Gender identity.

[Equestriaghoul]

Hello, I could use a little bit of advice, I used to think that I identified as female, but for the past year or so I haven't been sure, I would still like to at least get blockers and electrolysis, but I'm not sure about hormones, but I don't want to wait too long to do anything, granted, I've only been 18 since December,but I feel like most of my life has been wasted. I just don't want to wasted anymore of it. I don't really like being called he, and I hate it when my parents call me "son" or refer to me as "the boy". I also hate having my hair cut really short(in fact, soon I'm probably going to stop cutting it altogether, at least for a good long time), and being seen, by anyone, without any clothes. I think I'm bisexual, but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable dating anyone with a vagina, I do want more than just sex, and I'm in no hurry to lose my virginity, but if I'm dating someone and it goes well, it will eventually lead to that. I also hate when my voice sounds too deep and try to make sure not to talk in a way that it would. I also get pretty mad when people say or do something that is sexist(against men or women). But I'm not sure if I identify as female or not, although I'm pretty sure I'm not male. I know I don't have to be one or the other, but I'd like to figure out what my real gender is, even if it's neither.

Can anyone here give me any advice?

I plan to see a therapist, I just don't know when I'll be able to.

Thank you for your time.

[adrian]

I too started out with the realization I wasn't female last year in spring (I'm coming from the opposite side ). At that point I wasn't ready to identify as male, but over time I realized that everything I wanted was "male" and everything I hated about myself was female. So I did end up on the male end of the spectrum, but it took me a while to embrace this. And as you said, not everyone falls into the binary, and that's ok.

Finding a counselor to help you work out what you feel most comfortable with would be helpful I think.

Regarding hormones -- your body needs either testosterone or estrogen to function, so only taking t-blockers for an extended period of time will do you harm. So this isn't an option as far as I know.

[mfox]

I felt the same way at 18, and started by fixing the things that bothered me most about my male traits.  Laser hair removal everywhere was a huge boost. 

But as adrian said, you do need either Testostrrone or Estrogen to stay healthy.  Otherwise your mood will feel terrible and you'll develop osteoperoisis (not overnight but).