Friend-zoned & not "man enough"

[Contravene]

This is literally the definition per the wiki page:

In popular culture, friend zone refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person, most commonly a man, wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not.  If a desired party does not return or respond affirmatively to the advances or affection of the desiring party, but continues to participate in the friendship in a platonic way, it is sometimes described as friend-zoning.

It seems some people here misunderstand how the friend zone is used by the "friend-zoner" though. The sole purpose of the friend zone is to manipulate the person in that zone while that the person "continues to participate in the friendship in a platonic way."

The friend zone can only exist when the "friend-zoner" has given the other person signals that there may be potential for more than just a friendship between them. If there haven't been any sexual or romantic signals between both parties then it's simply a friendship and there's no need for either person to be in the friend zone.

The only time I hear of the friend zone being used to refer to whiny men who can't handle rejection is when militant radical feminists are attempting to make men seem like misogynistic pigs who can't control their sexual urges or when guys are "white knighting" which is another term I think everyone should look up.

[Cindy]

OK Guys lets not get too bullish?

Please?

Cindy

[wheat thins are delicious]

The term friend zone exists because because the guys using the term think a girl being friendly is her giving signals of interest.  They are under the belief that if they are nice to a girl who considers them a friend that they are somehow owed more.  The OP even describes just that.  Girls thinking he is nice and sweet does not mean they are interested.   It doesn't even hint at what you described as the "friend zone" (really just manipulation, no need for a special name for that).  I've never seen a girl use the phrase friend zone when a guy manipulates her.  That's pretty telling about the origin of the phrase.

[Brandon]

This is literally the definition per the wiki page:

What you describe in your first reply is called manipulation. 

This phrase basically sums up a common way guys place uncalled for blame for not being liked back on the women who just want to be friends.

Even girls say they have friendzoned guys so that's a invalid arguement, you don't even need to ask a girl out to get friendzoned. She could very well be interested but as a female friend of kind mine said some guys get friendzoned because they never actually ask a girl out.

[Brandon]

The term friend zone exists because because the guys using the term think a girl being friendly is her giving signals of interest.  They are under the belief that if they are nice to a girl who considers them a friend that they are somehow owed more.  The OP even describes just that.  Girls thinking he is nice and sweet does not mean they are interested.   It doesn't even hint at what you described as the "friend zone" (really just manipulation, no need for a special name for that).  I've never seen a girl use the phrase friend zone when a guy manipulates her.  That's pretty telling about the origin of the phrase.

Go back to highschool, girls use it a lot, trust me some of my female friends have.

[Contravene]

Sure, Wheat thins...

I suppose we're viewing it from two different perspectives and I respect Cindy and her request so I'll leave it at that.

[wheat thins are delicious]

Sure, Wheat thins...

I suppose we're viewing it from two different perspectives and I respect Cindy and her request so I'll leave it at that.

She said not to get too bullish, not that we couldn't have a discussion... but ok.

[wheat thins are delicious]

Go back to highschool, girls use it a lot, trust me some of my female friends have.

Meh, I've been to high school and while it's true that some girls manipulate guys just as some guys manipulate guys, that's just what it is, manipulation.  When guys use the term friend zone it has a far different meaning that what you seem to  believe it does.

[nyrangers30]

I understand the friend zone is a hot topic for debate and people have different views about it, but can we remember why this forum was made? Because our brother needs help and dating advice. Can we get back to that?

[Ayden]

Terms and phrases have different meanings depending on where you are coming from. A younger person is going to think something different than an older person, someone from one region is going to interpret things to mean something different from another region. That's how language works. I think we can all agree that any guy or girl who does something solely to get something out of someone else is a selfish jerk, and that people don't owe each other sex in exchange for kindness.

Back to the OP: Its very likely that you are just finding the wrong people. Dating can be hell in general and its harder when we don't match the expected image. Are you looking in places where people share your interests? I've been out of the dating game for a long time, but I have certainly gotten my fair share of dating offers from men and women in recent years. Most of them I met either through work or through social events or volunteering.