Do you like where you live?

[iKate]

City, state, province, country, even neighborhood?

I used to love/hate the NYC area but lately I've begun hating it even more.

The high cost of living, congestion and I feel the overall quality of life is less. I really hate the stress. I also hate cold weather and winter.

I probably want to move but my wife apparently doesn't want to. Even if we split (at a yet undetermined date) I don't want to be too far from my kids, or even if I gain custody I can't take them far from her.

But at times living here makes me so depressed. I feel like I'm stuck in a rat race. I would rather live near my mom in Florida, or in Austin or Dallas TX, or even the Carolinas (North Carolina most likely). But as a trans woman it is so easy to get proper care in this area (NYC) and I don't want to put my health and well being in jeopardy. New Jersey also has strong protections for transgender but New York State does not (only GLB). New York City does.

Anyway do you like where you live and if not, where would you want to live?

[marsh monster]

I live in a very small town(420) on the coast of North Carolina. Its ok for the most part, I've lived her for 20 years now and transitioned here. One big drawback is that everyone knows everyone for the most part, so any sort of stealth is impossible. I have great neighbors though. There is pretty much nothing for trans in my area, the local pflag sucks and so you're pretty much on your own. To see a therapist with experience back when I first started this, I had to drive three hours one way and the endo I had in the same city as the therapist sucked, so due to finances, I've pretty much been on my own where my transition is concerned since 2006. 

I'm not big on moving, as you don't know what crap you will end up in.  I think being well thought of  before transition helped me a bit here. Even the ones that don't get it don't give me much crap as people are big on appearances here and poor behavior towards someone nice is frowned upon. Lots of gossip too, another reason stealth is unattainable besides my being obviously trans in appearance.

[FTMax]

Feeling for you. I am also very torn about where I live, and the list of pros/cons seems endless at times.

I live in northern Virginia, 5 miles outside of DC. I work in the city and drive in everyday. I do have a strong preference for the suburbs here to the actual city, and having lived on the Maryland side, I can say that Virginia is a much better fit for me personality-wise and politically.

But the cost of living is insane. We consistently make those top 10 lists for most expensive places to live in America. Most people think nothing of putting an entire paycheck (or more) towards rent. For the price of one house in a good neighborhood here, I could buy an entire block of houses in the Midwest. Traffic during rush hour is terrible. Public transit is not as good as other major metro areas. The majority of people I randomly encounter are only interested in what you do and who you work for - if it isn't interesting or well known, you are by default seen as not interesting.

But the perks are seemingly endless. Anything I could possibly want is within a five mile radius of my house. I can walk to the grocery store. There is a park at the end of my block. Many things are open 24 hours a day. There are great state parks and places to visit. Most of the museums in the city worth going to are free. DC has several trans protections on the books, and it is exceedingly easy to get proper healthcare there. There are so many government agencies and contractors here, if you're well qualified you shouldn't have a problem finding work.

For many years I've wanted to go to the Pacific Northwest. It seems to take all of my favorite perks of here while removing many of my biggest issues with the area. But a cross country move is expensive, and it's difficult to secure a job so far away unless you have a connection. I know there are several resources for healthcare there, though I would be nervous about leaving my current doctor.

It's a toss up. My approach has been applying for jobs at national companies, with hopes that I could start in their DC offices and potentially move elsewhere in a few years.

[Serena]

I hate Buffalo, NY... The winter is too cold, and there is too much snow, and it's a boring city.

[Mariah]

Kennewick is alright. It's not perfect, but on the most part no snow and the people pretty much mind their own business so it makes transitioning much easier than other places. Hugs
Mariah

[Lady Smith]

I live in a small rural town in New Zealand in the middle of dairy farming country and I love living here.  In many ways i suppose my situation is easier because I'm 61 now and I transitioned at 38 so all the pain and fury of marriage breakups and family hostility is long ago in the past.  My two adult children love me and I have a great relationship with them so there isn't much else that's important to me really.  The medical centre in the township is great, my doctor is very sensible and helpful and everything I need is within easy walking or bicycling distance.

When I came to live here ten years ago there was much speculation about me because I dressed modestly and wore a head scarf (I hadn't become a Franciscan at this stage, but still dressed the way I did for personal religious reasons).  Some folk mistakenly thought I was a cancer survivor and when I first set foot in St Mary's the local parish church a lot of the congregation thought I was an Eastern Rite Catholic and wanted to know where I was from.  I was told later that there was much speculation as to the colour and length of my hair under my tichel style headscarf.

Of course there were one or two times while out and about that somebody passed a nasty remark about my gender status, but fortunately that didn't happen very often.  I was looking after my elderly Mum at this stage of things as Mum had come to live with me.  Mum was still mobile with my assistance back then and her dementia was only in the early stages so we were seen around town together a lot.  Small towns being what they are I think the local folk saw how I cared for my Mum and made up their minds that I was a good person.

As to whether or not the majority of the local population know I'm TG or not I don't really know.  I think a few people might know and basically they don't care.  Today I was at the medical centre to get my 'Flu jab and I had a chance to chat to one of the clinic nurses I know whom I hadn't seen for a while.  She's a great lady, husband's a farmer, she loves farm work and she used to play women's rugby too.  Because the news has been full of TG topics our conversation drifted that way and in passing she commented to me that nobody would know I was TG anyway.  Even after being myself for so long it was nice to hear that.

