What if you had the choice to be cis?

[Obfuskatie]

I've always thought that the "cursed" girdle of gender change from DnD was such a wonderful thing. *POOF* you're a girl with all the right parts and a convenient explanation as to why everyone is just gonna have to get used to it. "No Mom I can't go back to being a boy without a ring of wishes or a genie and that would be ridiculously dangerous... NO Mom I'm not going into a dragons lair just so you can have your son back. Seriously guys you're not quest givers... No you may not bother Elminster in his tower... the last person ended up as a cheese pie..."

[emoji23] This!
I was playing Fable 2? and my friend was playing coop with me, which was fun until he inadvertently chose yes for my character to use a ring for a onetime changing her into a guy. I was soooooo mad. Stupid game.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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[Obfuskatie]

What if I could fly?
What if I could walk on water?
What if I could predict the future?
What if I had green eyes?

Seriously, I don't play the "what if" game.  It never ends well.  All I can do is play the hand I was dealt the best I can play it and hope for the best. 

So far, so good.

Flying is the super power I would always choose. Even if I could only fly slowly or backwards, I'd love it.
Being able to walk on water would make surfing and waterskiing really easy, maybe too easy. It might be boring if I couldn't swim with friends, but you didn't say I couldn't submerge myself in liquid.
If I could predict the future I'd be very bored. Rich, but bored.
My eyes are blue, but I really like the color green.
Psh I play the what if game all the time in my head, why not do it publicly in fun?


     Hugs,
- Katie
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[Tessa James]

This is fun speculation and imaginative people do consider those what ifs.  Like Tysilio I just have to look at my siblings and the life my five sisters had and it was no better bed of roses.  Growing up in the 50's and 60s, my sisters were smart but still considered second class and they had many more restrictions than I did.

This also reminds me of the many sci-fi shows like the Twilight Zone where the genie or devil offer to grant that special wish.  The wish is wonderful but the plot twist often includes story morals wherein the recipient tragically recognizes life still has stress, failure and pain of different but even worse sorts. 

Spending too much time on wishes, wands and magic may end up distracting us from what really is an attainable dream?

[amber roskamp]

As a trans women who is happy with her lady bits, and doesn't even want the stereotypical lady bits, I don't know if I would actually want to be cis. I mean if I were to wish for anything it's that I was raised in a more supportive environment and I started my transition in my teenage years and had the knowledge that I wouldn't lose friends or family in the process...

[michelle]

I would rather have been born a cis female.   I really don't think that my life would have been less stressful, it probably wouldn't,  but then I would have had to deal with all the problems cis women deal with from the time they were born.   I would have been my natural self which would have been wonderful.    But just the same,   life would still have been full of ups and downs and pain and pleasure, but I would have been me.

[Carrie Liz]

I'd give anything to be cis. No family rejection, no feeling guilty for asking them to accept me for being myself, no more internal mental battles about how I'll never have what every single cis woman takes for granted every single day, no more hating myself every single time I look at another girl and realize that my femininity will never be as complete as theirs, no more feeling inadequate, no more feeling guilty for being myself, no more constantly needing to convince myself that I have the right to exist at all, no more worries about whether anyone could ever find me attractive, I could actually dream of having a family...

Don't even get me started. I'd take all of that "it's made you mentally stronger" mental reasoning BS and shove it in an instant if I had the option.

I wish my past self during those 27 years would just die, frankly. I never liked being him in the first place, and now even after over 2 years of transition and a year of full-time I feel like he'll never stop haunting me and making my life miserable.

I don't even care if I was actually cis, I just wish I, and everyone else in the world, could be rid of the mental baggage of knowing that I'm trans. My body isn't really that different from cis-women's bodies. If I didn't know that my body features are the way that they are because of testosterone and a male puberty, if I were to have my mind re-written so that to myself I was nothing but a big infertile cis-women, I imagine that it would be much easier to forgive myself. And if I didn't have to constantly fight with other people who know my past, who will always see me as a son instead of a daughter, who will always be trying to guilt-trip me about how I took away the person they knew, my life would be so much easier.

