Disheartening and Discouraging

Rebekah · April 25, 2015, 09:21:27 PM

I am going to have to just leave Facebook for a week or two... It has been way to much today. Due to the Bruce Jenner story it has been non-stop bickering, name-calling, and belittling of her story by everyone (Family and Friend) on my facebook.. As well as a really deep down lack of knowledge on the issue..

No one.. No one of my family or friends know I am transitioning myself and in my world that would be like a death sentence to reveal such... So I can't even count on how many status line comments that turned up on my feed that I had to hide...

IT is so disheartening and discouraging... Because seeing such shows me exactly how I know and knew they would respond if I came out.

Michaela

Beth Andrea · April 25, 2015, 09:29:53 PM

*hugs*

Maybe open a second FB account, and in that one be open about your trans status? (Perhaps even using your chosen name, but with no mention of your current name, job, location, etc?)

With the second account, build up a support network of friends, pro-LGBTQ FB pages, etc. This gives you a safe and encouraging place to which you can retreat if met with upsetting posts/people on the first one.

Rebekah · April 25, 2015, 09:39:42 PM

Beth, That is definitely a thought.. I did that before on another controversial view I hold to. Of course I would have to keep any photos of me off the profile pic so I wouldn't be recognized by people.. Not sure what to do about the last name thought... My trans name I picked is a feminine version of my real name Michaela - Michael and if I put Michaela with the last name it might put on some suspicion if people I know see it.. Although I guess there can be other people out there with Michaela ******* as a name..

Some thoughts would have to go into this.... But thanks for the suggestion...

Michaela

fennec-fox · April 25, 2015, 09:42:38 PM

If your last name is a common one, it probably wouldn't raise any suspicion. Otherwise, perhaps you could just use your last initial?

Beth Andrea · April 25, 2015, 09:48:01 PM

Names don't have to be legit. Make one up.

I had a friend whose name on FB was something like "Cascade Hills." Just don't use obviously fictional names (Santa Claus, Trwk Rtvps, Five Seven, etc.)

So...what's the "other controversial view" you have? DON'T ANSWER THAT!!

I'm pretty controversial in certain areas too...silence is golden at this time.

Ms Grace · April 25, 2015, 09:53:23 PM

Quote from: Rebekah on April 25, 2015, 09:21:27 PM
IT is so disheartening and discouraging... Because seeing such shows me exactly how I know and knew they would respond if I came out.

Maybe, maybe not. People are more likely to have a go at Bruce Jenner because they are famous and connected to the Kardashians and Kanye West... easy targets for everything and anything. Yes, it probably reveals their underlying attitudes and lack of awareness but people often change their tune about that stuff when it's somebody they know. Things might still work out OK. But yeah, a vacation from FB sounds like a good idea.

iKate · April 25, 2015, 09:56:02 PM

*hugs*
Part of the reason I left Facebook is because I figured some people wouldn't accept me. I was partially wrong about that. But I decided for my own safety and to manage my dysphoria I would leave it anyway. It was also becoming a major time suck. Kind of sad really since I was on it from almost the beginning when zuck had set it up as a college thing.

I keep in touch with my family and close friends on skype and hey in person too.

Beth Andrea · April 25, 2015, 10:04:38 PM

Quote from: iKate on April 25, 2015, 09:56:02 PM
*hugs*
Part of the reason I left Facebook is because I figured some people wouldn't accept me. I was partially wrong about that. But I decided for my own safety and to manage my dysphoria I would leave it anyway. It was also becoming a major time suck. Kind of sad really since I was on it from almost the beginning when zuck had set it up as a college thing.

I keep in touch with my family and close friends on skype and hey in person too.

What is this "in person" of which thou speaketh?

Funny aside: Today when walking our Lily-dog, I left my cell phone at home. When she stopped to do her thing, I reached for my cell...and realized I didn't have it.

*awkward silence while dog squats*

That's when I realized I'd used the cell--and electronics in general--as a diversion, to keep myself from looking around and seeing the world, the REAL world. (I grew up without cell phones, cable TV, etc. Remember the 3+1 channels everyone had? ABC, NBC, PBS and the wannabe channel CBS? But I digress...)

I watched a small flock of birds fly around in a tight little ball formation, the trees swaying in the light breeze, heard a dog barking in the distance (big dog, from the sound), someone planting flowers...

Lots of nice things to watch if the electronic monster is off.

iKate · April 25, 2015, 10:08:19 PM

I'm without a doubt cyber addicted. I have 17GB per month on my cell data plan and I use all of it. It's time to cut it way down. Just killing off my Facebook alone has freed me.

Jayne · April 25, 2015, 10:18:03 PM

People judge celebrities differently to us normal folk so you may be surprised.

I definitely advocate having a second fb account, I have one and so does my dog, due to his paws his typing isn't very good so I do most of the typing for him.
In the bio under hobbies it says: chasing balls, sleeping and eating

katrinaw · April 25, 2015, 10:34:18 PM

2 FB accounts, one that I used for my life to current, one for the new me when I tell the world (and SO's)

Agree with how FB and other social media types do gobble up bandwidth, luckily for me I have a limitless account.

