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Divorce is final as of this morning

Started by Dodie, March 30, 2015, 01:55:40 PM

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Dodie

March 30, 2015, 01:55:40 PM
Well, my wife and I divorced this morning.. we are together all the time but now she is free.. She is not gay so she wants a dude and I don't blame her a bit.
We rode together to the courthouse.. I kept upbeat because she was emotional and she did not want to hurt me..
I told her.. I was imprisoned for so long as a dude... now I am free.. its time to set you free to have a new wonderful beginning...
I know she will find a wonderful person at some point and be happy.. can't wait to see her smiling in the future..
We will and always have been so close.. we are family, we love each other dearly... we work together, shop together and enjoy friends together.
I did not even get an attorney and told her attorney which I dearly love that I appreciated her handling the case and taking care of my wife.
So, its done.. now we can move on to our new journeys.. knowing the part that says to death do us part still stands. I will always be there for her.. always!

I don't know why but suddenly I am feeling completely comfortable being female.. just so natural now.. love going out and being real.
I will admit.. its hard... we cried a lot last night just thinking of all we have done together.
But we did have a 33 year marriage and I am proud of what I was able to do and overcome.
Dodie
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LordKAT

#1
March 30, 2015, 02:03:36 PM
I think that is the calmest divorce post I have ever read. I'm glad you parted on good terms, if you must part.  Hugs, it is still an ending of something that you valued.
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Mariah

#2
March 30, 2015, 02:06:47 PM
I'm happy for both of you. It's sounds like both you have grown as this drew closer and that this turned out to be a positive experience. Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: Dodie on March 30, 2015, 01:55:40 PM
Well, my wife and I divorced this morning.. we are together all the time but now she is free.. She is not gay so she wants a dude and I don't blame her a bit.
We rode together to the courthouse.. I kept upbeat because she was emotional and she did not want to hurt me..
I told her.. I was imprisoned for so long as a dude... now I am free.. its time to set you free to have a new wonderful beginning...
I know she will find a wonderful person at some point and be happy.. can't wait to see her smiling in the future..
We will and always have been so close.. we are family, we love each other dearly... we work together, shop together and enjoy friends together.
I did not even get an attorney and told her attorney which I dearly love that I appreciated her handling the case and taking care of my wife.
So, its done.. now we can move on to our new journeys.. knowing the part that says to death do us part still stands. I will always be there for her.. always!

I don't know why but suddenly I am feeling completely comfortable being female.. just so natural now.. love going out and being real.
I will admit.. its hard... we cried a lot last night just thinking of all we have done together.
But we did have a 33 year marriage and I am proud of what I was able to do and overcome.
Dodie
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  •  

Dodie

#3
March 30, 2015, 02:21:23 PM
Thanks Girls..
We are getting ready to go shopping and eat a late lunch... we have been working our tails off this morning after we got home from court.. think we will take the rest of the day off and enjoy each other..
During our 33 year marriage I never said an unkind word about her.. I built her up.. held her up and wanted her to always be happy..
Even as a trans person I was able to cope and make lemonade out of lemons but I did suffer.. every day.. but not all the time.. I have had a happy life.
Now I am even happier.. nothing to hide from the world or myself...

Its not an easy thing to transition... I decided to go public with my transition to help others..to pave a path for others as others did for us.  I hope I can make a difference for our community..
Dodie
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ainsley

#4
March 30, 2015, 02:46:13 PM
WOW!  Sorry to hear about the end of your marriage.  So happy to hear about the start of both of your lives, though!
Some people say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.

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  •  

ImagineKate

#5
March 30, 2015, 03:09:07 PM
Well I guess I will say congratulations because this is clearly what both of you want, and truth be told being happy is the most important thing.

  •  

mrs izzy

#6
March 30, 2015, 03:31:34 PM
Glad that step is complete and as you said you all are free to be free.