I did not like living in the city which I had to do while I was still working as a social worker for the mental health service and as soon as I had to take early retirement due to health issues I had the itch to leave.  Living in a small town is good in my opinion.  If people think you're a decent sort of person they accept you on that basis.  When my demi-girl daughter came to live with me I fearlessly introduced her to folk I knew and the local shop keepers as my daughter and she is accepted as exactly that even though we do look an odd couple when we're out and about together with me in my old fashioned modest style of clothing and my daughter dressed in her usual semi-androgynous modern girl style.

[MyKa]

As of now, no. I grew up in a small town of 1300 people on a 1oo acre farm 7 miles from town. I miss the seclusion and the peace and quiet. And all of the the animals, loved waking up with deer in my front yard. Now, I'm in a larger city wanting to return home, hopefully soon

[stephaniec]

yes, but New Mexico would be better

[Tossu-sama]

I live in a city of ~60,000 people but you wouldn't believe this place is that big (1 469,21 km² big area so all the people are kinda spread around). Originally this was a town of about 30,000 people but the neighboring towns and this one were merged into one big lump.

I... have mixed feelings about this place. I was born and raised here, I have lived here my whole life and I strongly identify as a resident of this area (Southern Ostrobotnia). But considering this is pretty much the biggest city in the area, there's absolutely nothing for LGBTetc people here. I don't even know any trans people from the area. I seriously sometimes have a feeling I'm the only one. It kinda sucks.

Then again, I suppose it kinda helps me to go stealth? At least the amount of people does, in general. In certain circles, things tend to get around but they usually stay in those circles.

Also, I hate the local public transportation. It's terrible.

[SmartAlex]

I like living in Paris for many reason, the first one is the monuments (you know the Eiffel Tower, and stuff like that) there is always a new place to discover ! The second reason is that you can find almost everything because it's a big town (everything exept binder of course !). And the last reason but not the least is the anonymity, some people don't like that, but I think it's cool sometimes. My only regrets is there are no beaches in Paris 

[Victoria L.]

I really do not like Oklahoma. The overall climate is just too warm. The winters always end up majorly disappointing me, because the cold only happens in waves, and when we're outside of a cold front it can warm up into the 70s in the middle of winter! Spring and Summer are just miserable. Spring isn't a balance between cold and hot like it's supposed to be (one might figure, when the temperatures are actually typically nice during the winter), instead it's just excessively warm and humid all of the time, and then there's the tornadic storms. OMG... I can't stand it!

[Mackan]

I live in Stockholm, i used to love it and couldn't imagine living anywhere else but I really don't like it anymore.

It's overcrowded , to few apartments for all these people, rents are super high and the winters are too long and the sun literally doesn't show itself for.months and it makes me depressed. Luckily I'm moving soon.

[enigmaticrorschach]

heck no. i'm the only trans in my entire town. its kinda lonely here

[Jill F]

Los Angeles, CA?  Well, I'll just say that I can't imagine living anywhere else.   California is likely the best state in the US as far as trans rights go, so moving out of CA isn't ever going to happen for me.  I moved to the East Coast once upon a time only to move right back to CA two months later.

Los Angeles gets too hot during summer, the traffic blows goats and we do have more than our share of self-absorbed douchenozzles, but the concerts, fine dining and fun to be had is the best I've seen anywhere.

[SonadoraXVX]

South L.A., rough peeps, people do take advantage of you if you appear weak or are weak in asserting yourself. I lived in the downtown L.A. for 19 years and the parking is atrocious, the people are rough, but more accepting of trans people. South L.A., not so much. Depends on what part of L.A.you live in. Southcentral L.A., and South L.A./Compton, rough hood. Once I finish my graduate degree, get another higher paying position, fix my current property, sell it and move to a better neighborhood.

The acronym, Location, Location, Location, is so true, in how your treated, I'd add, research research research, location, location, location.

[IdontEven]

Wow, two people from NC!

I'm about 30 minutes outside Raleigh, NC, and I HATE it here. I used to like it much better before Wake county's population skyrocketed, but I was a very different person then.

I've never lived anywhere else though so I could just be a pessimist now. I've been eyeing places known to be more liberal and trying to figure out how to get myself there. We shall see.

Pine trees + >90 degree heat and humidity + conservative populace = bleh

[iKate]

Los Angeles, CA?  Well, I'll just say that I can't imagine living anywhere else.   California is likely the best state in the US as far as trans rights go, so moving out of CA isn't ever going to happen for me.  I moved to the East Coast once upon a time only to move right back to CA two months later.

Los Angeles gets too hot during summer, the traffic blows goats and we do have more than our share of self-absorbed douchenozzles, but the concerts, fine dining and fun to be had is the best I've seen anywhere.

I like the climate of California and I could get used to beach life in San Diego which is where I usually go visit.

However I cannot imagine dealing with that cost of living. It's bad enough in Jersey, and I heard that California is even worse. The price of gas especially is going to kill me. I like to drive.

[Tiffers]

I live in the Niagara Peninsula in Ontario, Canada.  I love it here because it is beautiful - I get to experience all four seasons (I love snow) and it is only an hour away from Toronto.

[enigmaticrorschach]

I like the climate of California and I could get used to beach life in San Diego which is where I usually go visit.

However I cannot imagine dealing with that cost of living. It's bad enough in Jersey, and I heard that California is even worse. The price of gas especially is going to kill me. I like to drive.

I'd have to say nj is worse xD hahaha

[iKate]

I'd have to say nj is worse xD hahaha

Well, gas is cheap here and the only really high cost areas are closer to NYC