Panic attack at the drive-thru...

Emjay · April 22, 2015, 07:34:48 PM

Person at the drive thru window:

"So.... that's one salad right SIR?"

Me:

ummmmm...... yeah.....

Person at window: "OK, that'll be $5.11 SIR. Oh, you're using your bankcard I see SIR. I'll just ring that up SIR. Here's your receipt SIR.... Is there anything else you would like SIR?...."

Me:

"no"

Person at window:

"OK, have a nice day SIR!"

Me:

suddenly not hungry for dinner anymore...... *sigh*

I mean... really I know he was trying to be nice but after one it starts to hurt....

suzifrommd · April 22, 2015, 07:46:46 PM

After being called "sir" a couple times by the folks at the supermarket (where I used to shop as a guy so they remember me), I practiced saying "Did you just call me sir? Why did you call me sir?" so that it would quickly roll off my tongue when I needed it.

Haven't needed it, though. It never happened again.

Hugs, EmJay. We all know you are NOT a sir!

kelly_aus · April 22, 2015, 07:49:25 PM

I'm known to return the favour and misgender the person..

I've also been known to lean across counters/checkouts and say, "Call me sir one more time and you'll find out what a real bitch I am."

I will not take being misgendered in any way, shape or form.

Stevie · April 22, 2015, 08:44:21 PM

Back in November I went thru a drive thru, the kid working there first called ma'am then called me sir then called me ma'am again he did this several times during the course of the transaction. I didn't say anything to correct him and it still bothers me that I didn't.

stephaniec · April 22, 2015, 10:56:51 PM

it's like someone taking a hatchet to your skull.

stephaniec · April 22, 2015, 10:57:24 PM

Quote from: kelly_aus on April 22, 2015, 07:49:25 PM
I'm known to return the favour and misgender the person..

I've also been known to lean across counters/checkouts and say, "Call me sir one more time and you'll find out what a real bitch I am."

I will not take being misgendered in any way, shape or form.

good approach

Vanny · April 23, 2015, 12:16:19 AM

Yeah well how about the time I handed the person money and my press on nail fell off on the counter. Then the story got worse. I am sure if it could have happened, my boob would have fallen on the change

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Emjay · April 23, 2015, 06:08:28 AM

Quote from: stephaniec on April 22, 2015, 10:56:51 PM
it's like someone taking a hatchet to your skull.

Yup! That's exactly how it felt.... repeatedly....

I've gathered myself back up since then but still.... sometimes, when that happens it's almost like maybe that person is self affirming something since they weren't sure to begin with? Idk just a thought....

Thank you all so much for the replies, it means so much to know I'm not alone and someone else understands. When I posted this originally I was feeling very very alone.

awilliams1701 · April 23, 2015, 03:30:19 PM

My favorite Star Trek is Voyager and they call the captain Ma'am even though its "only acceptable in emergencies". For some reason I've wanted to call almost everyone Ma'am since it first aired. Maybe I'll try that next time it happens, but I'm not sure its intentional. I'm only 5 months in. I get sir'ed a lot more in winter when I was wearing my old jacket. Its zipper failed (its like 10 years old) so I'll have to get a new one next year anyway.

Quote from: kelly_aus on April 22, 2015, 07:49:25 PM
I'm known to return the favour and misgender the person..

I've also been known to lean across counters/checkouts and say, "Call me sir one more time and you'll find out what a real bitch I am."

I will not take being misgendered in any way, shape or form.

FTMax · April 24, 2015, 07:51:39 AM

The drive-thru is really the only place I get misgendered anymore. Whenever I have to project my voice, it gets significantly higher and they'll usually call me ma'am or not say anything gender-specific while I'm ordering at the speaker. They immediately correct themselves and apologize at the window.

Alexis2107 · April 24, 2015, 08:10:23 AM

Hate to sound like a b*, just go inside o.O

I dislike fast serve service like drive through, they can never hear me at the speaker and it gets frustrating while I am talking, they continuously say "that all?" or "anything else?". No, my mouth is still moving and I am making noise (talking).

And besides, going inside, you get to show off your womanly appearance :-)

Emjay · April 24, 2015, 02:12:00 PM

Quote from: ftmax on April 24, 2015, 07:51:39 AM
The drive-thru is really the only place I get misgendered anymore. Whenever I have to project my voice, it gets significantly higher and they'll usually call me ma'am or not say anything gender-specific while I'm ordering at the speaker. They immediately correct themselves and apologize at the window.

I usually avoid drive thru's for just this reason too. I only went that route because I was in a big hurry and had to get to work soon that day.

The weird thing was, I didn't get gendered at the speaker thingy at all and it was a different person at the window. The whole exchange happened at the window while face to face. *sigh*

I was out today with my wife and someone addressed me as "sir" then once they actually looked at me they immediately corrected themselves and said "Ma'am! Sorry!!!"

Quote from: Alexis2107 on April 24, 2015, 08:10:23 AM
Hate to sound like a b*, just go inside o.O

I dislike fast serve service like drive through, they can never hear me at the speaker and it gets frustrating while I am talking, they continuously say "that all?" or "anything else?". No, my mouth is still moving and I am making noise (talking).

And besides, going inside, you get to show off your womanly appearance :-)

True, manners are usually out the window at the speaker.... No pun intended!

That is completely annoying....

Rainbow Dash · April 24, 2015, 03:03:17 PM

I guess I'm lucky. I can't get a "Sir" at the drive through, even when I've tried just for the hell of it.

Alexis2107 · April 24, 2015, 04:08:22 PM

Quote from: Rainbow Dash on April 24, 2015, 03:03:17 PM
I guess I'm lucky. I can't get a "Sir" at the drive through, even when I've tried just for the hell of it.

Must be gifted with the right voice.. i've always been called ma'am at speaker boxes and on telephone and get the usual "oh, i'm sorry" when they actually SEE me or look up my name on the telephone and see its a 'male' name. Luckily them days are over.

A lot of our sisters here do not have that gift, and it is hard on them. I couldn't even remotely imagine. Voice training would be so hard I would think.

PhoenixGurl2016 · April 24, 2015, 04:36:25 PM

Ma'am, they are fools for not clearly seeing that you are a ma'am. Getting misgendered and called the wrong pronouns is so frustrating.

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BenKenobi · April 26, 2015, 04:42:45 PM

Since I'm pre-T but look boyish, I've had people call me sir then "correct" themselves by saying ma'am as soon as I speak. :/ What's more annoying is that they FREAK the ->-bleeped-<- out apologizing so they don't pay attention when I say "no it's okay, you were right the first time".

Also, I find it very strange that I've been called ma'am more times after I got my haircut than when I had it long.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I'd just say "stop calling me that!" because that just seems an unnecessary amount of times.

News:

Panic attack at the drive-thru...

kelly_aus