advice needed please

[charleneallymom]

I have this amazing son who I seem to forget my proper pronouns with talking to him , or about him. How can I set my mind to stop this? I support him 100 % so that's not my issue. I always knew he was not in the right body, I was just waiting for him to realize it himself. Now here we are and he is FTM and I'm still calling him she half the time. Does anyone have any good advice for me?

[LordKAT]

You spent a number of years using one pronoun and it got to be habit, it takes a while for new  pronouns to become habit. It usually works well to give your self mental reminders and 'catch' yourself when your thoughts say fem pronouns, correct yourself. Saying it out loud to your mirror every morning helps, too. Other than that, give yourself time and just keep correcting yourself when you slip up.  It is pretty much the sameway you change any other bad habit.


I heard the rubber band trick can help, but I'm not so sure about that.

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[V M]

Old habits are hard to break and it just takes time, particularly when associated with familiarity 

Possibly pausing a moment before responding to him or other people to remind yourself 'He, Him, His' might help?

[boywonder159]

Think before you speak. Remember when you misgender him it hurts. He knows you don't do it on purpose but it does cause dysphoria. But when you get it right it makes his whole day better. Btw hi mum.

[Jayne]

I run an LGBT support group and it can be hard to get pronouns right at first, to avoid this problem I avoid he/him/she/her, it takes practice but it's easier than breaking a habit that's had years to take root and get so comfy in your head that it's helped itself to the contents of your fridge and puts its muddy shoes on the furniture
If you've gotten the hang of his new name then use that instead of gender as being misgendered hurts, I should know cause after three years of being supportive my mum can't get my name or gender right "sigh"