Are you out at work?

[mythy]

Just curious to see what other peoples' experiences have been coming out at work. I am out to some people but most people see me a a cis man. People who know me better know I am trans though.


Sorry if this is already a poll, I didn't see one yet..

[antonia]

I'm out at work, transitioned on the job and did it slowly progressing from male to female in front of their eyes.

Everyone is awesome about it, the newer people (read guys) tend to behave a bit differently than the guys that knew me before but both the guys and the girls have been super supportive and I could not be happier.

One of the things that I did before going full time and starting HRT was do a 1h powerpoint presentation on being trans and trans etiquette for the entire company, I think this helped a lot and even though it wasn't easy to do it was worth it in the long run.

[ToniB]

Hi I am in a halfway position at Work .I have reached a position in my transition when I can no longer hide the feminisation of my face breasts and personallity .I got approached by several ladies and was asked descretely what is going on plus i had a problem with my breasts getting crushed by a part of my job .I went to Occupational health and the nurse said I need a BRA to support my boobs .that led to having to approach HR and it was decided that for my protection against harrassment I declare myself transgender.We decided that it was better to come out to the workforce and scotch all the talk and gossip that had started .I am still a while from dressing at work due to the wife having grat difficulty coming to terms with my transition .But I have found so much support at work .I decided I had to come out to my grown up daughters and they both said tell me something we dont know so no problem there..So if I can get the wife on board I can transition at work anytime I want

[LordKAT]

Yes, but the choice or not choice leaves to much to interpretation.
I wasn't outed by other people, I transitioned at work. My choice would be to work without my status being known by anyone.

[Cindy]

I just went FT. Friday male, Monday female. Their problem not mine. Women accepted me straight away, men had a struggle. I didn't.

To be honest in my opinion is that there is no way to hide transition, so why hide?

Just do it?

[Kellam]

I'm still a month or two from the start of hrt, although I have begun the process. So I am not ready to come out at work. That being said, I have started doing little things to make me feel better that folks may or may not be noticing. Shaved my hairy arms and legs, wearing a pink ball cap instead of ratty grey, women's pants and I am not restraining my mannerisms. I haven't done it all at once either, slow trickle is what I am going for. I have worn women's pants to work in the past so there may be years old rumors about me, I don't know. I will either wait for hrt to take noticeable effect, or maybe once the beard is gone, or the more likely option, I will just reach a point where I can't stand not saying anything. Or perhaps one of my nosey workmates will ask me something and give me an opening. I'm looking forward to it either way. Also, Boston is a small city and I have been dressing way more fem when I am out and about in my own time. I am fine any which way and the museum I work at is probably as close as one can come to a safe place.

[Jerri]

For me, my anxiety and dysphoria was so extreme after my break down that it was not healthy to continue with trying to support a dual identity. So I came out and 6 months later went full time in every aspect of my life. I had worked for 25 years at the same location and continue too as I physically continue to change before them, I also find that many of the guys seem to struggle a bit more than most of the women. I use the term most because it seems to be based on the person not so much their genetics. Over time my position with 99% has improved as they have witnessed so much improvement in my demeanor and focus living as me. And as with everything in life some are just appalled and don't care why.

[ainsley]

Like Jerri, the duality of going to work male and being myself outside work was too much. 

I just went into HR one day, popped down and asked what the corporate policy was on transgender and if there was any threat to a person's job if they presented other than their assigned birth gender.  My company had no trans* out, and the diversity policy made no mention of gender identity or expression.  The HR girl understood that I was talking about myself, although I avoided that because I did not want to be let go from my job (ours is a traditional, private company of about 1700 employees).  She consulted the HR VP and came back with their position on it; they wanted to be fully supportive.

So, I met with her again, came out to her, and basically got the go ahead to dress how I want and use w/e restroom I felt comfortable in.  They even designated the first gender non-specific single occupancy bathroom for me.

HR then did something I was a bit take aback by: They called my bosses in and outed me to them!  They were intending to prevent any discrimination toward me by them, but still!  So, my boss had a chat with me, and she was awesome about it.  She said HR wanted to call everyone in from my department one by one and explain to them the corporate expectations toward trans* and the respect of the diversity policy.

So, they basically fully accepted my coming out, supported it with changes in the corp., outed me to my bosses, then had a little chat with all of the people in my department about respecting my decision.  And, they have been nothing but supportive since.  Every once in a while I will get a call from the girl in HR and she will ask if anyone has mistreated me in any way, or even said anything to me about being in the ladies room.  She keeps telling me that if I experience anything ill intended to contact her immediately.

The only thing they will NOT accommodate for me is removal of the specific exclusion in our medical coverage for "sex transformation operations and related services".  argh!

-Ainsley

[Myers]

No, and I like the way it is.

I know my coworkers are trans-friendly, cos we had discussed it a couple of times already. And one of the coworker's relatives is a transgendered woman.
Also I suspect one of the guys from another office being a post-op transman (you know, sometimes it is just obvious).

