i came across this newspaper article today (i wish i could show you the original, but it's not in english so i'll have to take the trouble of translating it) written by a psychiatrist. the heading was quite catchy- 'beautiful son turns into beautiful daughter'- and sounded positive and i immediately read into it thinking it speaks supportive of trans community, which is a very rare occasion in the society i live in.
it was about a 7y/o kid who is anatomically male but wants to become a girl. the kid had had a sweet look since he was a baby and looked like a girl, so (i'm wondering what pronoun i should use for the kid. hope it's alright to use 'he'. i'm really really sorry if it offends the kid or you but you see, it will be so much easier to tell the story with that pronoun) the kid's mom used to dress him up in his sister's old dresses for fun, and cuddle him saying 'oh my sweet li'l girl' and stuff. the mother says the kid complained that she loves his sister more, and mother has said that was because girls need to be better looked after than boys. then the kid has said 'then i wish i were a girl, then mom would love me like that'.
as the kid grew older he has been found to be crossdressing on his own, sometimes even dressing up in sister's clothes and wearing her makeup. sometimes he would play teacher wearing mom's sarees, claiming he wished he was a girl so that he can become a (female)teacher when he grows up. he had loved and had a collection of dolls, and was caught once taking a doll to school and once wearing mom's lipstick to school. his schoolmates had discovered this and made fun of him, calling him a girl and stuff. they continually bullied him, so finally the kid has refused to go to school and says he doesn't want to attend a boys' school anymore, and that he wants to enter a girls' school. the kid is constantly asking his mom to make him a girl, so finally the mother has taken the kid to this psychiatrist.
so from what i read upto here i assumed the kid is transgender mtf, and read on further, but the psychiatrist has assumed absurd things! he says though the XY genes determine a person's anatomical sex, their gender identity is set in the age of 2-4 years, and the kid's environment in those ages highly affects this gender identity. in this case, as the mother had from time to time dressed the kid as a girl and called her daughter for fun, the kid's gender identity has been set as female. so it's the mom's fault in the old days that he is experiencing such difficulties with his gender identity now at the age of 7.
then the psychiatrist advices parents on how to avoid such a fate falling upon their child. he strictly advices them not to do anything that would confuse the kid's gender identity, they should never wear clothes of the opposite gender, and girls should be given dolls and boys given cars to play with, not vice versa by any means. and call them with correct pronouns of their gender. then the kid's gender identity will be firmly set in alignment with anatomical gender. if the parents do the forbidden things, the kids will grow up with gender identity issues into adulthood, become cornered in society, get depressed and face all kinds troubles and some might even go to the extent of altering their anatomical gender by surgeries.
then he explains how he's treating that kid, he says they don't use hormonal treatments on kids, so that kid is undergoing mental therapy. he will be put into association of a group of nice boys (he'll see no more girls i assume) and constantly reminded how great it is to be a boy, he will be taught the plus factors of being a boy and he will be constantly told stories of strong powerful male heroes, so finally the kid will realize he doesn't have to become a girl.
now i don't like to swear but what sorta b***s*** was that? written by a psychiatrist? and he's even allowed to treat that kid like that? firstly my friends, please enlighten me if you know whether a kind of induced gender identity issues this article talks about exists. please tell me if it exists because i'm feeling very upset after reading that article. the country i live in is very conservative and has near to nothing knowledge of transgender community. the little knowledge they do have is directed towards laughing at us, insulting, disgusting and cornering us. and when the newspapers which are supposed to educate the society are doing this type of education, what hope do i have about transitioning? and if this is the opinion of psychiatrists about children with gender identity issues, that something parents did wrong in childhood lead to all this, how do i even contact one someday to solve my issues?
my parents did not dress me in boys clothes intentionally, though my childhood photos wearing shorts are the only ones i like. i had short hair however, that too only because my mom wished to keep my hair short until i was old enough to take care of it on my own. they called me 'son' however, and i still insist they call me that though i haven't come out (but that word is also used gender neutrally around here, like you would use 'guys!' to a group of girls) but, i was and am dead envious of my brother because i think my parents love him more because he's a boy, so i used to wish i could become a boy so that they will love me more when i was a kid. i saw all kinds of negative aspects of being a girl and wanted to become a boy to avoid them. i absolutely hated it when someone forbid me from doing something because girls shouldn't do that, but i really wanted to do that and become a boy for that. i constantly felt i was being discriminated for being a girl. it was much later, only after knowing that my sexual attraction was towards girls that i realized there was much deeper reason to what i was feeling. but would that psychiatrist think my parents are somehow responsible for my story? do you have similar stories and would that guy be able to explain them off with his theory?