[stephaniec]

the draw back for me would be that I know I would of married and had kids and would of loved my husband and lived my life as a homemaker. I wish I had a husband and a glamorous life, but the life I actually lived I liked a lot except for being physically wrong. So painful question , but I like who I am and that would of been different if I'd been born a cis female. There are a lot of positives to have been born right , but I would of missed out on a lot to.

[Mariah]

CIS female yes. CIS male I'm not sure I would have ever enjoyed that. I don't understand that group as it is. Hugs
Mariah

[iKate]

I would jump at the chance to be cis. Growing up as a girl would be much more preferable to having to transition later. Socially and medically.

[Obfuskatie]

CIS female yes. CIS male I'm not sure I would have ever enjoyed that. I don't understand that group as it is. Hugs
Mariah

Lol, I spent a long time trying to figure out and imitate cisgender hetero-men, and I still totally get baffled half the time. At least I can sort of translate between girl talk and boy talk. But still, I discovered I had no idea how guys actually felt when I realized all my feelings were feminine.


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Tysilio]

This also reminds me of the many sci-fi shows like the Twilight Zone where the genie or devil offer to grant that special wish.  The wish is wonderful but the plot twist often includes story morals wherein the recipient tragically recognizes life still has stress, failure and pain of different but even worse sorts.

Yeah, genies tend to have an evil sense of humor. Remember the one about the guy who asked the genie for a million bucks, and when he looked out the window his house was surrounded by deer?

[Naeree]

If I born again, I would exactly be myself again, a transgender woman, a little prettier would be nice. I do not want to be a cis, really no point to want to be cis. You will hate yourself if you keep thinking about how much you want to be cis. I see so many benefit of being trans and no one can enjoy ourselves like we do.

See one day my cis girl friends told me that, "I wish I could be you, so I don't have to go through periods every months" then I turn to her and said "You will never be girl."

I told my mom that "It's not that easy to have a transgender child you know, you have to be really lucky to have one."

I know you guys have been through alot of discrimination, but remember there are place and people that are cool for us too. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about being a trans.

Hug

[Rejennyrated]

Perhaps I am missing the point here, but it has always been my belief, that once you no longer feel dysphoric you are no longer trans. I don't really accept the once trans always trans line of thought, because that's like saying it's some sort of incurable condition, whereas my view is whether by transition, or GRS or perhaps both, once you are happy with yourself then you are fixed, ergo no longer trans. You do of course have a trans history, and you always will, but not a trans present.

Thus I would argue that I was trans for the first five years of my life, before my parents allowed me to transition, and thanks to lack of puberty blockers back in the 1970's, I was trans again when puberty hit and I couldn't get HRT and SRS until I was an adult. However once I had both of those the dysphoria vanished and I ceased to have trans feelings. Thus I would argue that since my 20's I have effectively been functionally cis, although for some of my youth and childhood I was trans.

Now I know some people may find that over complicated, but it's just the way it makes sense to me, and I offer it as a possible alternative pov. Feel free to ignore my thoughts if you don't find that a helpful model, but please don't be offended because its just the way I see it.

[amber roskamp]

Perhaps I am missing the point here, but it has always been my belief, that once you no longer feel dysphoric you are no longer trans. I don't really accept the once trans always trans line of thought, because that's like saying it's some sort of incurable condition, whereas my view is whether by transition, or GRS or perhaps both, once you are happy with yourself then you are fixed, ergo no longer trans. You do of course have a trans history, and you always will, but not a trans present.

Thus I would argue that I was trans for the first five years of my life, before my parents allowed me to transition, and thanks to lack of puberty blockers back in the 1970's, I was trans again when puberty hit and I couldn't get HRT and SRS until I was an adult. However once I had both of those the dysphoria vanished and I ceased to have trans feelings. Thus I would argue that since my 20's I have effectively been functionally cis, although for some of my youth and childhood I was trans.

Now I know some people may find that over complicated, but it's just the way it makes sense to me, and I offer it as a possible alternative pov. Feel free to ignore my thoughts if you don't find that a helpful model, but please don't be offended because its just the way I see it.

