Going out on first date MTF

[JessieJ]

hi okay heres the thing.. I have been transitioning for just about 2 months.. im short 1 week of 2 months on hrt. I am growing my hair out.. But my hair is totally shorter than id like it. I met this guy online *OkCupid* known as OkStupid by some people haha. Well he is this sweet guy. He literally tells me everything id wish to hear. He eventually messaged me 'Ive been thinking of you all day, please, can we go out sometime?' He wants me to meet him at this tavern like next week. Im super nervous and super excited. I never truly went out full time yet and that will be my first time out. He knows im transgender!! He doesnt care.. He says to him.. I am a woman.. so that made me feel a little better. I am nervous because of 1. he wants to go out for drinks.. I am 22 im sure im gonna get ID and my ID is a male. 2. Getting clocked mean.. 3. Basically just going out full time for the first time. I am going out getting my eyebrows done, getting a wig, and a new outfit and bra.. im like totally into him and really want it to work out. I am just scared of basically not being any passable for the date.. in a public place..
Help? I could totally use a hug right about now...
http://s1060.photobucket.com/user/JessieShields/media/image%201_zpsfzu5lj4o.jpeg.html

[Laura_7]

I'd say relax... take your time...
this is about getting to know two people... their sense of humour... what they like and dislike...
well there might be slipups... but you could laugh them off...

I'd say enjoy the process... it doesn't have to be perfect, just be you


oh and have a hug

[suzifrommd]

Hugs Jessie. Yes, all of those things might happen. Or you might pass perfectly well, but hate him.

I've been dating lately after being married for more than 20 years. I've had to treat each date as an adventure and not attach any particular importance to any one date. Go out and have fun.

OK, enough of the pep talk. Now a word of caution. Anyone who says they've been thinking of you all day, but hasn't actually met you, has a problem with boundaries. Others may disagree, but IMO, if someone lets themselves have feelings that intense for someone they can't possibly know, that doesn't speak well for their stability. Please be safe.

[alexis.j]

Just relax and have fun!

[kittenpower]

Wow, first time out and it's with a date; seems like it may be a little challenging, but it's definitely doable. Best wishes 

[Ms Grace]

If this is likely to be your first time out in girl mode I'd suggest you try it a few times with friends first. Get the hang of it and get comfortable with yourself and your presentation. Only go to places where you are going to feel safe and have an exit strategy in case things go south. If being carded is an issue I'd suggest going to a place where this won't happen... first dates without alcohol are always safer anyway. Just be a little careful of guys that tell you everything you want to hear - some are sincere but others are not and you will need to discern the difference or you risk being used and disappointed.

I hope it's a great date though, have fun!

[chefskenzie]

you could also show up early and get carded for drinks before he arrived!

[Cindy]

I had two dates from OK Cupid, met them in coffee shops, nice and safe. First got the coffee poured in his crotch second I just stood up and walked out.

Be careful, they just wanted sex asap.

[Jenelle]

I have done a lot of online dating. While I haven't as transgender I feel this still applied. I have found it is never a good idea to meet up for drinks or dinner on the first meet. Go get coffee. Seriously. People (me included) come off very differently than now they do online.

[kittenpower]

Wow, first time out and it's with a date; seems like it may be a little challenging, but it's definitely doable. Best wishes 

Are you really sure, that it's a good idea to do this?  Maybe, you could give it a second thought; I just don't want you to have a bad experience. 

[Jo-is-amazing]

Ditto what Cindy said. Ive been on one date since starting transition and it became pretty clear from the get go that he wanted sex asap. I wish i could say that i left then and there, but after two more dates i relented and i gave him what he wanted, in the moment i even let him do things that i was definitely not comfortable with. despite that he never called me again.

As far as first times go it was terrible and id beg you not to make the same mistake i did .

[mac1]

Hugs Jessie. Yes, all of those things might happen. Or you might pass perfectly well, but hate him.

I've been dating lately after being married for more than 20 years. I've had to treat each date as an adventure and not attach any particular importance to any one date. Go out and have fun.

OK, enough of the pep talk. Now a word of caution. Anyone who says they've been thinking of you all day, but hasn't actually met you, has a problem with boundaries. Others may disagree, but IMO, if someone lets themselves have feelings that intense for someone they can't possibly know, that doesn't speak well for their stability. Please be safe.

I support this evaluation. Be careful.

Also you look female enough in that picture. If your ID says "M" and your picture on it doesn't match your current look you can have a problem in the bar. They may call the police on you.

[JessieJ]

Thank you! I am not sure i am going on a date with him. He changed it to.. lets meet at a park we can chill in my truck. sounds kinda sketchy.. I did get asked out by another gentlemen who wants to take me to the movies.. I feel that is a little easier.. a dark movie.. Also thank you all for the love and advice i appreciate it!  And thanks for saying i looked feminine i appreciate that.

[mac1]

Thank you! I am not sure i am going on a date with him. He changed it to.. lets meet at a park we can chill in my truck. sounds kinda sketchy.. I did get asked out by another gentlemen who wants to take me to the movies.. I feel that is a little easier.. a dark movie.. Also thank you all for the love and advice i appreciate it!  And thanks for saying i looked feminine i appreciate that.

You probably shouldn't trust either one of them.

[marsh monster]

sounds like they're both probably looking for a hand job or something...

[Brasileira]

Hey girls don't be so dramatic! I had only one online date and today I'm 1 year and 2 months married with the man I meet online. and incredible I know lot of people who met theirs lovers online, of course you should be always careful but before going on a date like this be prepared for all. What most of men are looking for?  sex, talking,  making friendship, he feels alone, he wants to try it out? And you what do you want? not only men can be bad also us   I was bad to many men already  They wanted romance I wanted sex, they wanted a long term relationship and I only have fun, so never be a victim learn to take advantage of all moments in your life we are women and it doesn't mean we have to angels, super sweet, always lovely or naive. I lived in Brazil and there men can be devils, when I learn to respect my self they were all in my hand, today I'm a very strong woman with a very high self confidence, I can have the man I want whenever is he straight or something else, I used to be weak   had no self confidence today I thank God for who I am.   And one advise a wig can make you look ridiculous and people would  make jokes of you, if you need make up to look more feminine go ahead but without exaggerating, you look feminine already even with short hair.

[chefskenzie]

I met my husband online.  Not all men are horrible pigs.  Many are, but not all.  Key is to be in a public place, and make sure people know where you are going to be.  Be smart, be safe.  Ignore those you think it is a horrible idea.  Do what feels right to you.