How do you overcome this?

[shanetastic]

So this weekend I went out of town in celebration of a friends birthday.  It turned okay, but I'm having some minor little problems here.  First off, I don't know if this influences your answers or anything but I'll throw it out there just incase.  I've been on HRT for like a week now (not sure if it matters or not).

Moving on though, I was with a good friend and two of her friends this weekend.  And well, by the time the weekend ended, I was pretty much depressed about some issues, and pretty severely.  I know I'm probably going to get the "who cares" response to these issues but I'll throw them out there anyways because it's killing me.

First off, after being around them for so long it sort of seemed depressing that I am / and have been missing out on a wonderful life like them.  It kills me so much to see the happyness and life in them, while looking into myself and just seeing this black hole.  It just feels like they all enjoy so much more out of life, while I'm still stuck here really disliking my life. 

Secondly, this is the part where people will bash if they probably do, but I feel like I'm possibly going to be the biggest freak and stand out person alive if I ever even get through this transition.  Anything over like 5'9 is pretty ridiculous and stands out like no other it seems like.  I don't even see anyone taller than that it seems like.  Not to mention while your tall you get that beautiful horrible curse of huge freakish hands and feet too.  It's just so disatisfying about everything about my body.  Not only have I missed out on my while life so far, but while in the process I became some freak who stands out like no other it feels like.

I know there isn't much reason to this thread, but it's just something I can't stand.  There's just NOTHING you can do about it.  One of things that you will be dissapointed with for the rest of your life, and I hate that.  It's just not possible to be anything close to normal, and it really hurts.

[cindianna_jones]

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a problem to deal with in their life.  You would be surprised at how many people feel just as you do without having GID.  There will always be people who will appear happier than we do.  I'm not chastising you.  I'm only pointing out that we seem to feel so isolated and we are not.

I am 5'11".  I am not blessed with small and petite features.  I stand out in a crowd because of my size.  But I fit in because I act like I fit in.  It is natural for me to fit in now.  It feels good.  I enjoy being with people.  I enjoy talking to people I don't know. 

I understand your feelings.  I have felt your despair.  I have been in that pit.

Here, give me your hand.  Let me help you up.

Chin up.

Cindi

[MeganRose]

Cindi, my mum is 5'11", and she so does not stand out in a crowd, maybe people are shorter in your part of the world  .

I'm 6'5", and I guess I do just a bit. I definitely dont feel ridiculous though, nor do I think that it will be something I will ever regret. Before I transitioned I thought I would - it just didnt turn out that way. Instead of feeling ridiculous, I feel confident, attractive, I enjoy being the girl that stands out in the crowd just a little. Didn't se that one coming, but I sure as hell am not complaining  .

Well, that's me anyway.

Megan

[shanetastic]

Cindi, my mum is 5'11", and she so does not stand out in a crowd, maybe people are shorter in your part of the world  .

I'm 6'5", and I guess I do just a bit. I definitely dont feel ridiculous though, nor do I think that it will be something I will ever regret. Before I transitioned I thought I would - it just didnt turn out that way. Instead of feeling ridiculous, I feel confident, attractive, I enjoy being the girl that stands out in the crowd just a little. Didn't se that one coming, but I sure as hell am not complaining  .

Well, that's me anyway.

Megan

Just hopefully have to give it time and it will change.  Thanks for the advice, just struggling with it lately for some reason.  I really don't understand why because in all honesty it doesn't matter that much.  Just another way things get escaladed because of yourself I guess.

[Kate]

Just another way things get escaladed because of yourself I guess.

Yup, tell me about it.

Hey, I'm 6'2", and honestly... it's no big deal. I was absolutely *obsessed* with my height when trying to deal with all this, but the really weird thing is once I started transitioning, I stopped thinking about it really. Ya kinda just get lost and content in being YOU. In hindsight, I felt more like a "freak" trying to be a guy than I do as a 6'2" girl now.

Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a way to "think" these fears away though. It just seems to fall away on it's own as you transition. What seems freakish and bizarre now gets normalized as you go (which to me is THE key to transition)... and it's just no big deal. People just don't pay as much attention as you'd think.

As for people... well, if you scratch below the surface, you may find that *everyone* has problems. EVERYone is struggling to be "who they are" against the tide of expectations society throws at us. Many, many people feel they've missed their calling, missed out on life, aren't living true to themselves... in fact, you may find that people *thank you* for providing them with the inspiration to be who THEY need to be.

~Kate~

[Karla B]

Don't feel bad! Do you know the average height of fashion models? They're mostly in the range of the 5'8" and above. Besides that, this day and age GGs are also getting taller. Being tall isn't that much of an issue anymore. I'm 5'10" and I know a few GGs,that are about my height and taller. I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about things like that. I believe that being TG we've got other things that we should worry about more. I think we tend to be more self conscious about ourselves, but if you stop and take a look at everyone else, you might not be so different. 

[Berliegh]

It kind of sucks, but it's not really that terrible.

I'm 5'11 and I don't really stand out that much.

I'm really glad i'm 5' 7" but still wish i was shorter......around here in the area where I live most Genetic females are about 5'4"......

[Sheila]

I will chime in here too. I'm 5'9", but I have big shoulders, larger than most men and my arms are much larger that most men and I have lost a lot of muscle. My hands are bigger than most men, but I go about my day and I don't get stared at and I'm treated like a lady. You see, that I have seen a woman (GG) who was bigger than me. I'm not tall, just big. My measurements are 49-37-47. I have C-cups and they don't look that big on me. We all get a little thin skinned at times. As Cindi said chin up.
Sheila

[Suzie]

I know there isn't much reason to this thread, but it's just something I can't stand.  There's just NOTHING you can do about it.  One of things that you will be dissapointed with for the rest of your life, and I hate that.  It's just not possible to be anything close to normal, and it really hurts.

