Reactions to using one's original voice

[KouheiRen]

Hi everyone!
I'm genderfluid, and I just came out as such to everyone that sees my Facebook posts and received an overwhelmingly positive/neutral reaction (98%).
Because of the support and okay-ness I've received from my community I've been considering starting HRT (MtF, essentially) to better align my body with what I how I want it to look, which is extremely feminine.

Here's the problem: My dream job is being a high school music teacher. And to successfully do that I will have to speak loudly and sing in what will be an obviously male voice (I'm a bass).

I've come to terms that there is no way around using the deep side of my voice in the classroom. So my question to you all is "How do people react when you're presenting as female and use a male voice?"
I know every where and every class will be different, and I'm okay with anecdotes. And please don't hold back, as I need a good reality check here. Thank so much! (:

[Tessa James]

Welcome to Susan's,

I am one  of those that has changed my voice only slightly in transition and feel content with where I am and how I am treated most of the time.  This means I may still get a 'sir' on the phone or that I am read/clocked as trans more readily than some with a feminine voice.  Prior to transition I accepted that my late in life start and minimal interest in FFS and total GCS etc was likely to mean being far less 'passable' and that works OK for me too. I think we must expect that the dissonance or awkward feeling others may have about our appearance and voice is part of that instant read and response people have about gender, race and other potential triggers for bias.   IMO it is your comfort level and goals that are the deciding factors in what course to take.  This site has a wealth of participants who have shared their experiences with speech therapy, vocal cord surgery and training that have worked well for them.  I have met a number of trans women with successfully changed voices but have no knowledge of those special details of voice projection and singing.  I would love to have a beautiful soprano singing voice but I hit those notes for the last time around age 12   I have worked with a speech pathologist but found I was not doing the homework and felt a philosophical resistance about "my voice" in the broader context of identity vs range, pitch and such.

My guess is that, like my experience, people around you will adapt to your changes and those that matter will support you while those that object won't matter--to badly paraphrase someones signature line

[Beverly]

So my question to you all is "How do people react when you're presenting as female and use a male voice?"

Badly

I know every where and every class will be different, and I'm okay with anecdotes. And please don't hold back, as I need a good reality check here. Thank so much! (:

I found that voice was the most strongly triggering thing for people. Even more so than appearance or beard shadow. If you had a man's voice then no matter how you looked or dressed or moved, you were a man. You would get "sir"ed every time.

As such I put a lot of work into my female voice and it paid off. I never get "sir" on the phone or in real-life. Thanks to my voice I pass even with small children. It is that strong a trigger.

However, I found that if I used my male voice for just a sentence or two, or for a bit of fun to freak people out, then my female voice was damaged. It took several hours to get back into my female range. In short, the two could not coexist. I know of two people who can mix their voices but I cannot.

Now, after several years, I cannot do a male voice any more. Someone challenged me to do so and I felt that most of the block was mental, in my head rather than a physical issue, but it seems I was wrong. My muscles have got used to their new positions and new ways of working. My chest resonance is dead and I cannot get it back. I probably could with more years of practice but it is not switch-on-off-able. I cannot simply swap between them.

Why can you not learn to sing in a female register? Female teachers can be heard in class and they can even sing.

[ImagineKate]

I've come to terms that there is no way around using the deep side of my voice in the classroom. So my question to you all is "How do people react when you're presenting as female and use a male voice?"
I know every where and every class will be different, and I'm okay with anecdotes. And please don't hold back, as I need a good reality check here. Thank so much! (:

I get called "sir" even after people greet me as "ma'am" or miss. One grocery store clerk did this to me and she said she called me sir because she "didn't realize I was a man." I said I'm not, and I told her I'm trans. She said she wouldn't have known if it wasn't for my voice. I really don't think I need to be telling random strangers I'm trans.

If this doesn't bother you go for it. If it does look into training or surgery.

