I was having quite the down and out kind of night due to just feeling, well lonely really. I have always coped by having a female presence online via MMORPG's for the most part. It has however over the past couple years increasingly become an emotional doubled edged sword that triggers equal amounts of dysphoria vs relief. Simply expressing my female self virtually is no longer enough. (it never really was)
I would very much love to meet other Trans people in my area. Find some new friends that I can really relate to with the hopes of making this journey more endurable. Arkansas is proving however to be a hard place to find that, sadly. Yet moving isn't much of an option currently. As such I was chatting with a close online friend. She has been and is my biggest supporter also the first person I came out to. She just always seems to know how to cheer me up so I thought I would share what she said to me tonight.
"...but YOU, who YOU are on the inside, who you are GOING to be on the outside...you're amazing. Why do you think countless people are drawn to you, in any game or virtual environment that you find? No matter where you are, when you feel safe in your virtual self, you explode with confidence. You are just now starting the real life track to match that feeling, even a little. Other people have felt the same, and the fact that you can see that, and see those feelings in YOURSELF, is just proof that you're doing the right thing. I know you can cope, I know you can deal, because you're...you."
A few kind words can go so far. =)
