Feeling disconnected

[Tumbleweed]

Hello, this is my first post on this site. I hope I'm posting this in the correct category; I am under 18 after all, but I feel like this post is all over the place
Lately I have been feeling extremely out of touch with everyone else and losing my motivation for friendships, school, etc. I'm losing motivation: I can't picture a future as female at all. I feel like I'm not really living how I want to live and I'm wasting all my time because I'm not living as a male. Am I alone on that, or can anyone relate? I want to start medically transitioning but I have only told my older siblings how I feel and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere because I haven't told my parents what I want to do. I have told them how I felt in the past a few years ago, but I guess they didn't take me seriously.
I go to one of the top high schools but I'm rapidly losing interest in my grades because it feels like it doesn't matter anymore. I can't relate to any of my friends anymore; I have to put up an act for everyone. Mostly I wonder how everyone else can seem so content and optimistic with themselves. I guess that could be teenage angst, lol, but I have been feeling that way for a long time now. I really want my chest gone and I dread the thought of any further development of secondary sexual characteristics. I've been feeling very anxious about my hips getting wider.
Can anybody else relate to me? Or know how I can at least feel more connected to my current reality (that probably sounds confusing...)?  How can I stay motivated for the time being, until I can get the courage to officially come out?

[suzifrommd]

Hi Tumbleweed. Welcome to Susan's. 

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As for what you're describing, is it possible you might be slipping into depression? Loss of interest in stuff you used to put effort into is one of the symptoms. I don't know if that's what's happening to you, but it's common for trans people to suffer from depression, especially when treatment isn't progressing.

You'll find a lot of people here have gone through what you are.

I've found that the two most valuable ways to stave off dysphoria are allies and a plan. Are there people you can tell who can help you decide how to go forward? A school counselor or psychiatrist? A teacher? A trusted adult? Friends?

How do you think your parents would react if you asked them to see a gender therapist?

[Maxwell]

Hello, this is my first post on this site. I hope I'm posting this in the correct category; I am under 18 after all, but I feel like this post is all over the place
Lately I have been feeling extremely out of touch with everyone else and losing my motivation for friendships, school, etc. I'm losing motivation: I can't picture a future as female at all. I feel like I'm not really living how I want to live and I'm wasting all my time because I'm not living as a male. Am I alone on that, or can anyone relate? I want to start medically transitioning but I have only told my older siblings how I feel and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere because I haven't told my parents what I want to do. I have told them how I felt in the past a few years ago, but I guess they didn't take me seriously.
I go to one of the top high schools but I'm rapidly losing interest in my grades because it feels like it doesn't matter anymore. I can't relate to any of my friends anymore; I have to put up an act for everyone. Mostly I wonder how everyone else can seem so content and optimistic with themselves. I guess that could be teenage angst, lol, but I have been feeling that way for a long time now. I really want my chest gone and I dread the thought of any further development of secondary sexual characteristics. I've been feeling very anxious about my hips getting wider.
Can anybody else relate to me? Or know how I can at least feel more connected to my current reality (that probably sounds confusing...)?  How can I stay motivated for the time being, until I can get the courage to officially come out?

I also put up an act, but luckily I had good friends, they accepted it instantly. I guess it matters if your friends are open, or ever dealt with something like this before.
What ever you do stay on top of those grades! I am currently in the motions because I just got tired of what other people wanted out of me and did things for my happiness.
I know if anything happened atleast I would feel better about myself that I did what I wanted then stay as they wanted but feel dead inside.

Don't worry or do anything, I am young but I don't want to go through highschool silent. I know what could happen, I know the risks but I still push on, why?

Because I want to have a good future then living in a horrible now. Just try to be positive and most of all you're your number one fan, and you can never get away from yourself so you gotta
make yourself happy for you.
Stay strong!
And you're in the right place! There are really helpful posts here so take some time to go through them, or if you need to talk/ ask a question you always can. You're safe here.