Obsessed with what I am, normal?

[meganmichelle]

A year ago I figured out what was going on with me. I'm MTF, have been my whole life, and if you really look at my life its really really obvious . I mean REALLY obvious, and it makes me really angry when others try to minimize it or say to me "why do you have to look at your past and find meaning in the events, why can't they just be events?" My wife uses that one on me, as an argument that I'm not transgender. *sigh* I am.. I know it.. I can feel it in my bones, in my head!

So....the subject of me being female inside is on my mind 24/7 and I can't get it out of my head. It's like I'm excited I figured out my gender, or why I have ticked so weird all my life. Is this normal once you realize it, or am I obsessing?

[katrinaw]

Hey Megan, no you're not really obsessing, you are behaving as anyone does once the points all join together. A bit of a Eureka moment.

I have never gotten it out of my mind, all my life, but just pushed it back from time to time.
But once you grasp it and understand it, you really want to push it.

Embrace it.

L Katy 

[Mariah]

As Katrina said, it's completely normal. It's liberating and freeing once you can act on it and move forward with the process. Good luck and enjoy the ride. Hugs
Mariah

[Fids]

I wasn't sure it was normal either, but looking at this thread it appears it's a common thing to have on your mind all the time!

From my standpoint, I can safely say that my being trans is something that's been on my mind from the moment I get up to the moment I go to sleep lately. Some of it's excitement over the knowledge of my gender, while much of it is a "why can't I have been born cis" or "what am I going to do in the next step of my transition" kind of thing.

It gets overwhelming sometimes, so once in awhile I try to take a step back (which is very difficult).

[JenSquid]

I did the same thing myself when I figured things out. For me, a lot of those past events were things that may not have meant much individually, but when taken in aggregate painted a pretty convincing (if not blindingly obvious) picture. I think a lot of the "obsessing" is simply re-contextualizing one's own life narrative now that you've found the missing piece of the puzzle. You're updating your sense of self to match who you've discovered you actually are, and that takes a lot of time and mental effort. It's normal (I think).

[Eveline]

... I think a lot of the "obsessing" is simply re-contextualizing one's own life narrative now that you've found the missing piece of the puzzle. You're updating your sense of self to match who you've discovered you actually are, and that takes a lot of time and mental effort. It's normal (I think).

^This^

I'm still getting these little "aha" moments that add another piece to the jigsaw puzzle. They've also helped me to release events my younger self accepted "blame" or "shame" for - so unnecessarily in hindsight...