely talked about sex. (This was partly because I was holding back on a few topics because I feared something abstractly "bad" happening if I let them out.)

I think seeing a therapist is important, but I don't feel that I need someone specializing in gender identity issues. I am completely at ease with my identity, but there are things I need to talk about. The most important thing to me is that I have a phenomenal relationship with my therapist. For that reason, I think it would be well advised for someone who is facing transition to start therapy whether gender-specific or otherwise. I was lucky, my therapist was a perfect match on my first try. But that doesn't always happen---e.g., I also see a psychiatrist who is ok, but whom I would not be comfortable deeply discussing personal issues with. She basically supervises some medications and that's about it. If I had the same relationship with my therapist, it'd be a worthless experience. Even with a match, it took me a while to feel comfortable opening up.

As I said, I'm comfortable with my identity and the future transition, but I am aware that I am still likely to experience difficulties related to the reality. Having an established relationship with a therapist in advance means that I have that support in place as soon as I need it. If I never need it, great, it still helps me with other stresses in my life. I think when setting out on as potentially triggering a process as gender transition, putting a support network in place before an emergency arises is very important.

[Jessika]

I started seeing my therapist last October every two weeks, started Laser Hair removal in Dec (Had my 3rd one so far), came out to Family and Friends at Xmas, didn't get my Letter until Jan 30th. Awaiting my Endo appointment to start HRT now.
I was supposed to see my Therapist today in about an hour from now, she has a Doctors appointment thou so I'll see her next week. I see her once a month now as time goes on. But seeing her less often does build up lots to talk about.

Jess