Met a MTF Gal who told me flat out: You have to be one or the other!

[Shawn Sunshine]

I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting a gal who essentially disqualified who I was as a person with a few statements in regards to me revealing to her that I was a Two Spirit MTF Transgender Person. She said I cannot be both. She then went on a rant about how long she dealt with erasing her male self and then didn't have much to say to me afterwards. I tried to explain it further, but she was having none of it. This is the first time I have run into someone in the bay area who reacted this way.

[Vanny]

Those who think they know it all, have a lot to learn.   Tomorrow is a new day, be who you want and wear sunglasses darling. 


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[V M]

The only person that you actually have to be is yourself

[Ms Grace]

For some people, if you haven't gone through what they have gone through they're not remotely interested in you. If that's their attitude then I'm not remotely interested in them!

[StrykerXIII]

Stuck-up tramp, that's all she was.

[Shawn Sunshine]

For some people, if you haven't gone through what they have gone through they're not remotely interested in you. If that's their attitude then I'm not remotely interested in them!

Yeah I find this happening with quite a few people I meet. I for one enjoy hearing about diversity and a life I did not live. Getting other peoples perception has always been a conscious thought of mine.

[LoriLorenz]

If Two spirit people don't exist, then why is it an accepted term amongst the First Nations/Native American peoples? 

Being divided into "one or the other" just isn't happening. After all, Intersex designates at least 6 (or 8 can't remember) clearly defined levels of presentation, so her argument is completely wrong!

Def be you, def be proud, def don't let anyone tell you different!

[GothFriendly]

My counselor gave me some recommended reading, one is Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein, which so far half way through echos a lot of thoughts I have had, it goes into the gender system and the in between. I am finding myself increasingly becoming less worried about "passing" and just being me, I have always been about balance anyway. Though how you get a date in this in between state, I have no idea.

[adrian]

Sorry that you experienced this! Seems like people can be trans* and still be stupid and close-minded.

[Shawn Sunshine]

My counselor gave me some recommended reading, one is Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein, which so far half way through echos a lot of thoughts I have had, it goes into the gender system and the in between. I am finding myself increasingly becoming less worried about "passing" and just being me, I have always been about balance anyway. Though how you get a date in this in between state, I have no idea.

By dating another two-spirit or genderfluid person or a person who has a fancy for two-spirits 

[Shawn Sunshine]

Sorry that you experienced this! Seems like people can be trans* and still be stupid and close-minded.

Well I knew that there were gay and lesbian folks who could not or would not accept transgender folks. I guess just because your something and part of something doesn't mean everyone is going to accept that something.

[Sammy]

Next time You might run into someone like that just ask them "Why do they think so?" One thing is to throw around such blatant statements, another one is to try to support them with some reasoning or simply common sense.

[Athena]

Nobody has the right to tell you who you can and can't be.

[Rachel]

At the Philadelphia Trans Heath Conference last year the opening ceremony had native American two spirit people perform their ritual daces. I thought it was very cool to see the dances and have their blessings.

Narrow minds and haters are everywhere.

[alexbb]

yeah i met a chick like that. she was post everything, stealth, told me if i wasnt into guys then i was a faker.
to be fair i thought about it later and decided she was right about guys, one day im hitting that. but she was still a stuckup bitch. it never fails to surprise me when minorities who have faced intolerance are blatantly intolerant. dont get it. like, didnt they learn the lesson from their own experience?? ehhhhh <not allowed> em.

[Eveline]

She then went on a rant about how long she dealt with erasing her male self and then didn't have much to say to me afterwards.

It's possible the woman you met is still struggling to "erase her male self", despite her claim to the contrary, or is fearful that it will re-emerge.

Although it certainly doesn't excuse her behavior, just thinking about having two spirits may have triggered her big time...

[natashaX]

I just loled a little
Little clarification here  I am a real live in indian
You know the wagon burner variety

And I am also from a very very isolated part of north america
And because of that I am third generation of white assimilation.

Two spirit is a bi ....not trans
Berdache is boy that lives like girl

I never heard of being both in my culture and I would say that
If anyone's quite the expert it would be me I live it
But if course every non natice or some 5% blood is going
To discredit me because some poorly  cis hetero white washed
Version they read in a city prolly 4000 km away said this and said that ...

Questions?

[Shawn Sunshine]

I just loled a little
Little clarification here  I am a real live in indian
You know the wagon burner variety

And I am also from a very very isolated part of north america
And because of that I am third generation of white assimilation.

Two spirit is a bi ....not trans
Berdache is boy that lives like girl

I never heard of being both in my culture and I would say that
If anyone's quite the expert it would be me I live it
But if course every non natice or some 5% blood is going
To discredit me because some poorly  cis hetero white washed
Version they read in a city prolly 4000 km away said this and said that ...

Questions?

two spirit can mean bisexual or transgender or genderfluid.

BAAITS is a community-based volunteer organization offering culturally relevant activities for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex Native Americans, their families and friends. Two-Spirit refers to the commonly shared notion among many Native American tribes that some individuals naturally possessed and manifested both a masculine and feminine spiritual qualities.  American society commonly identifies Two-Spirit People as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender.

http://www.baaits.org/#!about/c10fk

[MugwortPsychonaut]

Isn't it funny how oftentimes we transfolk can hold ourselves to an even more rigorous standard to the gender binary, than cis people ever do?

[pollypagan]

All my life I was forcing myself to be someone I wasn't. Shortly after I started HRT I felt I was still trying to be someone that I wasn't, trying too hard all the time and had just swapped one coercion for another. Now I dress how I like and don't care if it's mostly jeans, never go out without make-up and my hair done, heaven forbid, and paradoxically more often than before get read as female which must be something to to with being so relaxed about who I am within myself. (Still hate my voice though. Grrrrrr..) My advice therefore to you is just go with the moment and take to heart all the thoughtful and caring advice of those above.