The story of two transgender children

[suzifrommd]

The story of two transgender children

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-32037397

By Victoria Derbyshire
April 7, 2015

The number of children aged 10 and under who have been referred to NHS support services to help deal with transgender feelings has more than quadrupled in the last six years, the Victoria Derbyshire programme has learned. Here is the story of two of the youngest transgender children in the UK - with permission from their parents and with the support of the children's schools.

[Asche]

I can't help feeling a little envious, but also happy that at least some children won't have to go through what we went through.

I was born in a time when the Received Wisdom of the Experts was that child-rearing was about suppressing children's impulses and feelings and getting them to be "adjusted" by acting and feeling the way they were supposed to; the most obvious example being "scheduled feeding," where mothers were told to feed their babies according to a rigid schedule and if they "gave in" by feeding them earlier because they cried, they would ruin them for life.  (I remember women of my mother's generation talking about how distressing it was to have to let their babies cry until the scheduled feeding time rolled around, and how they felt like failures if they gave in and fed them anyway.)  The idea of "giving in" to a child's demand for gender-inappropriate toys, clothing, etc., would have been universally condemned as child abuse.

Actually, this attitude hasn't exactly died, but fortunately, there are more and more parents like these, who respect their children enough to listen to their needs.  I only wish that had happened when I was that age....

[suzifrommd]

Transgender kids: 'Everyone was calling me Sebastian, but I knew I was a girl'

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/apr/05/transgender-kids-children-change-sex-families

Elizabeth Day
Saturday 4 April 2015

Camille is one of a growing number of children who experience gender dysphoria – the belief that there is a mismatch between their biological sex and their gender identity. It is estimated that between 2% and 5% of the population experience some form of this, although statistical analysis is patchy.

[suzifrommd]

The article in the guardian talks about how anyone who spends time in her company would not the child is really a girl.

Is anyone else troubled by this? The notion that certainty of one's gender identity rests on how believable their presentation is? Especially a young child?

[Lady Smith]

The article in the guardian talks about how anyone who spends time in her company would not the child is really a girl.

Is anyone else troubled by this? The notion that certainty of one's gender identity rests on how believable their presentation is? Especially a young child?

Yes it does worry me.  How much is feminine enough to be considered seriously?  I certainly had gender issues when I was very young.  If I got a erection I would hit it and twist it until it stopped because I didn't like it at all.  On one occasion I even hid away in the playhouse Dad had built for my sister and I and hit my penis hard with my Dad's hammer.  I discovered at an early age that I could roll my penis up on itself and tuck it inside me which I really liked, but before too long it would become untucked and stick out again.  (I am on the intersex spectrum).
In my early years at primary school I much preferred playing with girls my own age, but of course that got me called a sissy and picked on by boys.  As one does at a young age I learned that doing certain things that boys weren't supposed to do would get you bashed up so I did my best to conform with everybody's expectations.
Would I have tried to talk to my parents about any of this? - In a word, 'No', - I wasn't silly I knew that my Dad in particular would get grumpy with me if I wasn't being the way he wanted me to be and even at that early age men and other boys always made me feel frightened.  My Dad was a good man and he certainly loved me, but he was very much a product of his generation.

All the scars from the self inflicted cuts on my daughter's arms have faded now, but when they were still visible I only had to catch sight of them to make my eyes tear up.  Quite naturally my daughter came out to me first because she knew I was a safe bet and would listen to her without yelling at her like my 'ex' would.  I accompanied my daughter to her first appointment with a psychiatrist and the prick wrote on his report that my daughter was unduly influenced by me and that she should not be considered a candidate for gender reassignment!

So yes it does worry me about how young children might end up being assessed by the system because the 'system' isn't always right by any stretch of the imagination.