Men in general....?

[Wild Flower]

More than ever, I noticed men are primarily looking for sex, as a guy. I dont see guys ever looking for dating or relationships... true love. Even when I tell a guy "why bother me if youre looking sex???" If i wanted sex... i can find it in less than 15 mins... top. Within 30-60 with a hot guy...

And you know what. 4 yrs ago that help my self esteem.

Today me is like....  sex is easy, love is a needle in a haystack.


Only 1-3 guys in my life love me..   only 1 saw me as a female in some voodoo hoodoo way that I cant explain (wasnt even out... and he wasnt gay:)

Needle in haystack. Do transgender passable females deal with just sex lusted guys.

[Laura_7]

Well you might simply look for someone you can click with...

and build some kind of friendship first...

and then take it from there...


hugs

[Mariah]

It's true they are a needle in a haystack and the wrong ones seem to draw to me like a moth does a flame. So many of them that I have shot down more them then I can count or care to anymore. The nice thing was early on I found one that wasn't just interest in sex which is great. He isn't rushing me for it either and I appreciate that. He loves me for me and that has only attracted me to him more. His kind and considerate heart is what has one me over from day one and I wasn't searching for anyone. I'm not sure if your actively searching or if they are coming to you. If they are coming to you take a stand and tell them your not interested. If it's a result of your searching sometimes fine tuning how we do that and where we do that can help. Drawing the right crowd towards you instead of the wrong ones. If they truly care they will be interested in being friends first and then something more that grows from there. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[Sabrina]

I wouldn't know. I'm not passable yet.

[suzifrommd]

WF, the guys who find you - the ones who aggressively and cockily come up to you at parties, in bars, on the street, or wherever, they're looking for something from you.

The other guys, the ones who want to form a relationship, those are harder to find. You need to go looking for them.

[iKate]

I wouldn't know. I'm not passable yet.

You aren't? 

[Tessa James]

Having previously lived so long in a testosterone fueled body with a voracious libido I understand how much stimulus there is for men.   Men are still responsible for their appetite and how they express themselves and obviously many will be up front about looking to score.  I heard enough of that male conquest and boasting BS to last a life time.  Nothing wrong with wanting love but when we get treated as objects the game is over for me.  I am passable as a transgender person who enjoys being attractive but not looking for more at this time.   Typically it is our "looks" that start the motors running but we have ultimate control about where this vehicle is headed and who gets on board.  That seems both the joy and tedium of dating with plenty of frogs to kiss before your prince is revealed?

[AshleyP]

Typically it is our "looks" that start the motors running...

It's funny to me that you'd say it that way. I remember a long time ago my dad said a man's motor is running all the time.

-AshleyP

[Tessa James]

LOL too true for the majority I'd guess.  Hmmm, do women have wet dreams??

[Jenna Marie]

Heck, cis women have to deal with it all the time, and that's without the added potential fetish attraction for another subset of guys.

I second what Suzi says about how the guys who just want cheap sex are the ones who are most likely to "cold contact" a potential target, too.

(Yes, women also have orgasms in their sleep, though they're not usually "wet dreams." )

[Nickywhat]

I'm of the notion that Love in it's purest form....doesn't exist.  I had a loving and intimate relationship for 5 strong years.  No backstabbing, real talking to one another when things upset each other, had good sex without it being the center point.  We did things for each other and were there when we need it to count...and poof...gone.  I was told that for months my Boyfriend had questioned our relationship and if it was going to go anywhere.... I WAS LIED TO...from the person  I devoted my time, effort, money and heart for...just upped and gone like it was soured milk.  No, this was the most serious I had ever been in a relationship and it felt so damn genuine.  People are fake, they're as real as they can be...but once it involves a relationship, commitment, it falls apart majority of the time.  So, I'm of the mind that majority of people don't know what love is, or what it really means to be in a relationship.  People want a flesh bag to hug as if it's stuff animal that they can pick up whenever they need it, they want somebody to tell them what they want to hear...they want someone they can have access to for sex.

