QuoteI always tried to get to know a guy before we actually went out on a date. We'd attend public events or meet for lunch. I never spent time alone with someone before I knew them just a bit. There were a couple that turned out to be real first class losers. They were good looking but totally lacking in areas that were important to me.
I was also very active doing things. I was out hang gliding. I was a member of the Sierra Club Peak Climbing Section. I never climbed the peaks but it was pretty fun. I also participated in teaching back packing and volunteering at local state parks doing various things. I had lots of opportunities to meet people.
Cindi
Hi, Melissa,
I believe that Tink and Cindi have some great advice and observations.
Perhaps it's because I'm older and can see things from both sides of the dating equation that I agree with the advice to meet the guy in a public place at first and get your initial impressions. Ask questions and expect answers that you can use.
Looks aren't everything but if the guy is a slob it's not likely that you'll have a good time with him.
In high school and at university it was easier to accept or reject a date because you had some contact with the guy, however slight in passing.
Make sure that any date is to do a definite thing, at a definite time, in a definite place, and be sure of who's paying. If those things aren't in order, forget the date.
Don't dress too sexily as a guy can easily misinterpret the confidence of a woman who dresses stylishly sexy with a perceived "need" for his attentions. There is a time and a place for everything. It's easier to keep unwanted advances from happening than it is to stop them.
You are under no obligation to date anyone or to enter into any relationship that you don't want. Some guys can be very pushy when it comes to sex or "going steady." I'm 56 and I use language contemporary in the 1960s. You owe no one anything. If you get unwanted phone calls, call the phone company and tell them that you are getting harassed and you're scared.
There are many nice guys out there but there are some genuine jackasses, too.
Keep your personal life and finances to yourself. If you carry a credit card, keep it in your wallet. The fewer people who know your banking data, the safer your money is. Don't invite a guy into your home until you are sure that you can be comfortable with him. When he comes to pick you up for a date, meet him in the lobby or hall if you live in an apartment, or on the front porch or stoup. An unknown guy outside is a lot safer than one inside.
Always carry your cell phone.
I feel confident telling you what I have. I believe that I am "two-spirited."
Good luck and enjoy!
Wing Walker