I don't think of being trans as any kind of condition. Just your gender identity doesn't conform to what sex you were said to be when you were born.

I just think of being trans as a kind of adjective to describe me as a women ( like being a tall women, or a white women). to me it says I am a women who was assigned male at birth but disagreed with every one that said I was a man. to me that doesn't sound like I ever had any kind of condition. I still think you are trans because no matter how passable you are you don't have cis privilege. Even if you are deep stealth, you still have to hide your past from the world unless you want to deal with the world learning your trans and potentially freaking out about that. So even though your transition is complete, you still have issues that only trans people have.

[lostcharlie]

Like Jill , never been big on the "what if game", but what the heck I'll play .. I just wish the brain had matched the body, male or female. External life might have not been any better but maybe just maybe I might have had some internal peace and happiness.

[Rejennyrated]

I don't think of being trans as any kind of condition. Just your gender identity doesn't conform to what sex you were said to be when you were born.

I just think of being trans as a kind of adjective to describe me as a women ( like being a tall women, or a white women). to me it says I am a women who was assigned male at birth but disagreed with every one that said I was a man. to me that doesn't sound like I ever had any kind of condition. I still think you are trans because no matter how passable you are you don't have cis privilege. Even if you are deep stealth, you still have to hide your past from the world unless you want to deal with the world learning your trans and potentially freaking out about that. So even though your transition is complete, you still have issues that only trans people have.

I see your point Amber - and I think what it reveals is my thinking as a (soon to be) doctor in that I do think of it in terms of a medical condition which I have now fixed. Thats quite interesting to me to see how my brain unconsciously looks at things through a lens of pathology.

As to the rest, no I'm not in stealth, but I can honestly say that I have never had anyone freak out on me, possibly because my social rank and achievements in life would make it socially pretty unacceptable for them to do so.

I simply don't permit people the luxury of approval or disapproval, because I present myself in such a matter of fact - "here I am this is me, this is who and what I am. Now take it or leave it and I dont give a sh.t, but you'll be the loser if you object..." kind of way, that to date in THIRTY years literally nobody has EVER had the balls to make something of it.

OK that may make me seem like an arrogant twerp - actually I'm not - but I do carefully cultivate a finely judged level of peresumption to silence any would be questioners before they reach first base.

I suppose in effect I claim CIS privilege as if it were mine by right, and psychologically defy anyone in the room to call me - and the great thing is in my experience 100% of the time they read my projected confidence and they blink first - so i win! If they called me, of course, I'd lose - but it's like poker - if you have a really good poker face you can effectively tell someone the truth that you don't want them to believe, in such a way that they instead buy the lie that you do want them to believe, even though you have actually told them its a lie!

So paradoxically I kind of psych people into granting me CIS privillege, which is not mine by rights, whilst being completely blatant about it. One day I suppose I may get my comeupance - but it hasnt happened yet...

[Damara]

If I'm totally honest with myself, yes.. If it'd be possible to know what it was like to be transgender and STILL be cis.. I'd prefer that so I could fully appreciate what I have..

[RachelsMantra]

I don't think I would choose to be cis because I like who I am as a unique individual. Being a hybrid is interesting and nuanced. I have always enjoyed pushing the boundaries of what's acceptable in society. Like others said, being trans gives life some spice. Though the thought of violence against me is pretty damn scary to be honest. But you only live once. Gotta embrace it. I want to be like the honey badger - not giving a ->-bleeped-<-.

[Pizzaparty78]

If I had the choice, yes yes yes. Although I've had so many experiences that I couldn't have if I was cis, it'd be worth it knowing that I could have kids, I'd go through puberty like a cis boy and be able actually date girls as a guy (considering I'm not out to the majority of kids at my high school) Many of the things I've done could've still happened if I were cis. I would give just about anything to be a cis guy.

[CaitlinE]

Cis.  Totally.  Been wishing it for 35 years, so not turning around on that.  But...

If it'd be possible to know what it was like to be transgender and STILL be cis.. I'd prefer that so I could fully appreciate what I have.

I completely agree.  Very well said.