Friends With your Mom?

[Kellam]

If this isn't the right place for this please move it. Realy it is just a silly question but how many of you are or were friends with your mother? Growing up I wanted the respect of my Mother. She and her father had this great intelectual dynamic going on, though they were competitive. I waited for the day when I would be accepted by them as an adult. It came one Christmas when my Grandad couldn't define a word, asked my Mom, she couldn't so he asked me. It was when I first felt grown up. Fast forward to my mid twenties and the hour plus long phone conversations I had with my Mom became common place. Over the past few years as she has dealt with a chronic fatigue problem and I got more free time, I have begun staying with her when I am not working. We truly have become fast friends. Watching TV together while we work on our separate writing projects. Going out for meals. Shopping and just chatting away. My Pop only comes up once a week so it is all girl time, though she doesn't know that yet...

I'm Really quite glad of this aspect of our relationship. It will make transitioning around her that much easier. I believe both of my parents will support me. They would have if I had admitted everything back in junior high when they first found my clothing stash. I trust them, I plan on telling them at the end of March when I go for another visit.

Anyway, sorry, rambling. So, anyone else? Friends with your Mom? Before or after transition?

[ChiGirl]

I always had a closer relationship with my mom.  I felt like she understood me more than anyone else.  Not that I didn't get along with my dad.  I think it was his approval I was seeking.  I felt I had my mom's.  When my mom passed 12 years ago, I realized I needed to build my relationship with my father.  Turns out, we get along great great.  He doesn't always understand or approve, but he always tries to be supportive.

I always thought growing up that I was a mama's boy.  Turns out I'm a daddy's girl!

[Sunderland]

My relationship with my mom has improved since I came out to her. We're still not really close. The relationship is nothing like what you have with yours, but we're fairly friendly with each other now and I go visit her from time to time. Before, we were always at each other's throats. I don't see us as ever having the sort of close relationship you've described, but I'm happy that things are no longer so strained.

[suzifrommd]

Alas, Mom never lived to see my discovery of my true gender and my transition into it.

But we were friends, closer during some stages of my life than others, but I respected her, trusted her, was open with her, and spoke to her frequently. Yes, we had our disputes, and she grew a bit demanding during her last years, but I can honestly say she was my friend.

[Shawn Sunshine]

  sadly my mom has been my enemy a good portion of my life. Sometimes we have friendly moments and even loving moments. I don't want to hijak your thread or anything but I have a video on my youtube that kinda tells the story. I wish we could be loving good friends as well as parent and offspring.

[Brenda E]

Never was beforehand, but that's hopefully going to change.  My mother has been completely supportive of my transition thus far - unquestioningly so, even when she doesn't quite understand - and while it's going to take a long time to build a relationship that we've never really had in the past rather than retooling an existing relationship, I'm looking forward to getting to know my mother from scratch as her daughter instead of her son.

Kellam, sounds like your mother will be a great ally when she finds out.  On one hand, I'm rather envious of you for having that kind of close relationship with a parent; I've lost many, many years of getting to know my parents better, and to be honest I'm not entirely sure I know them particularly well.  But on the other, I'm glad in some ways that my mother doesn't have much of a history with a son that she might struggle to leave behind - it's got to be hard on parents to come to terms with a child's gender transition, even if on the surface they're utterly accepting.

Good luck at the end of March!

[Kellam]

Ooff. I'm Sorry y'all... I didn't mean to pick at anyone's open wounds. This topic may be insensitive. I didn't mean to make anyone feel bad. Glad I'm not the only one but so sorry for those of you who have different relationships with your mothers.

If it makes things up a bit, I do get along with/like my Pop. But we're not friends. He loves me and is proud of me but we just don't share any interests. He tried to share hiking with me, but he has flat feet and asthma so that was rocky and I don't do trains, cars or woodworking. I get the impression that he'd like to be closer. Perhaps coming out will change our dynamic for the better too.

[natashaX]

My mother would not even help or care when I'm.on a suicide level
Event. She screams at me as much as she can