What are you thinking? 10.0

[Allison S]

Frankly I'm tired of the nyc trans scene. It's all fetishists and sex. Not my thing. Good thing I started transitioning a few months ago so by the time winter is gone and summer comes around I'll be a bit closer to where I wanna be in time for summer!

I don't dislike being trans but it's not what defines me either

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[V M]

Sometimes I think I liked this world better when I was in a coma

[Christy Lee]

Currently thinking about the band Evanescence, and just how fitting half of there songs are for Transgender people

[Sephirah]

Currently thinking about the band Evanescence, and just how fitting half of there songs are for Transgender people

You might also like Within Temptation. Songs like this:

[Laurie]

 Hi Sephirah,

   I just listened to that song and then looked up the awesome lyrics. I imagine they are really appropriate to many of our members brave enough to put them into practice. For myself I'll have to admire them from a distance.

  Hugs for you, sister,
  Laurie

[Sephirah]

Hi Sephirah,

   I just listened to that song and then looked up the awesome lyrics. I imagine they are really appropriate to many of our members brave enough to put them into practice. For myself I'll have to admire them from a distance.

  Hugs for you, sister,
  Laurie

That song is kind of my anthem. It's one I turn to again and again through every difficult and scary thing I've ever done, or had to go through since discovering it. For me it applies to pretty much all parts of the journey of self-discovery, as well as many other things in life. Be that coming to terms with who I am, who I can be, facing a sometimes hostile world, all the times I've wanted to hide away, or give up.

I think that every single person who questions, and dares to look inside themselves for answers... who faces the truth inside... I think they embody those lyrics. Wherever their path may lead. And that includes you, sweetie.

*hugs back*

[Sarah_P]

You might also like Within Temptation.

WOW!! That's awesome! I don't know how I've not heard of them before, but I have a new awesome band to add to my favorites! Thanks Sephirah!

[Cassi]

So, what am I thinking?  Well, Wednesday is getting closer and as such my excitement and anxiety wind up a little each day.

Not sure doctor will be giving me a supply of HRT meds so not sure what will happen.  I've been reading about the pros and cons of injectable versus patches, versus pills.  Today is my 1st anniversary of having quit smoking and when I was trying to quit, I tried the patches only to have them fall off.

Next in my thinking is where do I have the prescriptions filled?  I start a new insurance company on the 1st and not even sure if the meds are covered by the insurance company.  Next time open season comes, I'm going for Aetna which covers all the transgender related issues.

So, any suggestions on getting the meds filled?  WalMart, Target, CVS, Walgreens, etc.  All info is appreciated.

Cali

[Dena]

If you are paying for your medication out of pocket, check out Good Rx. There can be a major difference in the cost of drugs and in my case, it can be as much as 4 time difference in price.

[Sarah_P]

I'm thinking that I want this to be the last year I spend New Years Eve alone.

[Sephirah]

Woke up with a horrible headache today. I don't drink.

Sympathy hangover? Really?

[Michelle_P]

"North, Miss Tessmacher.  Due North!"

It just popped into my head.  Probably the honey badgers...

[TonyaW]

So, what am I thinking?  Well, Wednesday is getting closer and as such my excitement and anxiety wind up a little each day.

Not sure doctor will be giving me a supply of HRT meds so not sure what will happen.  I've been reading about the pros and cons of injectable versus patches, versus pills.  Today is my 1st anniversary of having quit smoking and when I was trying to quit, I tried the patches only to have them fall off.

Next in my thinking is where do I have the prescriptions filled?  I start a new insurance company on the 1st and not even sure if the meds are covered by the insurance company.  Next time open season comes, I'm going for Aetna which covers all the transgender related issues.

So, any suggestions on getting the meds filled?  WalMart, Target, CVS, Walgreens, etc.  All info is appreciated.

Cali

If your insurance does not cover them, Wal-Mart still has the $4 list.  Estradiol tablets (all strengths) and spironolactone 25mg at $4 for 30 tab or $10 for 90.  Some states they can't sell below cost so may be higher.
Spironolactone is also one of a few  drugs where it's cheaper to get multiples in the lower strengths.  Two and four 25mg tabs are cheaper than a 50mg or 100mg tab.







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[Laurie]

"North, Miss Tessmacher.  Due North!"