I was thinking about coming out. Don't know why thought.. But I changed my mind, I would prefer living stealth. It makes me feel much comfortable

[StrykerXIII]

Coming out almost certainly spells "termination" for me. Most of the individuals under the employment of my company are male (I'd estimate around 95%), with 99.9% being cismale "macho" types (the other 0.1% being myself, obviously).

[FTMax]

I am. With the doctors appointments to start HRT and surgery consultations, my boss was concerned that I was having some kind of major health issue. He felt better after I told him I was transitioning 

[Sunderland]

My "boss"was actually the first person I came out to, since she is a family member. I'm not sure how much it really counts, since I don't work around other people, but I voted in the poll anyway.

[Miharu Barbie]

Nope.  Not a good idea for me.  For the past 9 years I've worked in the accounting office for an order of Catholic nuns.  As far as I know, no one at work has any idea about my trans history, and I shudder to think how the 600 nuns I work for would react.  It was challenging enough for them when I met and married another woman 7 years ago.  They raised an eyebrow when got a half-sleeve tattoo on my left arm last March... they raised the other eyebrow when I got a half-sleeve tattoo on my right arm 3 weeks ago. 

I think that's enough testing my luck with the Catholic Church for one lifetime.

[Jayne]

I came out at work and before long I didn't have to worry about getting up for work anymore.
The company was part of a group that sells magazines, I won't name them for legal reasons. On a completely unrelated topic I'll never walk into a branch of WH Smiths for some reason

[Virginia]

The duality of living of as both a man and as a woman is not difficult for me; it is the solution. Being a cisgender man is as fundamental to my role in my System as being a cigender woman is to my female alter.

The battle between us for control of the body was a bloody one. Misdiagnosing my Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder (DID/MPD) as transsexualism, my GT insisted I begin to develop a more feminine presentation as a step towards what she saw as my eventual coming out and transition. Coming out is not and has never been right for me or my wife, while I was still working or now that I am retired. The more I incorporated female grooming and clothing into my style, the worse my dysphoria became. I went from the frying pan into the fire, from not meeting my female alters needs to not meeting either of our needs.

I am still my System host but agreeing to split fronting 70/30, both me and my female alter get 100% of what we need. Achieving this very basic level of self acceptance set the stage to begin recovering my memories and healing the scars of childhood trauma.

[Eva Marie]

I was living a dual lifestyle - presenting male at work and living as a female everywhere else and it was getting harder and harder to keep each life separate from the other. I was also experiencing more and more male fail, and I knew it was time to get on with my transition. I approached the CEO and came out to her, and a few weeks later I had my legal name and gender change on 9/15/2014 and showed up to work as Eva on 9/17/2014. I work in a semi-smallish office (about 50 people) and the reaction has been 99% positive from most people, but there is still that one person that constantly misgenders me  but its more of a forgetful thing than done from any malice.

The women generally accepted me immediately and i've noticed that that the men have all gotten much, much nicer to me, and i've observed a few of them surreptitiously checking out parts of my anatomy. Work is just work now and I quickly became old news around the water cooler. I have some close associates/spies in the office and they say that they have never heard anyone talking bad about me.

Prior to my coming out and at my suggestion my company hired a gender therapist to come into the office and make an educational presentation about what was happening with me while I was taking a few days off before the 17th. I think that people learning about it from a professional went a long, long way toward them being ok with me and accepting me. The other thing that really helped was that management made it perfectly clear that they supported me 100% and no shenanigans or disrespect would be tolerated from anyone.

[Call me Ray]

Mine's not yet, pre-transition. Mostly because I don't start T until (hopefully) next week and we're still working with HR to get everything finalized for coming out and transitioning at work by the end of the month.

So, not yet but soon!

[Jill F]

I think everyone at Susan's Place probably knows that I'm a transsexual by now. 

And yes, most of my former employers know.  There's one that I'm not telling because I know he hates all things LGBT and has the means to have me whacked.

[ErinReign]

My direct co-workers, male and female, are pretty vocally against anything LGBT related, and from the CEO down the company throws off an old boys' club vibe. So no I am not out at work nor do I intend to be until I get a new job.

[Tripdistrans]

I started working at McDonald's before transition, and they have been absolutely great about it. The Store Owner herself sat down every single manager, even the ones I don't work with, and explained that I must be respected as male and that if crew are not respecting my gender, that they must do something about it.

Now, I'm not saying the Managers are hot diggity damn at making sure this happens, but if I point it out to the right Manager, they do go and talk to said crew member. It also sort of helps that my older sister worked (until last week) in the same store as me. There's still the maintenance guy that I've already mentioned way too many times.. I'm waiting on one of the managers to get back from her holiday so I can ask her to address the situation, for some reason I feel like the male managers just won't deal with it appropriately.

As for Coles, I started working there after I started my transition, and they have no problem with it. I don't think I ever really explained that I'm transgender, I think I just sort of told them briefly when explaining the name difference and stuff and they were like yeah cool. Because I pass 99% of the time, I've got no problems over there. I've only told one work friend about it, and I've got no idea at all if the others know.