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Anyone here have a parent that is poor or homeless?

Started by Katelyn, February 17, 2015, 01:44:35 AM

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Katelyn

I can't help but worry about my mother, who just so happens to be in her 60's, a (legal) immigrant from latin america who was never able to get a high school diploma, and hasn't worked in some time.  She has suffered from depression for 20 years. She had been supported by my dad (who she divorced many years ago) who is a long time real estate team company owner,  but my dad has been showing signs that he doesn't want to support her anymore.   I fear that she has absolutely nothing for old age, she doesn't have citizenship and she only has 10 years of marriage to my dad (and a time when she was working for 4 years) to be able to collect from social security, which would probably hardly be anything.  She has a house in her home country, but she needs an income and her home country is poor and has a lack of jobs.

I can't help but feel guilty that I can't help her much because I don't make enough money.  It especially hurts me because I have had a college degree and could've gotten a higher paying job several years ago, but I didn't want to join the rat race and conform to society (a lot to do with my gender issues).  So it's like my mom is suffering because I didn't want to conform. 

Add to that that my sister has severe OCD that is only kept under control with medication, but that makes her lazy and susceptible to gaining weight.  Add to that that she has problems with social skills, often ends up offending people without intention.  She's in college but is behind in getting the skills needed to compete with other college graduates for the jobs out there, or even the low paying jobs due to her lack of social skills.

I feel like even if I'm able to support myself, I'm going to suffer seeing my mom and sister suffer if they end up on the streets.
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Hikari

My family lived in poverty from the time I was 8 till I left at 14. I felt a bit bad knowing my mother collected only a few hundred dollars a month from disability payments, she died last year at 53 years old and there was no one to pay for the funeral arrangements....Last I heard my father travels around in a van like selling things at flea markets, and he sleeps in the van. My brother was also homeless for years once my friends kicked him out of their house though he recently turned his life around.

My only real advice would be don't beat yourself up about what could have been. You didn't do a higher paying job, but there is nothing you can do now that will change what happened in the past, but if you dwell on it in the present it can harm you.

I understand it is painful to see your family go through all of this, I was in that position myself (though it was a bit more complicated because I was no fan of my family), and know that you aren't alone. I really hope that some solution especially to your mothers finances is found because, it isn't easy when you are old without any of the protections being a citizen who worked their whole life brings, nor is it easy to get a job as a (i assume) permanent resident with no diploma and depression.
15 years on Susans, where has all the time gone?
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