So much frustration! (Peers not understanding)

[Matthew]

Well, now I'm officially out in the open, as to be expected, there's been a few issues. Nothing major, but things I find frustrating beyond belief.

Comments from little kids calling me a boy-girl, people telling me I'm a girl because of my body, comments saying how I'm a lesbian because my boyfriend is trans too, or even just 'she wants to be a boy' is impossible to deal with!

I'm lucky that there's been no serious issues, but small ignorant comments all the time drive me crazy.

Nothing angers me more than people putting labels onto me. Nobody can define my gender or my sexuality who isn't me, no matter what my body is, I am what I say I am, arguing that constantly is just ~urghhhh~

Rant over *breathes*

[suzifrommd]

Hugs Matt.

Don't know if it helps, but I always take ignorant comments as an opportunity to educate someone. If someone claims I'm a male because I was born to a male body, I ask them how they're so sure that someone's gender isn't wired into their brain, and that some people's gender is opposite their body sex.

Of course, I'm a teacher, so I live for that sort of thing.

[Matthew]

I attempted with the last conversation I had, which went a bit like:

Person: "Well, if you're really a girl and your girlfriend is a girl then you're a lesbian"
Me: "Me and my boyfriend both identify as male, which makes us a gay male couple"
Person: "Not really if you're both girls"

~le sigh~

[suzifrommd]

Person: "Well, if you're really a girl and your girlfriend is a girl then you're a lesbian"
Me: "Me and my boyfriend both identify as male, which makes us a gay male couple"
Person: "Not really if you're both girls"

Questions can be very powerful. Instead of "I identify as male," try "How can you be sure that I'm not a male who happens to have been born with a female body?"

[Matthew]

I'll do that one next time, thanks suzi

[sam1234]

When you are in school, it can seem like forever if you don't fit in. My high school years were full of comments. When I would walk by the jocks, they would jeer "here comes the quarterback". I didn't know about transitioning at the time, but wore guys clothes, walked like a guy, carried my books like a guy etc.

When I passed groups of girls, I'd hear "doesn't she know she is a girl?"

Even though they were meant to be insults, when I heard them they actually went a long way in making me feel good. They made me feel like the fact that I looked and acted like a guy was noticeable and therefore  was on the right track.

My point is that some insults can be turned around in your own mind and made into positive things. Not all of them, but some can. I think you have a lot of guts following your heart despite the pressure to belong that comes in high school and middle school. Be proud of who you and your girlfriend are and don't let the ignorance of some people weigh to heavily on your mind.

sam1234

[Tyler]

I'm sorry that people are so ignorant. Unfortunately, there will always be people like that, and it sucks. It's great that you are out and everything, and can finally live the life you want. Crossing my fingers that your experience will get better 

-Tyler

[Brandon]

As a highschooler you can't be sensitive, you gotta get alittle bit harder and ignore it, there are always gonna be people that judge or will always find something negative to say about you but again you gotta harden up a bit and people will respect you, I did and everyone see's me as a man and I get all the respect in the world.

[Devlyn]

Well, now I'm officially out in the open, as to be expected, there's been a few issues. Nothing major, but things I find frustrating beyond belief.

Comments from little kids calling me a boy-girl, people telling me I'm a girl because of my body, comments saying how I'm a lesbian because my boyfriend is trans too, or even just 'she wants to be a boy' is impossible to deal with!

I'm lucky that there's been no serious issues, but small ignorant comments all the time drive me crazy.

Nothing angers me more than people putting labels onto me. Nobody can define my gender or my sexuality who isn't me, no matter what my body is, I am what I say I am, arguing that constantly is just ~urghhhh~

Rant over *breathes*

Hang in there, Matt! Sometimes it's better to just let people think they're right. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Gabrielle_22]

I attempted with the last conversation I had, which went a bit like:

Person: "Well, if you're really a girl and your girlfriend is a girl then you're a lesbian"
Me: "Me and my boyfriend both identify as male, which makes us a gay male couple"
Person: "Not really if you're both girls"

~le sigh~

I'm sorry this is happening. Trans-identity is so little understood in general. If it helps, try explaining it with this: "Your sexual orientation is who you go to bed with; gender identity is who you go to bed as." I heard it a while back from someone but I forget who it was. Regardless, it's one of those great simple things that might explain it for the people who don't get it. Or tell them that sex is what's between your legs, and gender is what's between your ears, in your brain. It's more complex than that, obviously, but you need to start basic with some people. Good luck. Don't give into them.

[sam1234]

Matt,
sometimes I think kids in high school will pick on anyone who is different just for the sport of it. They also tend to hang out in groups, and the group mentality makes it easier for them to say things they might not say if they were alone. Adults might think the same thing, but by then, unless they are really boars, they just think it instead of saying it aloud.

There will always be people who are going to either question the validity of your gender, or just feel like mocking people who are not mainstream. After a while, you get used to it. Once you are able to get everything legalized, it will be up to you whether you want to tell people that you are transgendered or not. If you don't, chances are no one will even know. If you do choose to be active in demonstrations etc., then you have to expect some backlash.

Stick to your guns Matt. You know who you are and that is all that really matters. Its the ones with the big mouths that have the problem, not you.

sam1234