I CAME OUT TO ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

[YBtheOutlaw]

Although times are bleak and weary, there's always something that makes you happy to keep running. You might not be aware of my status- i've been out to just one faithful friend and no other soul, (here's the story-https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174319.msg1533150.html#msg1533150 ) UNTIL YESTERDAY!!!

This time the friend is someone I've been wanting to come out to for eons and was waiting for the right moment. He's a friend from my childhood, and moved away to canada, and we sorta reunited on fb few years back. One of the most open minded people i know, and the fact that he's living abroad gives me extra advantages such as extremely low risk of leaking the news, and that he's familiar with these concepts way more than those who live here.

wish i could share the conversation with you, but thats not possible through the phone. I'll surely do that once i log in through the computer. Until then here's a gist of it

We were talking about absurdities of societ, suggesting concepts for an imaginary society we'd like to live in. we wanted no race no religion no family no gender no bonds no judging etc etc. Then he said 'people have preconceived views of what others should or should not do'. It was now or never moment for me. I spilled out everything. And wow! His reactions were like, he had heard i have 5 fingers in each hand. now he thinks i should start some revolution of trans rights once i start college and believes that i could help thousands of people like me. Wow just wow. And the awkward feeling i had disappeared in no time and we were back to the same old tone of chatting almost immediately. At the end we were actually discussing how to get HIS life back on track (he was like upset with the subjects he has taken and is giving up on studies) i was the one who ended up giving life advices.

Also we're birthday twins so it makes my coming out even more cooler. It released so much of my pressure and however impossible it seems i now have actual hopes of a revolution. I'll let time decide that for now

[Orangaline]

Congrats! i couldnt read through the whole thing, (long story short i dissociate and makes me feel fuzzy limits cognitive abilities and such)  but from what i could read it sounds like this was a great step for you!

[sam1234]

Thats a true friend. Congradulations! It takes guts to do that. He is right, there are thousand of us out there. I have a feeling we bump into them fairly regularly and never know it. There comes a time when you either come out to your family or a good friend or it eats you alive, inside out.

This is also a chance to educate him if you can. Sure, its just one person, but we have to start somewhere. Dispelling all the bad informaion that people see in movies and on T.V. will take time, but I believe we will get there.

That should have a huge weight off your shoulders and give you someone to talk to face to face. I really hope you guys stay good friends, and you have someone to go throught he transition with.

sam1233

[YBtheOutlaw]

yea we're chatting right now. it's so awesome that i have to lie to one less person now. i don't meet him face to face though- he lives 15 time zones away. anyway it feels so liberating. and sorry i'm not going to post the conversation here- it's too long and very side-tracked. i told u we were discussing his life problems as well. yeah it's really cool. thanx guys. i think he'll stick with me even if i say i'm alien

[YBtheOutlaw]

Just updating you guys... this friend i came out to is doing a superb job and I'm feeling I've made another one of best decisions in my life. Coming out isn't so bad after all. I think i can now come out to most of my close friends when the need arises. The confidence has somehow grown in me. I still don't have the guts to tell my parents though.

Anyway i feel so good that i have a guy friend who knows my issue. He casually chats with me now, only mentions the trans issue when he's curious about something. Otherwise almost nothing has changed from his side, though I'm feeling so so liberated that i don't have to hide it anymore. And this is like the first time I'm getting involved in a guy-guy conversations and the stresses that kept me down last few months have faded. We talk about girls even, and this is the first time I'm getting to discuss freely about girls. About my crushes, about general attraction towards girls and all that. I'm working on a trans-themed novel and he's giving me ongoing reviews.

Most importantly he boosts my confidence. He thinks i can actually make a great change in our society and help out masses of people like me. He says i should fight for it. now that possibility feels like a responsibility to me, that it's my duty to someday help people like me in my country, educate our society. With that responsibility in hand i feel guilty about thinking about suicide when i feel bad. Even if the plans are not practical or realistic they give me hopes. Hopes to live, hopes to survive through my daily pains. I'm having way less suicidal ideation now. He doesn't know that he has convinced me to take a decision, to not give up my life without a fight. Even if i fall i will fall fighting. I will not give up on my life submitting to prickles.

[Lady Smith]

A good friend is worth their weight in gold. 

[awkward-shark]

I'm very glad you feel like that now. Your friend sounds like an awesome guy too. Last week I came out to an old friend of mine and it felt so... right! He started using the masculine form immediatly and I felt like now I could come out to whoever... but yeah, I'm still afraid to tell my parents.
Once again, I'm really happy you get to have such positivity in your life. Good luck with everything that's yet to come!