Keep talking to people when you're feeling bad, your therapist should help take off some of the strain.
I'm really sorry to hear about your mum - she might just be going through a tough patch with coming to terms with it, I hope so comes round soon

I'll second what Laura7 said, there's lots of really helpful and supportive anti-suicide chats out there, please reach out if you're feeling like that again.
If you need somewhere to vent, my PM is always open, I'd be happy to be an ear for you

I hope things get a little brighter soon
~Matt