Regarding BJ post the news show, it was always going to initially polarize folks, because of her media profile, however how she now handles herself through the journey (publicly) will determine the outcomes... It is a hot topic right now, but time will tell!

Oh BTW not seen the interview yet.

And yes Beth, I to remember a world without Mobile Phones, Laptops, iPads and graphical screens... LoL Getting outside and doing outdoor things with friends and families But on the downside we were so much less informed eh?

L Katy

Mariah · April 25, 2015, 10:48:39 PM

I agree with what everyone else has said that you may benefit from creating a new facebook page of people who will be supportive of you where you can feel much safer. Leaving facebook is an option if that is what you need or you could get rid of those who stress you on your current account. Grace is right though just because they Ms. Jenner that way doesn't mean they would you. They can surprise you sometimes. Being on social media doesn't need to be a source of stress and pain. I to remember the world before all the electronic stuff back to the days when you just had your local channels, but having said that I could have used places like this 25 or more years ago. Good luck and Hugs in regards to whatever you decide to do.
Mariah

Quote from: Rebekah on April 25, 2015, 09:21:27 PM
I am going to have to just leave Facebook for a week or two... It has been way to much today. Due to the Bruce Jenner story it has been non-stop bickering, name-calling, and belittling of her story by everyone (Family and Friend) on my facebook.. As well as a really deep down lack of knowledge on the issue..

No one.. No one of my family or friends know I am transitioning myself and in my world that would be like a death sentence to reveal such... So I can't even count on how many status line comments that turned up on my feed that I had to hide...

IT is so disheartening and discouraging... Because seeing such shows me exactly how I know and knew they would respond if I came out.

Michaela

iKate · April 25, 2015, 11:36:57 PM

I decided to reactivate fb just to gawk at what I thought would be a train wreck. I was sorely disappointed, all my friends and frenemies said absolutely nothing about Jenner. In comment sections in some places I saw random nonsense but most of my friends list who commented said things like how they really don't care, can't believe ABC wasted an hour of primetime TV, how he/she's in it for the money etc. NOTHING transphobic. Most people were happy for him/her. I am stunned, really. I did however promptly deactivate my account again.

The real test for me is when I go FT at work which is soon.

Rachel · April 26, 2015, 06:21:37 AM

What someone says about a celebrity and someone that is unknown is very different than someone they know, love and respect.

Rebekah · April 26, 2015, 10:43:24 AM

Ms. Grace,

Actually you would be surprised in my world and circle.. It is normally the other way around. If they know you it will be worse then someone they don't know or of someone they hear about..

There is a saying the world knows "Blood is thicker then Water" but that saying is altered where I am from "Yes, Blood is thicker then Water but Religion is thicker then Blood".

So what I have seen is quite light for Bruce Jenner compared to what I would face, hear, and what would happen to me. I have known people who have been brought before Church Judiciary Hearings for trail, Excommunicated, and even shunned by entire family and they were for issues a lot less then this..

Michaela

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 25, 2015, 09:53:23 PM
Maybe, maybe not. People are more likely to have a go at Bruce Jenner because they are famous and connected to the Kardashians and Kanye West... easy targets for everything and anything. Yes, it probably reveals their underlying attitudes and lack of awareness but people often change their tune about that stuff when it's somebody they know. Things might still work out OK. But yeah, a vacation from FB sounds like a good idea.

Rebekah · April 26, 2015, 06:37:50 PM

Ok, I have created my new facebook page and is going to be the genuine and absolutely ME in every detail...

Please add me if you want... You will find me under 100009581376760@facebook.com

Beth Andrea, It is a merger of all who am I including that other controversial view.. So if you want to know what it is, come and find out..

Anyway, I would love contacts and friends who can support me..

Michaela

Dierdre Lenore · April 27, 2015, 11:42:51 AM

I'll jump in! I love new virtual friends!

Dierdre Lenore · April 27, 2015, 11:47:01 AM

Um ok... I'm kinda old I guess, but you can find me with the same name seen here.

Rebekah · April 27, 2015, 07:24:48 PM

Dierdre I found you on facebook but there was no add button. All I could do was message you which I did but it said it would end up in your other box which a lot of people don't check.. Anyway, just letting you know I tried to add you and hope we get it worked out.....

Michaela

Majj Wynn · April 27, 2015, 10:11:44 PM

That's an interesting idea, starting a separate fb.

At the same time, It might be good to start presenting your views on your current fb, if you ever think of just being yourelf with people you know. There's nothing wrong with responding to the comments and presenting your own views, of how it's a good thing. And so long as it's not about a arguing, they might learn something from your views. They don't have to be personal, just to support transgender people, you know?
But that's just an idea if you're willing to start putting 'something' out there.

it is still discouraging, but at the same time, that's where a lot of people are.. and it just takes more people showing how the transgender issues deserve respect, and they can (sometimes slowly, but still) change their tune more and more. And if they don't, then theyre the type of people you don't want to mind that much anyway, it's like listening to your grandpa say racist things.. you just go 'ooohh silly grandpa'..

Well, just some thoughts

News:

Disheartening and Discouraging

iKate

iKate

iKate