Facebook causing some severe issues (possible tw? I think?)

[StrykerXIII]

It's hard to look at my news feed on facebook these days...I'm friends with four other transwomen, and all of them are publicly out and in various stages of transition. I want to be supportive and cheer them on no matter what, but...there's a part of me that envies them so strongly that it's making me bitter. I've already spoken with one, and she said that I just need to go full-time to resolve those feelings. Well, that's just not an option right now...how can I cope with this level of jealousy? I can only assume it's normal to feel this way, but...how do I keep it from consuming me and causing me to lash out at the people I care about? I love all four of these women, and I don't want to hurt them just because I'm being selfish...

[Jill F]

You are not being selfish.  There are as many ways to be trans as there are transpeople.  What works for one of us works for one of us.  You need to transition at the pace that works for you and your own situation.  In the grand scheme, who cares if you are a few months behind your friends?  It's all about the long haul anyway.

hugs, Jill

[LoriLorenz]

Maybe you can't go full time yet. I am stealth and not able to come out on FB myself for a variety of reasons, just do what little things you can. I had a female friend tell me that when she felt down she would wear her sexiest undergarments. No one knew but her, but it made a world of difference for her. For my part as FtM, I feel better wearing my boy shorts than the girly unders!

[Zoetrope]

I understand as I used to feel the same.

In retrospect though - I can tell you this is nothing to be envious of.

Transitioning is hard, hard work - emotionally and socially.

I would spend this time preparing yourself for the time ahead, getting as ready within yourself as you can. Get as much support as you can, start gathering allies *in real life*. You will need this.

Never mind other people's journeys. Yours will be unique, and possibly the biggest thing you will ever do.

[Ms Grace]

I understand where the envy comes from but maybe consider how you can turn that into joy for them instead. What they're going through now? You'll be there some day, maybe some day soon. And when you are I hope they remember the support you gave them and repay it back in kind. Meanwhile someone else will probably be envious of you!! If you can't change that feeling maybe a vacation from Facebook is in order, I swear taking even a week off can make you change your outlook on the world!

[Squircle]

I'm currently on an fb sabbatical, and to be honest I'm thinking of leaving for good. I've felt so much better about a whole load of stuff, I don't have the constant drip feed of bull****, and I'm able to concentrate on my own life rather than reacting to what someone wants to advertise about their's.

in this case facebook is making you feel worse about yourself, and as you've acknowledged the problem is with you not anyone else, but I think what you are feeling is a fairly common side effect of the digital age that a lot of people struggle with. Just give yourself a break and take stock, before you know it you'll be on your way with your own transition and will feel more capable of seeing others success without it highlighting what's missing in your own life.

[katrinaw]

Try and not get emotional about it, it will happen for you. Everyone of us have to do this at our own pace. Remember also that FB and other online social media' seem to Amplify feelings, emotions, why can't I be like them syndromes... As mentioned maybe a hiatus from FB and other mediums? After all they become an obsession a lot of the time... I have days where I don't even scan FB, Twitter, LinkedIn etc... Just too hard to not get involved...

Take care of yourself.... Hugs

L Katy 

[mrs izzy]

Everyone's transition is there own and take suggestions as helpful criticism only. Apply what you can to help you move forward in life.

I will conclude the fact that lots of stress falls away after full time but is replace with its own new struggles that need to be overcome.

Sad we just can not change a coat and all is well.

Supportive suggestions are what you need to weed out of others journeys.

Hugs

[StrykerXIII]

I have been using their own posts about their transitions as a theoretical "what to expect" type thing. I know everyone transitions differently, everyone has different experiences, but it does give me a general idea. Honestly...it's making me a little nervous. The biggest thing that worries me is that one of them stated her metabolism was slowing down. I can't afford for that to happen to me...as a diabetic with a family history of heart disease, weight gain is pretty dangerous.

[Damara]

I have this intense jealousy at times as well.. especially girls with really feminine bodies..  and I've been living full time for about half a year! Maybe once I get on hormones soooon I'll feel better. I agree the looking at it as a positive for the person helps a lot! I am happy for my sisters! But still feel these jealousy pangs..