I hate my male voice. I am fed up of making the choice between being clocked and staying silent. Most times I try to avoid talking because I feel like crap when people clock me. So it's getting changed surgically this summer.

[KouheiRen]

Why can you not learn to sing in a female register? Female teachers can be heard in class and they can even sing.

Unlike talking, when someone is singing it is clear what their natural range is. Timbre changes are subtle to most, but certainly not to high school choral students. So even if I could learn to sing in a higher range I'd be pegged as not belonging there naturally.

[Beverly]

Unlike talking, when someone is singing it is clear what their natural range is. Timbre changes are subtle to most, but certainly not to high school choral students. So even if I could learn to sing in a higher range I'd be pegged as not belonging there naturally.

If you go around singing with a male voice you will be "pegged" in any case and I doubt you will spend all your time singing. Most interaction in life is likely to be with other people,  non students.

I also disagree with you. I know two MTFs who sing, one in amateur opera and one in a choir. Both use their female voice.

[cindy16]

I have this same question. Though my job has nothing to do with music, it can involve a lot of talking (phone calls, meetings, interviews, presentations etc), and I have a very deep voice.
I can mimic female voices but they sound too caricaturish right now. I don't think I can sing in those voices or even talk for more than a few lines at a stretch.
I wonder whether even the most trans*friendly work places are good enough for someone with a changing voice or a voice which doesn't match their presentation to be able to work smoothly. 

[Beverly]

I don't think I can sing in those voices or even talk for more than a few lines at a stretch.

It takes practice. Constant use and practice. For months to get reasonable and for years to get really natural.

I wonder whether even the most trans*friendly work places are good enough for someone with a changing voice or a voice which doesn't match their presentation to be able to work smoothly. 

I agree. Voice is the strongest trigger I have come across. People can gender you without even seeing you and then they will have a hard job changing their mind. Once they put you in a "gender box" in their head you tend to stay there.

[cindy16]

It takes practice. Constant use and practice. For months to get reasonable and for years to get really natural.

I know, and practice is not a problem in itself, it's practicing and still having to use a halfway-there voice at work that I am afraid of.

[iKate]

I agree. Voice is the strongest trigger I have come across. People can gender you without even seeing you and then they will have a hard job changing their mind. Once they put you in a "gender box" in their head you tend to stay there.

Not only that but it is often the swing vote if there is any doubt as to your gender. Use it in your favour.

[Aazhie]

I feel like I should probably get a voice coach as I tend to waver between really girly and randomly deep if I am thinking about it. The main reason it bugs me is more that I sounds like another transguy I know and I would rather not be confused with him :C  Otherwise, no one really seems to say anything one way or another.  I am a gay guy and most of my male friends are gay or very accepting and casual about gender roles, so until I am talking on the phone or in another city or state I don't think of it as much personally :/  I do kind of want to train myself out of the boyish excitement but not for passing reasons, its the mixup factor that weirds me out

[bibilinda]

It takes practice. Constant use and practice. For months to get reasonable and for years to get really natural.

I agree. Voice is the strongest trigger I have come across. People can gender you without even seeing you and then they will have a hard job changing their mind. Once they put you in a "gender box" in their head you tend to stay there.

Hello, would you care to share some tips for voice practice, please? I've been practicing my fem voice for years and it still sounds inauthentic. I don't think i have achieved even "reasonable" as of yet.

Cheers

Bibi B.

[Ms Grace]

Hi!

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Voice is a personal things and how much you might be able to alter it when speaking or singing may be dependent on a number of factors. You need to speak in a way that is comfortable to you and which sounds natural and does not potentially damage your vocal cords. That said, if there is a number one way that people feel they are identified as trans it would most usually be their voice. So if you are singing bass and talking loud in a deep voice there will be a chance people will identify you as trans. If that is not an issue for you then all good, but if so you may need to look into voice training with a speech therapist (that's what I did with reasonable results although I can speak non-stop for an hour with no strain I lose a lot of volume).

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Cheers

Grace