So my dad said that he thinks that I grew up this way maybe because he's not been close to me (my parents divorced), but something that really made me angry was him comparing his life to mine, and saying that my life will probably be worst, when he married three women, and had children with all of them, and doesn't give a ->-bleeped-<-. I hate him so much, and then he's like, so your mom told me that you use the money I sent for christmas or your birthday to buy for foolish feminine things, and I don't even ask money from him, it's like he should just be that way, plus I really can't get myself to talk, especially since I was not ready to talk about it, he asked me from when did I like guys, but I don't, why do people always think that, it's not about that. My mom thinks that too, I don't like guys, I told her, but I think she doesn't believe me, what the hell.
My sister told me that maybe if I wasn't so distant from them all the times because she says that I isolate myself really often, than they might get round accepting this more, but that's bull->-bleeped-<-. Religion is the reason they always use, so that's the thing. You know I was actually surprise my dad said something about God, I know he was born catholic, and then turned Muslim to marry my mom, and now I think he's catholic again or something, but it's not like he goes to Church every Sunday, I mean that's not really religious, so that way weird.
Now I got on hormones secretly hoping that my mom doesn't take them away again, if she does I will leave this house, I can't deal with all the abuse, etc... I actually made a recording of her while she was beating me and talking bad about me.
