why do you think the majority of trans women are attracted to women

[ImagineKate]

What are you basing your assumption on? I've read that being attracted to women is far more common in people that transition later in life than it is in transsexuals in their teens/twenties

This could be because of life situations.

I'm really not attracted to women anymore now. I mean they look nice, but I see them and I think, "oh how cute, I like what she's wearing, maybe I can try that look." Not, "Oh damn I wanna be in bed with her."

However I am married to a woman and I love her, but this is despite her gender, not because of it.

Many older trans women are that way.

However I know a few older ones who are heterosexual, and they have been married too, some with kids (like me).

Deep down inside I have always fantasized being with a guy. Always. However as a guy I could never be gay. Being gay may be cool for some people and I really don't have a problem with gay people in general but it's not for me. So I dated women, married two of them and had children with one.

[23 Skidoo]

I'm attracted to women because I find them preferential over men, but from my experience while it's much more evenly split than the general populace, I'd say a majority of trans women lean towards men.

[antonia]

To confirm what some others have said, it's largely an age thing.

Trans women who are exclusively attracted to men tend to transition earlier, and have an easier time blending in and honestly most never show up on boards like this or other trans events, they just go live their live

[Rejennyrated]

Well there is some decent medical research which indicates that a lot more women than men have some degree of latent bisexuality. It has been hypothesised that women are naturally programmed to be flexible in their attractions so that in the absence of a suitable male they can still form tightly bonded family units with each other. This theory goes on to suggest that this capability lies latent in almost all women, but that most do not express it largely for social reasons. Thus the exceptions would be those women who are NOT flexible in this way. Using this research I could turn this on its head and ask "why are some transwomen not bisexual?"

The point I'm actually trying to make is that these sorts of questions are usually not terriby helpful, because they often come loaded with value judgements about moraility, social acceptability, and what might be considered as normal. Indeed if I was being very unkind I could even wonder if the hidden agenda behind such a question might be "are a lot transwomen actually sexually wired up more like hetrosexual males?" Or to put it another way are some transwomen more "genuinely female" than others? Which of course would be a rather unhelpful, not to say hurtful thing to ask.

So personally I think there are some questions which are probably better left unasked and/or unanswered, this is probably one of them.

Oh and PS - I've always been bisexual... transition had nothing to do with that at all. I was bi in my teens, it didn't change by my early twenties when I had transitioned.

[Dee Marshall]

I was actually more bisexual prior to HRT. Slowly I've changed to be more of a lesbian. I find male behavior unattractive, although physically I appreciate both. My erotica preferences have settled pretty solidly on lesbian. For my own relationships, (theoretically, as I dearly love Sweetie) the body doesn't matter to me, but the brain and behavior has to be feminine.

[evecrook]

nice picture

[Dee Marshall]

Me? That's me 40 years ago.

[mac1]

My earliest recollection of thinking I should have been a girl must have been around the time I was 9 years old. Possibly even younger but I can't be sure.  However, I have never been attracted to guys.

If I could transition I would still want to be with my  wife    and can't see me having any sexual  interest in men. It would just be nice to be able to live as a woman in all respects. However, I might possibly consider trying sex with a guy given the right opportunity just to see what it is like.

[androgynouspainter26]

Well, personally I think my gender transition has helped me realize that gender really isn't something that matters to me when I think about love.  I thought I was a gay guy during high school; since my transition (and staeting HRT, this should debunk the whole BS "HRT changes your orientation" myth) I've mostly dated women.  It doesn't have so much to do with what sex or gender I prefer, it's just that A. I happen to dislike excessive body/facial hair, and B. I tend to be more compatible with women personality-wise.  I have a hard time dating people who won't be willing to respect the fact that I want to be equals, and men-well, in our society it's hard to find a man who isn't intimidated by someone who wants to be his PARTNER, not his GIRLFRIEND.  I don't know.  If I passed a bit better (hopefully I will once my hair grows out) I'd probably date more men, but it's just rarer for me to find a guy I'm into.  It's really not about sexual orientation for me though...it's just who I tend to *click* with.  I should probably add that I'm pretty much asexual; I'll have sex if someone wants it, but it doesn't really interest me. 

So, yeah-transitioning has made me more aware of just how inconsequential gender really is, and I've just sort of...disregarded it.  I've fallen in love with guys, I've fallen in love with girls, and I've fallen in love with folks who aren't either.  After what I've been through, the differences seem like pretty small ones.

[evecrook]

I really don't know why I'm like what I am as far as my sexual interests are , but men really turn me on ever since around 6 or 7. I had a boy friend at 6 and it felt good. I love all aspects of women too. I think my brain is perfectly divided between my attraction for men and women. I fantasize an incredible amount about being with men as a woman, but I hate the idea of gay sex. I can see being with a woman , but I don't know if I view it as gay sex.

[Zoetrope]

I think that it's somewhat unrealistic to seek a man that can love one of us as a cis-woman.

If a guy can, that is great. He's a pretty unique man in that case.

But I believe that what we really need, is to be loved as a transsexual.

One needs to be loved for *all* that they are. If it is an image of us that is loved, that is superficial, and cannot last.

[androgynouspainter26]

I think that it's somewhat unrealistic to seek a man that can love one of us as a cis-woman.

