There was a panel at a con I went to where people shared their stories of living as trans or bi.
One person said something that really rang true for me and so I thought I would share 'Its like cats and boxes. A cat would be really happy and content to sit in a box they chose themselves, but if you try to put that same cat in a box they would not be happy in it and would leave it as soon as they can.'
How we define ourselves to our selves is our box. We found it, made it our own and are content with it.
I personally found that I am male, and identify more strongly with the idea of samurai and knights, quiet warriors that know what is important and what beauty is, even if you have to persevere through many hardships to experience it. For about a year and a half I got to participate in keno club at my school, and since our sensei encouraged a lot of inner thinking and meditation while going through practice it helped make this definition I found for myself even more of a home.
I observe and listen rather than speak needlessly (also my voice does not sound how I picture it should), which makes people put me in all kinds of boxes like 'shy', 'introverted'..etc. And of course since for a few reasons I cant physically transition I get put in the 'female' box most often.
I feel offended by these boxes since they are not the ones I found, they do not reflect my personality, they feel alienating and its a very uneasy feeling. If someone important to me does that its more sad, since they are not seeing the full picture, and are not interacting with the real me.
Same as with cats these things are true: do try to find which one is our favorite and we feel happy about, dont take it away from us, dont try to replace it with a box you think is more suitable. We would know it is not the same.
