Gender fluid vs transgender?

[JQ]

Many of you have read the struggles my so and I have been going through the last few months. First he decided he wanted to transition, now he doesn't want to.

I finally got him to sit down and talk about what it feels like when he feels more feminine and wants to dress. He said it is almost like being manic, he can't stop thinking about it and needs to do something. He also said that when he comes down from it, he can't believe he felt it so strongly. I believe him, he said he doesn't always have that underlying feeling of being a woman. He even said he thought about it for first time in weeks last night and was surprised have that feeling because had been so long.

He believes now to be more gender fluid than actually transgender. He doesn't want to change his body. Has anyone had this experience, of either being the person or the so, where it had ended up being the case of gender fluid more than transgender?

I'm just trying to understand, because I know for a lot of people as you get older the feeling of wanting to be more one gender than the other tends to surface, and we're trying to understand this before we have kids.

Thanks in advance.

JQ

[mmmmm]

Gender fluid actually means he is transgender. You are confusing the terms (and I don't blame you)... if he feels he is more gender fluid, he's probably not transsexual. But gender fluid definitely falls under the transgender umbrella. I had typical transsexual feelings and struggles from basically when I remember, so I can't help you much. I do know a few gender fluid individuals, and they're all strongly against any body changes. All I know said they never felt any body dysphoria, unlike transsexual people, who are defined by having severe body dysphoria, and urge to change the body apperance with surgery and hormones. What you two need to do is find an experienced gender psychiatrist who will help you answer your questions, and clear the situation.
With people transitioning at older age it is mostly a case of "type 2" transsexuals, who are in deep denial for very long time, like 30, 40 years or more. Most likely they were married, have children, are (primarily) attracted to the opposite sex of their biological sex, do everything they can to suppress their feelings and keep them from anybody knowing, and in most cases do their best to present on outside as typical hetero-normative masculine men. There is a lot more to discuss and look into between you two, and really the most intelligent approach would be talking to someone with professional background. If you find out he (she in this case) is really a transsexual, a transition is the only option. The sooner the better...

[sam1234]

It sounds like its time to bring in a therapist. There are  at least a couple other disorders that on the surface look like gender dysphoria, but aren't. Not wanting to change his body in anyway kind of raises a red flag. Most people with gender dysphoria start feeling like they aren't right very soon, some back to their first memories. A therapist could help him sort out why he feels the way he does.

He could be transgender, but he sounds confused and although its great that you are trying to help him, sometimes talking to someone who has no emotional investment in the outcome will allow the person to open up more.

sam1234