I remember when I first started addressing my gender questions sometime last year, I believed that I won't be able to find any help around me for what I am going through.
My knowledge of trans people around me was limited to the following:
*** warning: possible misgendering, cliches or outdated terms used in many of these links ***
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hijra_%28South_Asia%29http://www.sify.com/finance/love-sex-change-and-betrayal-the-mafatlal-story-imagegallery-others-ljtp3afebjbsi.htmlhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_DarlingWith such limited info, I thought that I would either have to leave behind everything from my current life, or have to be a millionaire, or be a caricature in the entertainment industry, as seen in the examples in those three links respectively. None of these options seemed possible, obviously.
As I went along, I found some stories offering a little more hope, many of which are in this article:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2105066/Mocked-misunderstood-A-transexuals-plea-change-school-records-rejected-trial-court-highlighting-challenges-faced-community.htmlBut they were still about people who had had to make drastic changes, or who led very unconventional lives in some way.
I was still not convinced that someone like me with a more 'regular' life could successfully transition.
However, I have recently come across some stories with situations much closer to mine, such as these:
http://www.mid-day.com/articles/ceo-stuns-employee-with-heartwarming-letter-post-sex-change-operation/15582199http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/vadodara/Management-teacher-undergoes-sex-change/articleshow/14039885.cmshttp://indianexpress.com/article/india/india-others/just-like-a-woman/These stories tell me that trans people even here exist not just among a separate community, or the super-rich, or actors and models, writers and activists, or in other places I do not really relate to. But that they also exist in 'regular' jobs and lead 'regular' lives, much of which can be preserved even while transitioning. That it is possible for parents, friends, co-workers, employers and even pesky neighbors to be supportive. That institutions and organizations can become flexible and officially recognize your new identity even if they have never openly talked about such issues before. And in many of these examples, these people achieved all this even before the favorable judgment last year from our Supreme Court, and despite the still persistent homophobia here.
In a way, that last phrase about homophobia makes me pause and question myself again. After all, as far as I know, all these examples seem to fit the conventional hetero narrative in their 'new' gender identity, and none of them seem to have gone through this while also trying to preserve a marriage. That part still remains uncertain / unanswered. But at least it is good to know that there are others a little more like me around here. And I need not wait for someone exactly with my situation to show me the way. At some point, I have to find my own path ahead.
