Heya,
My name Kristen, I'm 32, MTF, living in Edmonton. I've known pretty much since I was old enough to tell there was a difference, though it wasn't till I was older that I had a better idea of what it meant.
My whole life I've had a million excuses why it wasn't the right time to transition. I was still around family and I didn't think they'd understand. I was at a temporary job and it would be easier to do it after rather then transition around co-workers. I got married, I was happy with the woman I was with, and even though she was supportive and understanding, it would have been complicated. But honestly the real reason has always just been that I was too scared to risk what people in public would think, what friends who didn't know would think, all the usual stuff. I always told myself that if I hadn't transitioned by 30, I just never would, I'd be too old, hormones wouldn't help anymore, you know, more excuses. And for most of the last two years, I'd pretty much given up. I tried to tuck it away, and focus on career.
In the last six months though, I've finally really embraced just, well, me. I finally came out to family, I've come out to most of my co-workers. I've started laser hair removal and am really happy with the results so far and things seem great going forward. I'm a little overweight compared to where I'd like to be, so I've lost 30 pounds in that time. I spend at bare minimum my weekends dressed as me, and I don't always pass, it's not always perfect. But I do, most of the time, and every moment is worth it. And it really wasn't even that hard, I just had to push past those fears, and everyone around me has been totally accepting and supportive, my family doesn't fully understand it, but they are there for me, my time out has made me nervous, but mostly happy. I wish I'd gotten over my fears and pushed for this 10 years ago. But I still have a long life ahead of me, and I'm looking forward to spending as much of it as possible making up for lost time and living as the woman I am.
My next step is, I hope, starting hormone replacement therapy. I've found a family doctor who's been super supportive, and has referred me to a specialist in my city, so I'm just waiting anxiously for the phone call that makes that appointment. I know at my age I won't see as much result as I'd probably love to, but I think it'll be an important step in helping me take control of my identity. I'm happy to be part of this group, and hopefully I can be a positive influence on others who are going through the same thing.
Thank you, and lots of love, Kristen
Edit: Somehow accidentally typed FTM, fixed!
