It takes time for hormones to reach a noticeable level in the bloodstream, but I can see where you might be nervous if you are hypersensitive to change and feelings. Serious reactions usually happen quickly, as in minutes to hours, so you can relax a bit on that.
Because this comment is in part age related, please don't take offense, its not meant to be condescending. You talk about being afraid to let someone in again and feekling fine being alone for the rest of your life. Although its possible you may continue to feel this way, its more likely that as you get older, having someone to share your life with, someone who will be there for you and you for them, share even small but important events etc. will become more important.
Its difficult to make your way back from a relationship that was very important but ended either badly or before you were ready for it to end, but if you don't find a way to leave the fear and distrust behind, it will eat you from the inside. You don't have to go straight into a heavy relationship, nor do you need to seek out a purely physical relationship with no love or responsibility. Casual dates are a good way to start, and there is nothing wrong with telling someone that casual is probably all you want.
The main thing is to try and find a way to remember the love you found in your last relationship, but not let it rule your life or hang onto it so tightly that is keeps you from moving forward. Being alone later in life is often empty and sometimes scary. Its isolating, and makes the little things meaningless. Trying to find that one person who completes your life opens you up to hurt, that is true, but hiding from it is actually more painful, and if you go long enough, it gets harder to take the risks you need to take to find that special person.
sam1234
