Someone is outing me

[androgynouspainter26]

I just found out that the reason everyone in my department at school seems to know, for the most part, is that someone has been telling them.  I feel so sick to my stomach-who the hell outs people like that!?  It's not ok.

[StrykerXIII]

You need to find out who this is and make them stop. They've obviously got malicious intent...you need to think - run through a list of all the people you've personally told, and see if they've told anyone else.

I'm not 100% sure, but I think this could actually be dealt with in court if you can find them.

[Ms Grace]

Malicious or utterly stupid. Or both. Find out who they are are and out them as a vile troll because that is what it boils down to.

[Mariah]

So sorry to hear that. It's definitely not okay that they are doing this malicious act. I think it's a great idea too that you make a list of anyone you have told there or that are related to there and try to figure out the source and take legal and or at least action with the school to put a stop to it. Hugs
Mariah.

[mrs izzy]

I just found out that the reason everyone in my department at school seems to know, for the most part, is that someone has been telling them.  I feel so sick to my stomach-who the hell outs people like that!?  It's not ok.

Bring your concerns and safety to the head of the department.

There can be sexual discrimination brought to the offender.

Can also fine line towards hate crimes.

You have to check you local, state or government policies on bulling.

Need to be pro active in your rights.

Hugs

[androgynouspainter26]

I mean, I started school before I passed as well as I do now, so it's sort of an open secret.  Sadly enough, I have no idea who it is, and it could have been literally anyone who keeps doing this.  This is not what I need in my life right now 

[Ms Grace]

One thing I learned pretty quickly when I tried to transition is that the grape vine/rumour mill went into overdrive. To most cis people it is salacious gossip and they have no idea the potential harm or danger they may be exposing someone too by blabbing their mouths, especially when they don't have all the details ( which is usually the case).

[Mariah]

No one ever needs this to happen in their life. You definitely don't deserve the harm they are inflicting on you. They need to be made to realize that they are not helping anyone by what they are doing and they are causing you harm most of all which is absolutely heartless of them.
Mariah

I mean, I started school before I passed as well as I do now, so it's sort of an open secret.  Sadly enough, I have no idea who it is, and it could have been literally anyone who keeps doing this.  This is not what I need in my life right now 

[mrs izzy]

Sometimes it is as simple as asking someone who know now that has not in past.

Investigation. If it causes you distress it is bulling.

Je Suis etres-humains

[jessical]

That is awful   My heart goes out to you.

[suzifrommd]

Hugs, AP. I know what it feels like to be the topic of other people's gossip.

Realistically, though, it's really optimistic to expect acquaintances to keep your secret. Sure, some of them may have a sense of propriety, and avoid gossip, but it's the human condition to want to use knowledge as currency (I'll tell you my juicy tidbit if you tell me yours), and there are other people that simply can't keep a secret no matter how hard they try.

When I transitioned, I resigned myself to an existence where I had to assume that the people around me would eventually find out who I was. I know this feels disappointing, because the stealth life is seductive, but in reality that sort of secrecy takes an awful lot of luck to maintain.

[Julia-Madrid]

I mean, I started school before I passed as well as I do now, so it's sort of an open secret.  Sadly enough, I have no idea who it is, and it could have been literally anyone who keeps doing this.  This is not what I need in my life right now 

Hi Painter

Of course you should try to get the culprit to cease and desist - previous excellent advice applies.

The sad fact is that we are juicy gossip material and, unless you move to some place where nobody knows you, you will always be a source of chatter.  In my company even the newcomers know - it's just too good a story for people to to leave alone.

I'm kind of suggesting that you grow a thick skin, although if you find a source that is more malicious than the category of "general gossip" you should nip it in the bud.

Hugs
A/J

[April_TO]

Painter be strong xoxo

[androgynouspainter26]

Another fun thing: My roomate, who doesn't have a real problem with it just outed me to another person who lives in my dorm who isn't "comfortable living with a man".  So, I'm being forced to pack all of my things and move out on a moment's notice.  This is what happens when you disclose to someone in confidence-you get ->-bleeped-<-ed over.

[Ms Grace]

Utterly unbelievable. Are you able to appeal the directive to move out. I don't know what state you live in but there may be discrimination laws or statutory bodies you can appeal to.

Sadly, like I noted above, people like to gossip. Some "secrets" just cannot be kept, no matter how much you think you can trust the person.

Maybe when we tell people we should say "this is in confidence, disclosure by you to other people might endanger me so please don't."

[Mariah]

That stinks. So sorry to hear that. Hugs
Mariah

[mythy]

Another fun thing: My roomate, who doesn't have a real problem with it just outed me to another person who lives in my dorm who isn't "comfortable living with a man".  So, I'm being forced to pack all of my things and move out on a moment's notice.  This is what happens when you disclose to someone in confidence-you get ->-bleeped-<-ed over.

No! That's horrible! Can you make some sort of appeal? A lot of colleges are getting better about this issue and you can fight it.