I have utterly failed as a woman...

[ErinWDK]

Well, my subject line sort of says it.

I took iced sugar cookies for treats at church for Easter.  I used five cookie cutters: an easter egg, a tulip, a butterfly, an Easter Bunny, and (gasp) an umbrella.  That last one came in a set of 101 cookie cutters I got for cheap at Target.  My totally erroneous thought line was that it rains in the spring.  Oh joy!  They say ignorance is bliss - well...

What I learned, much to my chagrin, is that EVERY cis-woman knows that umbrella shaped cookies are for baby showers.  And with pink (spring theme) frosting on all but the handle.  That would appear to have sent a message I didn't have a clue I was sending.

At least I was presenting male when I served them.  (maybe a BIT of an excuse)

The shame, the shame.  The cis-women who know my situation assured me that there are also spring showers...


Erin

[ChiGirl]

Good to know! [emoji1]

[Clever]

I did not know this! Umbrellas for baby showers! Huh!

[Sunderland]

Never heard this, either... But then, I can't imagine me ever going to a baby shower.

[ErinWDK]

There is this "Secret Society of Women" and baby showers are one of their more exclusive rituals.  Obviously I have never been to one.  If you find yourself invited to one that is high praise that you fit in as a woman.  This is a LOT more of an acid test than to be comfortable going out of the house en femme, or even using the ladies room.


Erin

[KarynMcD]

Who are these weird people?

I did a search on google for baby shower cookies and you know what you almost never see?
Umbrellas!

https://www.google.com/search?q=baby+shower+cookies

[ErinWDK]

Who are these weird people?

I did a search on google for baby shower cookies and you know what you almost never see?
Umbrellas!

https://www.google.com/search?q=baby+shower+cookies

This is a bit more comforting that maybe I am not a 100.00% doofus.  But I got catty comments from a number of women...  Not sure what I should have done with that umbrella cookie cutter.


Erin

[marsh monster]

Not sure what I should have done with that umbrella cookie cutter.


Erin

I have an idea, but I don't think those ladies would care for it...

[Rachel]

Well, and umbrella is also a trans symbol.

I did not know it was used for showers.

[Echo Eve]

Hm, if I were to ever fit in with the baby shower set, I'd feel that I'd failed in my personal goals towards womanhood.

FYI...

"The term shower is often assumed to mean that the expectant mother is "showered" with gifts. The related custom bridal shower may have derived its name from the custom in Victorian times for the presents to be put inside a parasol, which when opened would "shower" the bride-to-be with gifts." ("Origins of Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties", Something Old, Something Bold, 2006)

[LordKAT]

The umbrella theme for baby showers isn't unusual, nor is it unusual for spring themes. At least not where I live.  I think it had more to do with the pink frosting.

[Mara]

Quick, save face! Accuse someone of being preggo! 

[iKate]

I've been invited to more baby showers than I can remember (I guess they like having me there) and yes I've seen the umbrella cookies. As for party ideas, Pinterest is my go to source.

[Charlotte2]

I never seen this...so I don't think it's universal among cis-women.

Cattyness thought...yeah I've seen that a few times. 

[Eva Marie]

Wow, that's a rough experience. Who knew that an umbrella shaped cookie was wrong?!?!

The knowledge of the do's and dont's and social nuances in a female world is an area where I am sorely lacking....but experiences similar to this one are teaching me as I go through my new life.

There is nothing to be done about this situation now except to learn from it and move forward. Some women will be catty and snobby in these types of situations but that is because they have nothing else in their lives but cattiness and snobbishness and they use that to try to elevate themselves above others - in other words, you have run into some very insecure people.

Just brush it off as them being bitchy/not nice individuals, know that you are better than that, and keep moving forward 

[iKate]

The internet makes it easy these days. Look at Pinterest as I mentioned but also Facebook groups.

[ErinWDK]

Wow!  Thaks for all the support.  This makes me feel so much better words fail.  Now, where do I start?

Quick, save face! Accuse someone of being preggo! 

This was a group of 450 people and the demographics lean very much to young families.  I suspect there was a 100% chance that a few (way more than one) were expecting.

The umbrella theme for baby showers isn't unusual, nor is it unusual for spring themes. At least not where I live.  I think it had more to do with the pink frosting.

The pink frosting may have had a good bit to do with it.  As noted above, I was serving cookies to the multitude.  My creativiity runs a bit short.  The target was spring colors and pink and pale yellow got picked.  Time gets critical for doing this sort of thing with piles of cookies...

Well, and umbrella is also a trans symbol.

I did not know it was used for showers.

The trans idea was a bit in the back of my mind.  I thought it was obscure enough to slip under the radar.  It sure did...

Wow, that's a rough experience. Who knew that an umbrella shaped cookie was wrong?!?!

The knowledge of the do's and dont's and social nuances in a female world is an area where I am sorely lacking....but experiences similar to this one are teaching me as I go through my new life.

There is nothing to be done about this situation now except to learn from it and move forward. Some women will be catty and snobby in these types of situations but that is because they have nothing else in their lives but cattiness and snobbishness and they use that to try to elevate themselves above others - in other words, you have run into some very insecure people.

Just brush it off as them being bitchy/not nice individuals, know that you are better than that, and keep moving forward 

Well, I have learned a wee bit.  The last pass was chocolate chip cookies.  Nobody reads anything into that - they just grab and eat.  (I do build a mean chocolate chip cookie...)

Some of the cis-women I deal with are catty.  Not sure how to read that.  Maybe they ARE treating me as a woman???

Another week - with less drama.


Erin