Advice, ideas, guidance, general help pls

[DelKay]

So first off I'm 19 and I'd like to transition. The problem is I don't see myself starting till I move out as transitioning clashes with my parents religious views. To complicate things even more I let them pressure me into being accepted to a university called "our last seat of wisdom academy". A super catholic uni out in the middle of no where. There are maybe 100 students on campus. Now I really don't feel like leaving for uni is for me. I really feel like I need to save up and get ready to move out but uni will only delay that for another year or more. So I've been feeling anxious about that. It just means I'm stuck with my family longer and I really really need my own space.
Also I'm anxious because I feel like transitioning now would benefit me so much more than transitioning years from now. Im terrified of watching my physic go and look less and less like what I wanted it to look like. So yeah if anyone has and ideas, like ways I could maybe keep in touch with a therapist up from no mans land or moving in with a room mate or something it would help a lot. My brain fuzzes out after I think of this too much. :'3
Thx again.

Ps I won't be able to reply immediately. My parents don't let me use the wifi at home because we had a little disagreement. So I'll try to get back to you all asap. Thanks again so much :')

[Emily E]

If you want out of the house going to the university seems like a quick solution but I looked them up and found "Our Lady Seat of Wisdom" which is as you described it out in the middle of nowhere but what really concerns me about it is that currently it cant give out any degrees nor does it appear to be accredited (in the United States colleges are accredited and course credits are transferable I'm not sure what its like in Canada) it seems more like a collage prepatory school.  If the credits were transferable I would say go for it and take the free education and see a doctor on the side to start transition and then when you start HRT move to another university and have the credits evaluated (the whole time working on the side and saving money for your needs).   

so what I would do is:
1.  check and see if the credits are transferable to other universities (if that cant be don't waist your time and your parents money)
2.  find a therapist who will see you through the internet (one of the reasons your working on the side is you may have to pay this person) a couple do it via chat not skyp so you could realistically do it while some one else is in the room with out them knowing.

Good Luck I hope it works out for you

[Laura_7]

You could have a look here for a few thoughts that might help you:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,186590.msg1661548.html#msg1661548


https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,187135.0.html


Well its up to you what you say to your parents, and if... you know them best...
concerning dependence you might consider...

One possibility would be to say you want some counseling, for emotional reasons, and look for someone who has gender on their list, or an online counselor. If its connected with depressions it might be covered.

Is it possible your parents want this college so they have a feeling you're not kind of out of control ? You might reassure them that you are a reliable person nonetheless...

You might think about a therapist... they even might help explain to them.
Some people give the explanation of a twin... they will be essentially the same person... like a female twin... with still the same sense of humour etc...


hug

[stephaniec]

I know being young and dependent on your parents can be quite limiting. The only thing I can suggest  or say is that you have a right to choose your own college, It's your life not theirs. I'm guess you'll be 18 pretty soon so and legal issues as far as your parents are concerned won't be an issue. Ideally the best move you could make is to go to a school of your choosing outside of your home state or at least far enough away where you can live on campus or nearby with other students. Being in a college gives you access to counseling on or off campus. Pretty much adulthood. If the problem with choosing a school is their money, there is all sorts of scholarships and grants offered for education. You can always take the path a lot of people do and just do it all on your own through scholarships , loans , grants , work study or jobs off campus.