Do other people really not notice I'm trans?

[Trillium]

So I know I have plenty of traits that show I'm transsexual but I often do wonder if everyone is just being gender identity aware when they see me and know I'm transsexual or not? Feel free to post your own pic here if you want to ask the same xx

[ImagineKate]

Honestly I wouldn't know you were trans if I saw you in the street.

A lot of people don't know I'm trans either unless I talk to them and my voice outs me.

Being trans isn't the first thing that crosses people's minds, especially if you look ordinary.

[Squircle]

It's difficult to give an accurate answer from a photo, but if I saw either of the pics of you here anywhere other than this site I wouldn't even consider you to be trans.

[Sammy]

Ummm, to my knowledge someone possibly being trans is not on most people minds anyway - they either go "F" or "M", and only when they become reaaaally confused the other options come in.

[Ms Grace]

Ummm, to my knowledge someone possibly being trans is not on most people minds anyway - they either go "F" or "M", and only when they become reaaaally confused the other options come in.

This is very true!

[stephaniec]

I think most people have a lot more to worry about than whether someone is trans or not, but I must admit I always try to pick them out.

[Trillium]

Honestly I wouldn't know you were trans if I saw you in the street.

A lot of people don't know I'm trans either unless I talk to them and my voice outs me.

Being trans isn't the first thing that crosses people's minds, especially if you look ordinary.

Thanks hun, yes talking is a bitch, I think I get away with it when my throat is clear and I remember to raise pitch, it does seem to be getting easier though and it's mostly around those that I get too relaxed with when I forget myself and my voice drops, especially when trying to explain the workings of something xx

[aniiiib]

I don't think I would figure out you're trans if I passed you on the street from what I can tell in your profile pic and the pic you posted!  What's obvious to us isn't always obvious to others since we're the ones who spend the most time looking at our bodies/faces ^.^

[Trillium]

It's difficult to give an accurate answer from a photo, but if I saw either of the pics of you here anywhere other than this site I wouldn't even consider you to be trans.

Yes that is a very good point, I guess I should look at making a video, I guess then I could hit two with one and also include my voice. I guess any trans person being honest about it will more critically look then cis people, so yays I'm happy that I 'pass' from that pic at least, I really can not tell I can see that I've improved but it's hard to not just see it as a glammed up version of my old self xx

[Trillium]

Ummm, to my knowledge someone possibly being trans is not on most people minds anyway - they either go "F" or "M", and only when they become reaaaally confused the other options come in.

I can see that ringing true in a lot of situations, especially when that person is engaged in talking with you or someone else, but in situations like when just sitting on the train sure then people will be more analytical? and those who think about shagging every girl/guy they see, wouldn't they also take a closer look at things? x

[Trillium]

I think most people have a lot more to worry about than whether someone is trans or not, but I must admit I always try to pick them out.

Yes I too am guilty of trying to pick out my own ands yeah I do sometimes feel guilty about it as I wouldn't like being picked out, but then I do see that I am in fact admiring those I look at in that way and I would like being admired x

[Trillium]

I don't think I would figure out you're trans if I passed you on the street from what I can tell in your profile pic and the pic you posted!  What's obvious to us isn't always obvious to others since we're the ones who spend the most time looking at our bodies/faces ^.^

Yes that is just so true, I guess that is what brought me to ask here, in person many people are too polite (especially here in the UK and people seem extra friendly where I am in Essex) and I never feel they are giving an honest answer. Maybe I'm just asking in the wrong way xx

[DrummerGirl]

Let's assume for a second that you are getting clocked by people.  Some of them will be gender identity aware, some will not care, and some will be transphobic.  I find it difficult to believe that all of the transphobic people that are clocking you are not saying anything.  Conversely, some gender identity aware people love to say words of encouragement.  If *no one* is saying anything to you about being transgender, the more likely scenario is that you are not getting clocked in the first place.  Relax, don't worry about it, and enjoy your new life!  🙂

[Trillium]

Let's assume for a second that you are getting clocked by people.  Some of them will be gender identity aware, some will not care, and some will be transphobic.  I find it difficult to believe that all of the transphobic people that are clocking you are not saying anything.  Conversely, some gender identity aware people love to say words of encouragement.  If *no one* is saying anything to you about being transgender, the more likely scenario is that you are not getting clocked in the first place.  Relax, don't worry about it, and enjoy your new life! 

Thank you, I never thought of it that way but what your saying does add up. I feel a bit sick actually, all the times I've been out to places in the last month I just assumed most knew and everyone had been completely tolerant or even accepting, but if that's not the case and I have come across people who are really transphobic then I can think of multiple occasions that I've really put myself at risk, namely in places where people are getting drunk. I know a trans friend of mine has a really hard time going out but I just assumed she was over sensitive because of her social phobias.

Other then from people who know me the only praise I get is 'you look so happy', actually twice know I've had someone ask why I look so happy in a way that says they don't like the fact. xx

[iKate]

Ummm, to my knowledge someone possibly being trans is not on most people minds anyway - they either go "F" or "M", and only when they become reaaaally confused the other options come in.

This is true and I think part of the reason is that the image the public often sees of trans people is that of drag queens and sex workers. This may seem like a bad thing but it could be sort of a blessing in disguise for people who pass. Think of it, if you're not a drag queen or a sex worker, people are less likely to suspect "trans." Nothing wrong with either mind you. However those of us not in those groups fly under the radar unless we're really obvious.

[Sammy]

This is true and I think part of the reason is that the image the public often sees of trans people is that of drag queens and sex workers. This may seem like a bad thing but it could be sort of a blessing in disguise for people who pass. Think of it, if you're not a drag queen or a sex worker, people are less likely to suspect "trans." Nothing wrong with either mind you. However those of us not in those groups fly under the radar unless we're really obvious.

Uhuh, the picture of how media portray transpeople is often very far from reality - and that can truly be a blessing. The only person who figured me out (as being transgender) by herself (without the need to come out) was my dentist - because she knew me before and was familiar with medical basics of transition (most people do not have this sort of information and probably still think that people transition by chopping some things off and leaving hospital two hours later...) - and even then she said that to her I looked like a woman with some masculine features - similarly to several female acquaintances of her...

[Sabrina]

You look very lady like. I can't tell at all. I still get called "he" or "him" and it really bothers me.

[Trillium]

You look very lady like. I can't tell at all. I still get called "he" or "him" and it really bothers me.

Thank you hun x
'hugs' I know how that can be, after a little while it didn't bother me when strangers did it but hurt most when family or friends did and as they knew me before they are the ones that did it (and a few sometimes still do) most. I would literally break up in tears and it made me feel so childish and attention seeking but I really couldn't hold back.

[Ellesmira the Duck]

You appear to be passing pretty well, I don't think I could tell and I do typically bank on people just not thinking about gender identity and hope that I'm shownkng enough female traits that they don't really stop to think about it. So far I've only been clocked by trans aware people. One was trans himself and happened to be dating a translady. And the other was a sushi hostess who congratulated me. Though she didn't ask if I was so I guess I looked really obvious to her. All and most people who can tell probably have experiences with trans people and won't be that hostile, but I guess where you live is a factor too.