It just popped into my head.  Probably the honey badgers...

Michelle,

You have a condo to get moved into and get all fixed up for visitors. You have no time for wandering thoughts. Quit day dreaming and get to work.

Hugs,
Laurie

[Christy Lee]

That song is kind of my anthem. It's one I turn to again and again through every difficult and scary thing I've ever done, or had to go through since discovering it. For me it applies to pretty much all parts of the journey of self-discovery, as well as many other things in life. Be that coming to terms with who I am, who I can be, facing a sometimes hostile world, all the times I've wanted to hide away, or give up.

I think that every single person who questions, and dares to look inside themselves for answers... who faces the truth inside... I think they embody those lyrics. Wherever their path may lead. And that includes you, sweetie.

*hugs back*

Thats nice, i can relate to Evanescence and Linkin Parks stuff like that, and also more recently Imagine Dragons has become like that also, but Evanescence is the big one, its like Amy Lee gets me LOL (hence my middle name)

[Sephirah]

I always have a lot of mixed feelings coming back here. This place has an uncanny, timeless quality. That, no matter what happens in your life, when you come back here it's like you never left. I really don't know how I feel about that. Things that happened years ago are suddenly fresh in your mind. You see a post, or a message from someone you knew, and everything associated with that comes flooding back. Like the time since just never happened.

Now there are many different names, sure, but the same issues. The same torrent of emotions. The same fears, questions, milestones, triumphs. The same... Susan's Place. It's a very weird thing to try and describe. It's been nearly ten years now, since I first took the plunge and registered here. And coming back here now it's like "wait what? How long?" I see people I met right at the start, and sometimes I'll see a message or post from someone I met along the way, and the time just seems to evaporate. This site sometimes feels like it exists in its own time bubble, lol. At least for me it does.

A lot has happened since I first came here. Some good, some bad, some nightmarish. Most life-changing. I am a very, very different person to the person I was when I first joined. I don't even read my earliest posts because it's like night and day. I think I have lost a lot of what I was back then. Although back then I was practically addicted to the site. It was home. Solace. But nevertheless... I do not think I am as capable now as I was then. I think a lot of scars refuse to heal. Mentally, as well as physically. But I try. That's all we can do.

I dunno, I'm rambling. My brain is leaking, lol. I've decided to stick around for a while. Who knows, it may be good for me, being back here. One can only hope.

[Sinead]

How do I deal with seeing other trans women/or just women in general when I haven't even started transitioning yet? I can't get over the feelings of jealously, even watching India Willoughby (trans news presenter) on Big Brother with my mom makes me so upset that I want to leave the room.

Also wondering how late I can get up tomorrow to go to work when I should be in bed already

[V M]

It always amazes me, the percentage of people who possess the ability to get my screen name correct versus the percentage of individuals who are completely disrespectful and couldn't get it right if their very lives depended on it

[Cassi]

It always amazes me, the percentage of people who possess the ability to get my screen name correct versus the percentage of individuals who are completely disrespectful and couldn't get it right if their very lives depended on it

Not trying to be disrespectful but I don't have a clue on the V M.

[Sinead]

I realised I was trans on October 7th last year (yeah, I know the exact date), 3 months ago, and this is the first time in that time that I actually wished I wasn't transgender, I just want to be happy in my own skin, if I could be happy as a male - which I know is impossible, I would take it right now. The last few months have been constant ebbs and flows of being content as a male (which still knowing I'm transgender deep down) and wanting to end my life (I would never actually do so, but it actually hurts that I am not female). I know this feeling is never going away, I just wish things were easier.

I've been used a lot of crutches (alcohol, casual sex, belittling other people, eating really unhealthy) to cope with being transgender - while I wait to be referred, and while I'm trying to accept this and make reversible changes (such as laser therapy, counselling, look for wigs, dressing female and wearing women's underwear wherever possible) none of it actually works, it does distract me from the pain I'm feeling. Even if it does distract me, all it takes is seeing a beautiful female or another trans person further in their transition than me, to bring all those bad feelings back.

Feel free not to reply, I'm just ranting, just wish things were more straightforward, I know for a fact if I tried to ignore the truth of me being trans, I'd just end up hating myself more and doing further damage pyshologically