is it transphobic to say i only like or date cis men/women

[Ms Grace]

 

I'm reopening this thread. If anyone accuses anyone else of being a racist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic or anything - or implies it - because of their stated sexual preferences that person will be put on moderation. Just so we're clear, OK?

[SarahSchilling]

I'm in a relationship with another MTF trans girl, but I wouldn't toss around phrases like transphobic towards any person. One's attractions need not be justified. It's as silly as saying someone is sexist for only dating a certain gender.

[SonadoraXVX]

Nah, transphobia implies and alludes to discrimination towards transgender people. People say all the time, I only date men or women, or both, and/or trans people, all completely accepted in the liberal parts of the world. Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Pansexual/Trans only, all completely accepted, sans culture and environment, which is half of the acceptance, depending culture and environment(ie.most conversative parts of the world).

My 2 cents

[Sammy]

Yeah, and we did not mention option of dating intersex people - so are we discriminating them too? Also, I would prefer to date a man, but not a homosexual man (because in my experience we just dont click in some important aspects), so most probably I would hesitate to date a gay guy (which is totally not the case with bi, bicurious). Am I discriminationg gay dudes then? Of course not.
Speaking about dating transpeople (who are extremely rare here), I would not date an MtF, because I am not really into them, and the numbers of FtMs are even less. If he was hot, sure, why not? But this is again not about someone's trans-ness, but other qualities, like attraction, chemistry and all those deeply hidden, yet very important criteria which everyone of us has inside and which facilities our decision "hot or not...".

[Alaia]

I am attracted to people who are stepping into their power, loving who they are and living the fullest in the moment. They are actively engaged in building the future they seek while grounded in the present. --This describes many trans people.

I am turned off however, by people stuck in a low-vibrational, victim mindset. Where they have stories they constantly live in about how terrible their life has been up to this point. It's okay to feel down every now and then. Everybody does. But when a person constantly lives in the past about all the awful things that have happened to them then they are missing out on living in the present. I like to reach out and help these people, but I can't be around them 24/7, it is draining to do so because they suck in all energy around them with their low vibrations. -- This also describes many trans people.

But guess what? These descriptions apply to many cis people too. And even if I found there to be a tendency towards trans people being the latter type, I still would not limit myself to only having relationships with cis people. I prefer to leave myself open to anything and see what happens. If the attraction I first spoke of is there then I will run with it.

[stephaniec]

I'm sorry, I must admit to a fault of mine , I'm kind of partial either to slender women or well developed softly muscular brutally handsome men.

[SarahSchilling]

I am turned off however, by people stuck in a low-vibrational, victim mindset. Where they have stories they constantly live in about how terrible their life has been up to this point. It's okay to feel down every now and then. Everybody does. But when a person constantly lives in the past about all the awful things that have happened to them then they are missing out on living in the present. I like to reach out and help these people, but I can't be around them 24/7, it is draining to do so because they suck in all energy around them with their low vibrations. -- This also describes many trans people.

God, I hate those "oh, woe as me" people.....and yes, a lot of trans people are like that. I will not bother with any of them. Life is far too short. Everyone has had their own struggles and misfortunes. Dwelling on them prevents a person from living their life.

[Zoetrope]

While I do like to be pursued more than I like to pursue - I will never complain of unequal opportunity in being considered girlfriend-material, because I am transsexual.

Because that's nonsense. I have found that if I assert who I am and what I want, then people react to that confidence - boys especially :~]

Yes - not being a victim is a big thing. Turn that on its head. Here I am, what are you gonna do about it?

[V M]

I keep all my relationships on a just friends basis and don't really have much interest in dating anyone, that of course could change, never know when that special someone may rise above all others but I'm not going to hold breath

I think I'm more attracted to the reality of a strong friendship and true companion rather than many of the common aesthetics often associated with relationships

[stephaniec]

I keep all my relationships on a just friends basis and don't really have much interest in dating anyone, that of course could change, never know when that special someone may rise above all others but I'm not going to hold breath

I think I'm more attracted to the reality of a strong friendship and true companion rather than many of the common aesthetics often associated with relationships

sex, drugs and rock and roll, I'm still burnt out being a Hippi. Just give me a kitchen and an all night conversation about the universe and I'm a happy camper.

[wanessa.delisola]

Is it transphobic want to date just cis people? I dont think that this is a black or white kinda question.

For instance: I like women. Cis or trans, thats what turns me on. I dont like guys on general, kinda got into two or three, but, as a rule, I cant say I like guys. So, I would date a trans woman. Already did, in fact. But, if you ask me if I would openly date a trans woman, my answer would problably be "no". But thats because i'm not open about my own transexuality. So, am I transphobic or just a coward?

But lets for a moment forget my coward ways and say: yes, I would openly date a trans woman. Would I date a trans guy? Thats a no for certain! I'm not attracted to guys. I could date a cis guy, if I really really got into him, but not a trans guy. Why? I dunno. Is that transphobic? I dont think so. The same why a straigh guy not dating a  gay guy is not homophobic. Nobody have to be attracted for anybody. They just are or aren't.

I simply dont think things are black or white. The fact that someone doesnt want to date a trans person may be tranphobic, but doesnt mean that is always transphobic.