this might crunch some cornflakes, but here is my take.
many of us didnt start transition until we were well into our 40's. that was my case, so ill relate on that.
by 45, i had been married 3 times, had two sons, started a business, bought a home. I had enjoyed certain things, like hunting, fishing, and other masculin activities.
after all, back then, 'we' tended to go overboard on the guy stuff, to hide the feelings, and to prove to everyone else that we were the real macho guys, the best at what we did, and we did guy things.
my onset of gender dysphoria was at around 35 years old. mild at first,. going quickly to extreme.
after grs, srs. i came to realise, that the surgery wasnt about how others would see me. it was simply for me, so that body matched mind.
just as in the realm of sexuality, gender identity has many directions.
back in the american indian culture, a person was deemed a 'two spirit'. their life wasnt about choosing between one or the other, it was about embracing both of these 'spirits', the masculine and the feminine.
thats where i settled down. i embrace my physical body , i am female.
i changed my name to reflect that.
i also realized that certain things from my male years were important to me, enjoyable passions that i did not want to give up under steriotypical gender roles. i understaood my two sons had known me as 'dad' for their entire life.
so pre op, scheduled and set to go, I told them " I will always be your Dad. Nothing there will ever change". I continiued working a traditional male job, continued hunting and fishing with my boys, let them in their own time, decide when dad was no longer an appropiate name, and instead , using my new name was ok.
to current time, I ride the line between gender roles and identity. I am not defined now, nor limited by a gender identity. Ive enbraced the "two Spirit" ideal, and live in the role that fits the moment.
I beleive, that I, speaking only for myself, was blessed to have been born with two spirits, two indentities. I see the entire thing, now, looking back, as a blessing. i see those that never have the feelings or experiances that 'we' do, as livng life in a monotone way. as per the difference in old style AM radio, compared to modern surround sound. I thank God, that my counslers had the insight in those early dark ages, to express to me, that I had the power to choose my end results. that I did not have to choose between two standards, that in fact I could create my own standards.
Answering the OP question, yep, waking up the first tim,e, at 3 am in Nina Wis. looking out on a snow covered roof line, reaching down, and realizng, " Its gone" with the next thought, " dreams do come true", that was the moment for me.
years later, lessons learned, I choose that point somewhere in the middle, where mind and body are in harmony, where I am , as a person, not defined by sex or gender in daily life, where I have the spirit and ability, to cross and recross lines as life mandates, when otheres lack that luxery.
Ive have the girls nights out, I hunt along side the men and am just one of the guys, Im still dad to my sons, except that they call me Lisa. both of my sons came into my family business, and work with me daily. Ive married and been a husband in the past,, and a wife in the current. im accepted in a small rural mountain town , american community, in a ultra conservative area. Life just doesn't get any better then this.
In conclusion, I see this/my attitude reflected, even here on this site.
Notice this quote, on top of every page; " We stand at the crossroads of gender balanced on the sharp edge of a knife."
