I fully understand your struggle. I am working through the Intiate program of ADF and that has been put on halt from everything going on with my transition. However, I can not help but wonder, as I start to work through trance, I can not help but wonder how my transition and my spirituality goes hand in hand. I have been researching the two but all I can find is eunuchs and crossdressing- which is fine but it leaves me (personally) wanting more. However, I have been piecing together some research by sifting through the book: Blossom of Bone by Randy P. Conner. It is a great book but it focuses more on homoerotica and less on transexualism. If you have any source material I would be grateful if you wouldn't mind sharing them with me.
Melitta