If a guy can, that is great. He's a pretty unique man in that case.

But I believe that what we really need, is to be loved as a transsexual.





One needs to be loved for *all* that they are. If it is an image of us that is loved, that is superficial, and cannot last.

Can't we just be loved as PEOPLE?  Or is finding someone who flat out doesn't care that unreasonable.

[Eva]

Yea I don't want to be loved because Im a ->-bleeped-<-, "transition" implies M to F, not M to T which means the goal for me anyway is to be loved and thought of as a woman Of course I haven't found a guy yet who wants anything more than to use me for sex so there's that The only way I could imagine that is if it was with another trans woman but even then I doubt she would want to be thought of as anything less than a woman either... Im not really attracted to other pre or non op trans women though... Id think a lesbian relationship between two post op trans women would be pretty rare.... Might be fun though

[Zoetrope]

Of course, I don't mean to be loved for being trans. I mean, to be loved, the other knowing we are trans.

As you can probably gather from my other posts, being open and honest about who and what we are is a big deal to me.

[ana1111]

Well there is some decent medical research which indicates that a lot more women than men have some degree of latent bisexuality. It has been hypothesised that women are naturally programmed to be flexible in their attractions so that in the absence of a suitable male they can still form tightly bonded family units with each other. This theory goes on to suggest that this capability lies latent in almost all women, but that most do not express it largely for social reasons. Thus the exceptions would be those women who are NOT flexible in this way. Using this research I could turn this on its head and ask "why are some transwomen not bisexual?"

The point I'm actually trying to make is that these sorts of questions are usually not terriby helpful, because they often come loaded with value judgements about moraility, social acceptability, and what might be considered as normal. Indeed if I was being very unkind I could even wonder if the hidden agenda behind such a question might be "are a lot transwomen actually sexually wired up more like hetrosexual males?" Or to put it another way are some transwomen more "genuinely female" than others? Which of course would be a rather unhelpful, not to say hurtful thing to ask.

So personally I think there are some questions which are probably better left unasked and/or unanswered, this is probably one of them.

Oh and PS - I've always been bisexual... transition had nothing to do with that at all. I was bi in my teens, it didn't change by my early twenties when I had transitioned.

well I do think your right that women in general are more sexually fluid or less fixated on the physical...but that's different then saying they would equally prefer women or prefer them to men...as far as saying theres a "hidden agenda" behind my question no not really its more of a "i feel like I can't always relate as much or have as much in common to some transwomen and this is one reason why" and also im generally curious..as far as whether im asking if "some trans women are sexually wired up more like heterosexual males" I guess I do kinda wonder that in a sense..wasn't trying to imply that being lesbian makes you any less of a woman but they have done some studies that show that lesbians have perhaps had more testosterone exposure in the whom then straight women as evidenced by brain scans and things like figure digit ratio...this is of interest https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200506/sexuality-your-telltale-fingertips
anyways I don't know why its always a competition about whos more woman in the trans community...im sure some would say im less woman cause im undecided on whether I will get or even want bottom surgery but I don't really care... im me and I feel I am a woman and as long as that's what me my partner and close friends see that's all that matters and it should be the same for lesbian trans women

[ana1111]

I think that it's somewhat unrealistic to seek a man that can love one of us as a cis-woman.

If a guy can, that is great. He's a pretty unique man in that case.

But I believe that what we really need, is to be loved as a transsexual.

One needs to be loved for *all* that they are. If it is an image of us that is loved, that is superficial, and cannot last.

agree completely...and I tried making this point in another thread...what it comes down to though is if you see being transsexual or having a penis as making you not "really a woman" than your never going to be happy with someone in a relationship even if your partner thinks of you as a woman simply because you still don't see yourself as a woman and feel being seen as a trans woman makes you less of a woman....if that made any sense at all...

[Zoetrope]

agree completely...and I tried making this point in another thread...what it comes down to though is if you see being transsexual or having a penis as making you not "really a woman" than your never going to be happy with someone in a relationship ...

I'm with you there too Anna. Thanks for making me feel less like the odd-one-out! :~D

[FrancisAnn]

I sure do not know however it's suprisng to me. I love women friends to shop with, talk about life with, compare recipes with however I've always loved to be with a man.  Sometimes I feel out of place here, there seem to be so few members that like men. For me it is so nice to completely enjoy being a woman with a strong man & fully enjoy your feminity.

[ana1111]

I sure do not know however it's suprisng to me. I love women friends to shop with, talk about life with, compare recipes with however I've always loved to be with a man.  Sometimes I feel out of place here, there seem to be so few members that like men. For me it is so nice to completely enjoy being a woman with a strong man & fully enjoy your feminity.

ya like it feels like a yin and yang thing...like the other completes you because his qualities are a lot different than yours... but I suppose it could be that way in a same gender relationship too but I often see in the gay community lots of "masculine" gay guys that only like other masculine ones so that's not really how most same gender relationships seem to be but to each there own and no one persons version of reality works for everyone

[Dee Marshall]

FrancisAnn, I think it's mostly older trans people are more likely to be lesbians and we're more chatty, but please remember that our sergeant-major, our dear Cindy is as straight as an arrow,... except for her curves! I myself have no problem with men sexually, I just can't have a relationship with one.


p.s.: You have no idea how much I want to call you "Franny Annie"!