work promotion and I'm in the closet

[megan7777]

So I'm dealing with a lot of issues including coming out to my wife, who is an emotional storm when things are not right.

Recently I was offered an advancement to a management position inside a large hi tech company.  I have tentatively accepted as its a great opportunity, but now I'm panicking.

I've very concerned because I'm SURE I will be coming out of the closet and transitioning.

I do have the option of passing on the promotion and staying a bit more non-visible, yet I'm not sure this is the right move either.  I would love for people at work to some day call me Megan, but I'm concerned that if I transition, being in the spot light will make things tougher.

Whats your take? what would you do?

[sam1234]

If you want to pass at work, go to your boss(s) and tell them that you are starting to transition and would like to be presented at work as Megan. This may work if you will be in a new building or someplace where the people you work with don't already see you as your body's gender.

Since you were already told you could have the position, by law they can't take it away if they do it just based on the fact that they don't like who you are.

Unless you and your wife attend any parties or other types of work related get togethers, that would allow you to pass at work if your bosses are cool.

Your bosses have to know simply because if you want your paychecks, they have to be in your current name.

sam1234

[AnonyMs]

Take it as it will give you more opportunity in the future, especially if you end up leaving for whatever reason. The more you can make of yourself the more protection you'll have against the hazards of life. Perhaps delay transition slightly to get settled in, or not, I don't know since I've not done it myself. I do believe in looking after yourself though, and not putting your life in the hands of others.

On the other hand, if they don't like you transitioning they will say you couldn't do the new job. While if you stayed in the old job they can hardly say you're not performing since you got offered the new one. Assuming you have any rights at work?

[megan7777]

Thanks all I can say is the company is from what I read LGBT friendly and actually a trail blazer in some ways. one company employee  is famous for being transgender, well they have their own Wikipedia page about them.

I'm not going to transition out publicly probably for 1-2 years if I have things my way. but it is anxiety none the less.

I suppose you are right though the more experience I have the more likely I can weather a storm down the road. Thanks for your thoughts and time.