For me, true love is a fairy tale that we want to believe in...then reality ends up saying hello. 

:7

[Laura_7]

I'm of the notion that Love in it's purest form....doesn't exist.  I had a loving and intimate relationship for 5 strong years.  No backstabbing, real talking to one another when things upset each other, had good sex without it being the center point.  We did things for each other and were there when we need it to count...and poof...gone.  I was told that for months my Boyfriend had questioned our relationship and if it was going to go anywhere.... I WAS LIED TO...from the person  I devoted my time, effort, money and heart for...just upped and gone like it was soured milk.  No, this was the most serious I had ever been in a relationship and it felt so damn genuine.  People are fake, they're as real as they can be...but once it involves a relationship, commitment, it falls apart majority of the time.  So, I'm of the mind that majority of people don't know what love is, or what it really means to be in a relationship.  People want a flesh bag to hug as if it's stuff animal that they can pick up whenever they need it, they want somebody to tell them what they want to hear...they want someone they can have access to for sex.

For me, true love is a fairy tale that we want to believe in...then reality ends up saying hello. 

:7

Well a partnership needs some kind of work... I'd say ideally from both sides...  with communication, appropriate compromises, shared things...
different from tv stories many people are shown as examples, but something that simply can be learned...
and sometimes people simply evolve in different directions...

keep on keeping on, nice people are out there

*hugs*

[Jenna Marie]

Nicky, I'm very sorry that happened to you, and it's no wonder you're having trust issues now.

I believe in "true love" mostly because I believe I've found it, so I'm hardly going to discount someone who uses their own experiences to draw conclusons the same way I have. (My wife stuck with me through transition and we've been together since we were teenagers, so I know I'm super lucky.)

[Emily E]

Guys are just interested in sex and like you said it doesn't take long to find one willing to have sex and while I have never been one to go out actively looking I know several that do and they have sex regularly... most women have been living with this to some extent since they were in their teens and had to learn to deal with the constant non-stop offers and interest shown towards them... with advice their mothers, grandmothers and moral support from friends they also learned to keep their knees together because the guys interested in them for sex will be gone the second they have had what they want from them. 

I'm sure the more you pass the more you will have to learn to deal with this.

[Orchid]

I know that my brother used to look for sex and fun, that kind of girlfriend type- it changes when you find someone that you simply enjoy talking to. With her faith, sex is prohibited, and he enjoys her person rather than something else he often focused on.

While I think my brother is fantastic, I can't say that quality itself is rare. There are men out there that I've gotten to know that are warm about relationships. Sex can be numbing when that's what someone focuses on most in a relationship, but not all men focus on it.

[Zoetrope]

I just can't help feeling amused by find all the 'man' talk on here.

I mean, if we *were* biologically female, and had never been socialised as male - then we would be able to say men are a mystery, and feel shocked by the way men behave.

But we really don't have that excuse, do we? :~D

[V M]

Because everyone is different I avoid generalizations, not all guys are 'hose monsters', there are also guys out there who are looking for a genuine loving relationship

Possibly it is time to consider and re-examine where and whom you hang out with

[Lady Smith]

Women friends would sometimes ask me questions about why men acted the way they did and I'd reply, 'I don't know, it's no use asking me'.  Despite having suffered male socialisation men still remain a mystery to me.

[awilliams1701]

I've always found both men and women to be a mystery. I've found that male behavior is more disturbing though. I feel like I'm just starting to understand female behavior.

I just can't help feeling amused by find all the 'man' talk on here.

I mean, if we *were* biologically female, and had never been socialised as male - then we would be able to say men are a mystery, and feel shocked by the way men behave.

But we really don't have that excuse, do we? :~D

[Zoetrope]

I guess I've had many and varied interactions.

I have two or three close male friends.

Sometimes when they do something 'very male', and are feeling down about it, I comfort them.
---

''There, there - I actually *do* understand, you know?''

*man-sobs onto my shoulder*