If your not atracted to the opposite gender how do you feel being checked out

[Lady Smith]

I wouldn't mind, as long as it's not creepy or I feel like I'm getting harassed.  Checking out and being creepy aren't the same thing.  Sexual attraction and sexual objectification are two entirely different things; having desires is not the same as not treating women like people.

I just want them to bundle up their desires and take them elsewhere.  The moon would be good.

[amber roskamp]

Well have you considered rainbow accessoires (assuming you're out ? ) ?

And eye contact might help

Thanks for the pointers. 

[Eva Marie]

Although at the moment I am more attracted to women than men I am finding some guys rather cute these days. Getting checked out by either men or women is fine with me as long as it doesn't cross into the creepy category. Men are going to do what men do because of testosterone so it goes with the territory of being a female. And as someone said getting checked out means I am doing something right.... or very, very wrong.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

I just want them to bundle up their desires and take them elsewhere.  The moon would be good.

Then I disagree with you - vehemently.

Nothing disturbs me like the idea that men having sexual desires should be a bad thing.  Boys being guilt tripped into believing they're bad people for having sexual thoughts? Men being treated as predators first and people second?  Yeah, I'm not pretending I'm okay with that. I understand that some people who hold those views have had horrible experiences with men, but still.

Now, making women feel uncomfortable is a different thing.

[Ms Grace]

 
This is not a thread for bagging out men - vilification or bashing of men will not be allowed. Thanks.

[Lady_Oracle]

Hmmm I've never really thought about this cause its really whatever to me. I don't really care if guys are checking me  out since I'm not trying to date them.

[BenKenobi]

I've never really been hit on by anyone other than online and only because they liked my assertive personality and not my appearance. I don't know if i pass well enough for a guy but it's a nice thought if either straight women or gay men find me attractive

[Zoetrope]

Yes, I think we could be more kind to men.

I mean if anything, we should have inside info, and be more understanding of what it is like.

I haven't forgotten what it was like to have male hormones moulding my reality in real-time. That is how it felt. It's a *very* different position to where I am now.

I look at the upsides of the way men are. Their fiery passion, drive, impulsiveness - these aren't traits that we all desire - but I find it terribly exciting to be *in that presence* :~)

[Wild Flower]

You know what.....


Even if we have inside access to being a man, its more or less... I see, feel, hear as a woman until I see the mirror on the wall or hear my voice.

Its like being in a video game, that never ends, and I suck at it too. Me at my most "manliest" is more like a woman proving her worth in a mans world.

I remember this dude looking at me with surprise because I rejected his help.

Another guy once said, "well hes a man". Like it needed to be said. I dont know... im not even out there feminity... its like my qualities are feminine.... but  im more man than a lot of guys.

Strong woman in a mans body. I guess.

[Dee Marshall]

Yes, I think we could be more kind to men.

I mean if anything, we should have inside info, and be more understanding of what it is like.

I haven't forgotten what it was like to have male hormones moulding my reality in real-time. That is how it felt. It's a *very* different position to where I am now.

I look at the upsides of the way men are. Their fiery passion, drive, impulsiveness - these aren't traits that we all desire - but I find it terribly exciting to be *in that presence* :~)

I think there's a good biological reason for men to be obsessed and aggressive about sex. Without that fewer couples would form and fewer children would be born. Now in this overpopulated world it would be great for that to be toned back but for the great majority of the millions of years we existed, men's behavior was critical to our racial survival. In a way it still is, I think, because it's a main driving force of innovation.

There's a good biological reason for us to enjoy being admired, too,and I do, even though I'm an infertile lesbian and I'll never parent a child of my own making again. It's a good feeling to have outside proof that you look good.

Way too philosophical a digression for the topic. Yes, it gives me a pleasant little shiver to be checked out, but only so long as the checker is someone I could conceivably pick for a partner, even if just for a short while.

[Lady Smith]

I apologise for derailing this thread.  As you might have guessed I have a whole truck load of unresolved issues I'm dealing with at the moment and sometimes I let my pain and anger get the better of me.

