I am still in the closet to everyone but my wife. Last weekend I hosted a get together at my place with the five guys I hung out with all through high school. In the 35 years since high school, we have gotten together anywhere from once a year to several times a year depending on what is going on in everyone's lives.
I was always the youngest in the group by anywhere from several months to two years, and always kind of the low man on the totem pole. I was the smallest and geekiest in this collection of geeky guys, and even got picked on some within the group when we were young (but no bullying, mostly good natured ribbing that only occasionally turned a little mean). This was my first time hosting.
My wife and I are not strangers to hosting events, and we put out a full spread of food, I heated the pool for anyone who wanted to swim, there was an Xbox for the three teenage sons that came along, we Skyped with a high school buddy who now lives in another country, and we went bowling at a local alley.
Even so, there were little gripes about the quality of the bowling alley, why we weren't going out for food, and other little things. And there were jokes made around the table about Bruce Jenner.
Afterward, my wife said, "You can't come out to these guys."
And she is right, for now. If/when I transition, it is going to destroy the group, by forever altering the group dynamic. I realize that I am bottom dog, rather than alpha dog, but some guys just have to have that hierarchy, and when you become a girl in their eyes, they lose their comfort zone and it troubles them.
Some guys, particularly younger ones, don't have a problem with that, but among the older set, it is a real problem.
