Another confused Australian

[Jessica_M]

Hi everyone, I finally plucked up the courage to get onto a forum and from what I've read everyone seems very nice and supportive.

I'm very much at that point where only my ex knows about the other half of my life and since leaving me I'm half worried she'll tell people, but also unsure as to what to do with my life. Half go me tells me I'm TG (I'm yet to seek professional advice) and the other half tells me that all of this is ruining my life. Yet... I keep remaining myself that dressing and seeing myself as a woman make me happy.

Another side to things I'd love to pursue and call me weird in being a mannequin. I'm not sure why I love it, but I do. I was never really able to take it as far as I would have liked to, but got to a point where my ex helped my to build a device that I was locked on to which held me in place from head to toe and right out to the fingers, then I was masked and dressed in big crinoline dresses and left there for one, maybe two or more hours completely powerless. It was a huge rush, but now hat we're not together anymore I have nobody to do it with and I'm scared of what others might think. I've dreamed so many times I being turned into a bridal mannequin and spending the day in the front window of a bridal shop in a huge dress being admired by passers by. Like I said, I feel very grateful I was able to do what I did, but a bit devastated that it's no longer so easy. Being powerless, yet so excited was the best part. Don't get me wrong though, the long period of being restrained standing on every part of your body and also tightly corseted did tai it out on you. Each time I was able to do it I was very sore and tired afterwards. On most occasions we would glue the mask on with medical adhesive too, so there'd be a long and annoying process of removing the adhesive before I was able to relax.

Sorry for rambling, I guess I just need to get it out there and really I guess I'd just love to meet some people who might find this interesting too and want to work with me on display ideas

Hope you're all having an amazing week

[Cindy]

Hi Hon,
Welcome from Adelaide. One of the mods will post an intro soon.

[Mariah]

Hi Jessica, welcome to Susan's. Your feelings are very common and sorting all that out does take some time.  A good gender therapist can help you sort that. I'm glad your out to your ex and understand it will take her time to process this just like it's taking you time too. Your among friends now. I look forward to seeing your around. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

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[Devlyn]

Hi Jessica, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. I have a friend who wants me to come over and play with the restraints. I trust her, I'm just not interested in that. Maybe some day. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[Rachel]

Hello and welcome to Susan's

I would suggest a part of the site for you to post but I would need a bit more information. What do you consider your gender? Do you enjoy being en-femm without being restrained? Do you go outside expressing?

[Jessica_M]

Hi Hon,
Welcome from Adelaide. One of the mods will post an intro soon.

Thanks Cindy, it's great to be here and since I'm also from Adelaide it's nice to see other locals here

[Jessica_M]

Hi Jessica, welcome to Susan's. Your feelings are very common and sorting all that out does take some time.  A good gender therapist can help you sort that. I'm glad your out to your ex and understand it will take her time to process this just like it's taking you time too. Your among friends now. I look forward to seeing your around. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

Much appreciated, I should be sleeping, but I just read through all of those links and it's very reassuring to know there's a high level of compassion here and a strong want to steer well away from the common forum behaviour we all see way too often. It's because of this that I've walked away from a few other guy type forums in the past. Not because of attacks on me or anything to do with me, I was just sick of the stupid attitudes and overly sarcastic posts that added no real sustenance to the conversation

[Jessica_M]

Hi Jessica, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. I have a friend who wants me to come over and play with the restraints. I trust her, I'm just not interested in that. Maybe some day. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Hi Devlyn, it;s nice to meet you too. I bet the weather in Mass is getting really nice about this time of year. I'm not sure why I see it as interesting and I was really worried posting that that people might think I'm some type of weirdo, but other than being on here I've really had nobody else to talk about it with.

[Devlyn]

If anyone thinks you're a weirdo, let them worry about it! Glad you joined us.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Jessica_M]

Hello and welcome to Susan's

I would suggest a part of the site for you to post but I would need a bit more information. What do you consider your gender? Do you enjoy being en-femm without being restrained? Do you go outside expressing?

Hi Cynthia, I honestly don't know what gender I am right now. I will seek professional opinion and maybe Cindy can recommend someone as she's local to me, I guess being still fresh out of a long term and loving relationship I'm still very much an emotional mess, so my mind is telling me a million things. As far as being em-femm I definitely do enjoy dressing. I don't go out much, although I've done the occasional lap of the block or drive to the post office late at night and I've always found it both exciting and scary. As I've got broad shoulders I do like having big hips and butt and I've made a few different pads experimenting. Having the big hips and being corseted feels great to me also. very feminine. When I go out I often just find myself checking out girls not only from a sexual interest point of view, but also from jealousy. To me there's just nothing exciting or interesting about being a man. Women are beautiful, stylish and express so much more creativity.   

I still hate the look of myself in makeup and although my ex was a professional makeup artist and did me up on a number of occasions and said I looked good, I always just see me wearing makeup. I've tried a few masks and although they all just look like masks the feeling I get looking in the mirror is very good.

[katrinaw]

Hi Jessica, welcome to Susan's

I'm Sydney based...

Great to have you onboard...

L Katy 

[V M]

Hi Jessica 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Jessica_M]

Hi Jessica, welcome to Susan's

I'm Sydney based...

Great to have you onboard...

L Katy 

Great to meet you Katy, I lived in Sydney for quiet a while until a few years ago. I do miss it a lot

[Jessica_M]

Hi Jessica 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Thanks VM, I'm feeling the love already, it's nice to know there's genuine people out there who understand. As most of you know the stresses of life, failed relationships and not really know who you are so take their toll

[Jessica_M]

His girls, I'm posting again because I'm quite excited. I'm scared about what does or doesn't lie ahead, but after feeling the love on the forum today I got home this afternoon, Rushed in, shaved and made myself up. Yes I'm terrible at makeup and I look like a badly done drag queen, but with everything on from top to bottom, including chunky hip pads, my waist laced down to about 28-inches) and my cute red wig on the girl I see in the mirror makes me happy. xxoo

[Mariah]

Jessica, some people including myself consider makeup to be an art. Any craft like that takes time, practice and experience. One thing you can do to help improve on your makeup are look at some of the videos on youtube or go to a place/ have them come to you and have a professional show you.. Other options are out there too. They will give you a better idea of what you can do differently. The other thing is I will pass a piece of advice on to you and that is less is more when it come to makeup. The key is keep practicing and you will get the hang of it in time. I was descent at makeup when I started, but I really have refined my skills over time. It's wonderful to hear that the girl in the mirror makes you happy. I know the woman I see in my mirror makes me happy too. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[Jenny07]

Hi Jessica

Welcome to the Aussie mafia.
We are everywhere.

Jen

[Delyth]

Hi there,

I am also an Aussie girl. I am at the early stages of this process to become the real me. I am based in Sydney.

[Jessica_M]

Hi there,

I am also an Aussie girl. I am at the early stages of this process to become the real me. I am based in Sydney.

Nice to meet you Delyth. I'm considering moving back to Sydney. I was there for over a decade until a few years ago and now I miss it a lot

[jess_oz]

hi jessica

Another Jess here. I am also from Sydney.

Susan's is a great place to sort out any confusion relating to gender identity. Over the years I have got more direct, honest answers from here than from most professionals.

Nice to meet you.

Jess