Transitioning is a choice but not being transgender

[Dodie]

Please note.. this is just a rant.. hope some of you enjoy.. just in fun sort of but not really.
After I eat hot sauce I get a little nutty.. sorry..


Funny how some think being LGBT is a choice.. a lifestyle choice..
For me, transitioning was a choice.. over death.  One way or another I was going down.  I was unhealthy, unhappy and had no desire to move on with my life.
It was a slow death, took time for me to give in.
I fought being transgender all my life, not just every now and then but every day.
I could be having the time of my life in Hawaii, see a girl in a pony tail or cute bathing suite and think, wow that should have been me when I was young.
Every time that happened more of me died inside. It happened a lot.. chipping away year after year.
I was lucky, smart and good in business so I was able to cope, raising a family, buying things to make me happy only to realize no thing could make me happy.  I tried God.. so hard I tried.. God heal me.. I prayed as an older adult.. As a young person I prayed God make me a girl.. 
Now, God answered my prayers.. God says finally girl you gave in to who you are and I am proud of you.
You see, so many Christians think they have this direct link to God and know.. this or that is sin.. when really they are just using an abstract thing to hurt others.. Not on purpose.. out of fear of something different..
Why, well after listening to a pastor or certain political views certain groups get into a cult or almost gang mentality.
They think its us against the world.. satan and I lower case it on purpose.. is after you.
My ex gets it now..
She is a 10.. I am not kidding.. a babe. She also was a perfect wife.. sorry I know what your going to say no one is perfect.. well she is. 
I gave her up.  If this were a choice, I would have taken the easy way.. who the hell wants to be a woman anyway.  I am a woman.. so there.. I have to live with it and if someone does not understand to bad.
I could be sitting on a yacht this weekend at the lake sipping high dollar scotch with my babe if this was a choice.
Instead I am paying for two houses.. gladly.. its ok I love her..my ex.. she deserves it and we will always be close.
If this was a choice I would like to see a guy go get his beard removed in two days.. ouch.. damn it hurts all those shots to numb your face.. and do it over and over again.
If this is a choice, I would like to see a guy get FFS.. take that chance..  or SRS..
Point is, people tend to take the easy road if they can.. the comfortable road in life.
Think about small kids that are transgender that are teased.. hell they don't want to be teased do they..
This dang choice thing just pisses me off..
Sorry, it sets my blood boiling..
I hope no one says that in front of me .. I may be a woman but I used to wrestle and I would turn em into a pretzel.
Love
Dodie

[Abby Claire]

Yeah, it's definitely not a choice. It's funny because sometimes people seem taken aback when I'm pretty lackadaisical about some transition things (like picking a name or how long I've been on HRT, etc), but the truth is it's because this is just the way it needs to be. Everyone around me gets excited about the little things I accomplish except me because I kind of know this is just how it has to be. One thing I tell a lot of people who "don't get it" is that this isn't wish fulfillment for me. If I had my wish, I would have been born female or not be transgender at all.

And trust me, I'm VERY happy with my life right now.

[Dodie]

Totally get it Abby.. like your attitude.. that is a healthy way to move forward..
Dodie

[Kellam]

I would never have chosen this but I am glad to have lived it. Like you Dodie, for me it seemed slow death was my only other option. Just a month before I made the leap I had injured myself badly yet again, I let my head almost get wedged between a scissor lift and a door frame, luckily all I got was a lump on my head and a bruised face. The careless self disrespect and disregard for my existence and well being were always chipping away at my soul. Every time I saw the women around me living their lives, every time I was lumped in with the men I died a little. I was screamingly exhausted with existence. I had spent the better part of four years since hitting my alcoholic bottom trying to be happy, admitting to all of my troubles and feeling better about myself. But I still wanted to be dead. That has all gone away since I began transition. If this is a choice then it isn't much of one. It's like Eddie Izzard's British Inquisition bit. "Cake or Death?" I chose cake, I don't even like cake, but it is so much better than death!

[Erica_Y]

People seem to be very good at viewing things from the point of view of how it impacts them first and then responding accordingly not really taking the time to get educated as they are to busy talking to be listening and understanding.

Also I think the total commitment, adversity, burden and magnitude of the process is largely hidden or not obvious to society so as a result they do not really appreciate what we go through. SRS gets the media attention however it in its self is not a full representation of what we endure and sacrifice. Perhaps the joy and positives need more attention anyhow and why this whole living authentically is a good thing to celebrate.

If this was a choice I sure would not have selected it but here we are.

However through our examples and showing positive outcomes and experiences we should be able to swing the popular opinion and education in due course; it is happening now more so than even a few years ago.

[LizMarie]

Love ya, Dodie! And you speak truth.

But do you want to know what is a choice?

It's a choice to be an intolerant religious zealot. That's a choice.

It's a choice to make fun of people who are different than you. That's a choice.

It's a choice to try to deny civil rights to people you don't like. That's a choice.

All of those choices create a lifestyle. Guess who's living a lifestyle that they could leave behind if they wanted? Those bigots, that's who. Oh, the irony.

[Emileeeee]

Chipping away. That is a good description. I never really thought of it that way. I just wish more of us would see sooner that the "easier" road we spend most of our life traveling down, is actually the harder one.

[Ⓥ]

Ms. Dodie,

You're an absolute inspiration, first of all.

Secondly, this post hits me right in the feels...it hurts so much to be told by your family that you're sinning and you need to repent!

I say, "Imagine you were born with blue hair and all your life you dyed it so you wouldn't be treated like a misfit by society.  You dyed it brown just to fit in and protect yourself!  Imagine this, and imagine that over time you just couldn't stand it anymore and stopped dyeing your hair... not because you were trying to be something you're not, but because you needed to finally be what you are:  a bluenette™ (yep, totally trademarked!).  ...and the twist of it all is that you're told by the people you love most that your blue hair is a choice and a sin.

It's kinda like that... but my analogy usually falls on deaf ears.  Haters gonna hate, yo.

[Dodie]

I amoving these responses will chime in later
Driving
Dodie