[stephaniec]

I just had a strange experience sitting outside a café by my apartment. I was sitting in the outside tables and a group of 5 or 6 guys walked by. I Live by a University so groups of guys are walking around all the time. I've been transitioning for 19 months so I have had the proper hormones in me for that time. living next to a University and with groups of girls and guys walking around I've been waiting for the comments from the peanut gallery . There has been nothing for 19 months even though I hang out in the places that the students hang out and study. So I'm quite unsure how to digest the comment as the group of male students walked by me. They said " what was that" now being a group of guys talking to each other I come to the conclusion the phrase had two possible meanings: one would be that I'm gorgeous ( the one I prefer ) or that I was like a platypus ( no harm intended towards the species) . So given the fact that in 2 years of transition I've never hear a any kind of comment from the background noise I'm going with the so incredibly beautiful a comment needed to be made.

[Marly]

And you never know, the response could have been about something one of the guys had said to another...unless he actually glanced back, or pointed in your direction.

[Tessa James]

Despite the qualification in your opening post I want to respond.  Yes, I love people of all kinds, so bi or pan work as labels.  My concern about being checked out is that there is no certainty that they are checking me out for lascivious interests or because my gender is indeterminate for them.  I used to enjoy strong eye contact with men.  Presumably gay and bi guys sharing a smile in return.  Now I don't know whats up unless they are clearly checking out my boobs.  Sometimes fun and validating, it also gives me some empathy for the objectification women have dealt with for so long.  My welcome to the girls club has meant that apparently women no longer see me as a lecherous threat.  If a woman checks me out it feels less threatening to me too.  And then, is there any stronger aphrodisiac than desire?

[Ms Grace]

They said " what was that"...

I'd pay it no mind. If they weren't looking at you they were probably referring to something else or asking someone to repeat what they said.

And the platypus is awesome!

[Girl Beyond Doubt]

They said " what was that"...

Come on you target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
Shine on you crazy diamond.

[Lady Smith]

I've come to the conclusion that I can't call myself a Christian or be an advocate for gender diversity if I'm seeking to deny men their right to be normal healthy males.  So over the past few hours since I last posted I've been looking very hard at myself and working on weeding out the poison I've been holding deep inside myself.  Truthfully it would have to be a rare kind of guy that I would let come into my life, but at least now I'm not denying the possibility.

[Jasper93]

Well, I'm bi so I take what I can get from anyone as far as checking me out when I'm in public. the more I transition the more I really enjoy men looking at me and drooling . It's really a fun feeling. Just wondering how those that are only sexually attracted to one gender find it while transitioning when the gender their not sexually attracted to tries to come on to you or scan you physically like an airport body scanner. There are exceptions for me though. I was in a grocery store awhile ago sitting on a bench and this extra large butcher kept looking at me like I was a pork chop, not a fun feeling.

I'll be completely honest -- I'm far more attracted to the female physique than to the male one.  But, if I'm getting checked out by males, it's a reminder that I'm very attractive and am being seen as who I really am.  Granted, I'm a bit of a freak, and even the thought of being seen as a piece of meat to be dominated is generally pretty hot to me lol.

[amber roskamp]

I'll be completely honest -- I'm far more attracted to the female physique than to the male one.  But, if I'm getting checked out by males, it's a reminder that I'm very attractive and am being seen as who I really am.  Granted, I'm a bit of a freak, and even the thought of being seen as a piece of meat to be dominated is generally pretty hot to me lol.

Lol me too. Haha

Though I am a switch. I usually am very submissive but sometimes I like to be a dominant bottom. Just it really depends on who I'm with.

I honestly will be more dominant with more macho men. It feels like I am crushing the patriarchy..... With my butt lol

[ana1111]

well I am attracted to the opposite gender(men) and im sure everyone here can guess how I feel about guys hitting on me by now lol ... as far as cis or trans girls hitting on me which happens a lot online and has happened at lgbt events too...I don't dislike it necessarily and usually take it as a compliment but it can get annoying or uncomfortable when its persistant or I look at them as like a friend rather than a random stranger...it can just make things a tad awkward sometimes