Yes, there is nothing you can do about height.  No sort of Ousterhout surgery will reverse it.  You are stuck with your height as of 2007.  You will shrink a bit as you grow older, but so will the other women.

That being said, I myself am 5' 12" and I too was worried about the height thing at first.  But once I started going out, I realized that being tall is a minor thing.  Ironically, the thing you have to remember is not to slouch being a tall woman.  I'm serious, that's the best advice I can give you.

Stand tall sis!

[Diane]

I'm a big person 6 ft 3 large hands and huge ft. Life sucks , doesn't it.

[shanetastic]

I'm a big person 6 ft 3 large hands and huge ft. Life sucks , doesn't it.

I don't know if i said that earlier. . . I might have depending because my mood was rather sad that night.  But, regardless, I know it doesn't suck just dissapointing about what you have to adapt to.  Wouldn't it just be easier to be born the right way after all?

[Hypatia]

I feel tiny reading this thread... I'm only 4'22"

No, seriously, the most impressive effects that HRT has had on me were it took an inch and a half off my height, and I went down one whole shoe size. So there is hope.

As for the that pesky contrast between everyone else being normal and me being the odd freak out, yeah-- I just try not to let it bother me. I'm pretty cool in my own way. I like being me and letting everyone see that.

A wise woman I respect a lot, when she heard me saying I'm weird, answered: "No-- what you are is authentic."

I'm going with "authentic."

[Berliegh]

I'm a big person 6 ft 3 large hands and huge ft. Life sucks , doesn't it.

I remember going to a transsexual psychotherapy group a few times and everyone towered above me......there were a lot of very tall girls there but they were very confident and self assured...

When I've been to London or go there to a concert I have also seen some genetic females tower above me. A lot of young females are tall these days...

[MeganRose]

Some people are tall. Some people are short. How does that affect the way the world turns?

All I know is that I'm rather tall, and it doesn't mean anything except exactly that, if you measure my vertical height I'm a bit taller than a lot of the people I meet. It doesnt affect my life in any serious way (except for the whole hitting my head on low doorways thing :/ ). I'm tall, and I'm a girl. Wow, crazy. It means nothing.

If you need something to worry about, I suggest going past the whole height issue and finding something that actually makes sense to freak out over. No-one cares. Some girls are tall. Some guys are short. People in general understand this. If you don't, I suggest you try to. You might feel better .

Megan

[seldom]

Most transwoman tower above me.  I am 5'9", finding womens clothing is pretty easy for me, as I fall into a very standard size range as far as cloths and shoes too (even though at a womens 10 I am right at the edge).  I have fairly small spindly hands too.   

Being over 5'11" (anything over is outside of the normal female range) is a strike against you, but its not a total detraction.  Same goes for your large hands and feet.  Being 6'3" though is only a detraction for one thing in the long run: finding cloths.  It will be your face and your overall appearance that will be a much bigger detractor than anything else.  Your size may raise eyebrows, but it does not mean you will not pass.

[Berliegh]

Most transwoman tower above me.  I am 5'9", finding womens clothing is pretty easy for me, as I fall into a very standard size range as far as cloths and shoes too (even though at a womens 10 I am right at the edge).  I have fairly small spindly hands too.   

Being over 5'11" (anything over is outside of the normal female range) is a strike against you, but its not a total detraction.  Same goes for your large hands and feet.  Being 6'3" though is only a detraction for one thing in the long run: finding cloths.  It will be your face and your overall appearance that will be a much bigger detractor than anything else.  Your size may raise eyebrows, but it does not mean you will not pass.

I've not seen many genetic females anywhere near approaching 5' 11" (where do you live Amy? Germany?) most genetic famales are the average 5' 5".......I'm 5' 7" so I'm taller than the average female but most guys are taller than me...

[Kate]

I've not seen many genetic females anywhere near approaching 5' 11" (where do you live Amy? Germany?) most genetic famales are the average 5' 5".......I'm 5' 7" so I'm taller than the average female but most guys are taller than me...

The woman I work with is around 6'1". Her teenage daughters are around 6'0" and 6'1"... and still growing.

My wife's friend was almost as tall as me.

I've seen women as tall or taller than me (6'2") when shopping. It's rare for sure, but not *bizarre* rare.

Yes, the *average* is much shorter, but I'm just saying it's not like being 6-footish is "omg! no way!" to people.

I'm in Pennsylvania, USA.

~Kate~

[MeganRose]

Who the hell cares how tall people are?

It has nothing to do with gender. Tall women, short men, its all normal.

Just deal with it, move on, and care about something that actually means something. I've met girls taller than me, I've met guys taller than me, I'v met guys a lot shorter than me that are attracted to taller girls. It's the way the world works.

Height means nothing, except just that.

Megan

[shanetastic]

Who the hell cares how tall people are?

It has nothing to do with gender. Tall women, short men, its all normal.

Just deal with it, move on, and care about something that actually means something. I've met girls taller than me, I've met guys taller than me, I'v met guys a lot shorter than me that are attracted to taller girls. It's the way the world works.

Height means nothing, except just that.

Megan

I have it was just that one day phase thing Megan.  Everyone has odd days

[Lianne]

The grass always looks greener on the other side. I'm 5'5 and wish I was taller, even at the cost of larger feet and hands. But I guess we always want what we "think" we don't have.

Sure I'm comfortable in my skin, However, we all feel discouraged at times. No matter what size we are. I understand your disappointments, even short girls get them. All things come to pass, and with time we grow comfortable with ourselves.

One day someone will look at you and say, WOW! She so statuesque and confident. I want to be just like her. So, prepare for the day, when someone looks to you with admiration. We all go through our quirky stage. The Cocoon before the butterfly, take time to develop your wings.