Hugs
Mrs. Izzy
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  •  

evecrook

#7
March 30, 2015, 03:59:01 PM
good you found a peaceful path
  •  

Beth Andrea

#8
March 30, 2015, 04:17:19 PM
Congratulations to both of you, may each find joy in your futures!
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Rachel

#9
March 30, 2015, 05:02:32 PM
Hi Dodie,

From your posts, your family is very close. You and you wife should be commended for how you conduct yourself and are a wonderful example for your children. I am sorry the marriage ended and at the same time happy your both are friends and able to pursue happiness, hugs Cynthia.
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  •  

StrykerXIII

#10
March 30, 2015, 05:22:29 PM
Dodie, you're a beautiful soul. You set yourself free, and now you want her to be able to do the same...that's absolutely beautiful. A lot of people in this world could take a lesson or two from you, hun.  :icon_hug:
To strive to reach the apex of evolution is folly, for to achieve the pinnacle is to birth a god.

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BunnyBee

#11
March 30, 2015, 07:53:04 PM
Quote from: Dodie on March 30, 2015, 01:55:40 PM
Well, my wife and I divorced this morning.. we are together all the time but now she is free.. She is not gay so she wants a dude and I don't blame her a bit.
We rode together to the courthouse.. I kept upbeat because she was emotional and she did not want to hurt me..
I told her.. I was imprisoned for so long as a dude... now I am free.. its time to set you free to have a new wonderful beginning...
I know she will find a wonderful person at some point and be happy.. can't wait to see her smiling in the future..
We will and always have been so close.. we are family, we love each other dearly... we work together, shop together and enjoy friends together.
I did not even get an attorney and told her attorney which I dearly love that I appreciated her handling the case and taking care of my wife.
So, its done.. now we can move on to our new journeys.. knowing the part that says to death do us part still stands. I will always be there for her.. always!

I don't know why but suddenly I am feeling completely comfortable being female.. just so natural now.. love going out and being real.
I will admit.. its hard... we cried a lot last night just thinking of all we have done together.
But we did have a 33 year marriage and I am proud of what I was able to do and overcome.
Dodie

This is very beautiful and the beauty made me cry :)
  •  

Lady Smith

#12
March 30, 2015, 08:06:00 PM
Quote from: BunnyBee on March 30, 2015, 07:53:04 PM
This is very beautiful and the beauty made me cry :)

I agree, it put tears in my eyes too :)

I wept after my divorce came through.  I think it was mostly because one more door had closed behind me and the future ahead of me was unknown.
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Dodie

#13
March 30, 2015, 08:18:30 PM
Oh Girls so sorry I am just now responding.. We went to the mall to shop and eat..... and are even together doing nails tonight..
I wanted to be strong for her.. she has been through enough pain.
Reading your reactions made me cry just now.. I appreciate the kind and sympathetic things that you all said and want you all to know.. I love you.. and I hope you all love yourselves as special humans,
I wish you all peace love  health and happiness.
Dodie
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Cindy

#14
March 30, 2015, 09:06:26 PM
Dear Dodie,
A late reply.

Please do give your ex our love and support from the Susan Forum and we wish her and you, long, happy wonderful lives.

Cindy
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Dodie

#15
March 30, 2015, 11:15:08 PM
Cindy I will certainly do that!
With love
Dodie
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Eva Marie

#16
March 30, 2015, 11:18:52 PM
Dodie-

My ex and I did basically the same thing except she had moved to another state so we did it long distance. My feelings were the same as you, and we also did not lawyer up and go after each other. We have daughters and neither one of us wanted to model that kind of hateful behavior to them.

I saw her for the first time two weeks ago after a year of us being divorced (and it was the first time she has ever seen me in female mode) and we had a really nice visit. We were married for 27 years and like you I would lend a hand if she needed it. I discovered that I have no feelings for her any longer which kind of surprised me a little.

It sounds like you two have worked everything out to the positive. I won't lie - there is a potential emotional element lurking in all of this - my ex's first steps away from me stung (like when I found out she had moved in with a guy) and I had to do some mental gymnastics to come to a place where I was OK with that. Knowing that I was divorced was another bad day. My advice to you is to be prepared in case you unexpectedly find yourself on an emotional roller coaster some day.

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Dodie

#17
March 31, 2015, 10:46:46 AM
Eva,
Yes I get that.  I know it will bother me when I see her with a guy.. but I am ok.. I like guys now... but still the male lurks inside.. missing in some ways the old life.. but I just cherish all the fun we had and am so happy just being me..
Thanks for the advise.. I am sure more tears are to follow.... but also so much joy too.
Dodie
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